work hard to hear

Not in the same words, but yes he has basically said something very similar.

For me, it's a comfort thing. If I don't feel comfortable with someone, I am able to express my feelings verbally but it doesn't translate to expressing my emotions nonverbally. My psychiatrist constantly tells me I say the most awful things in a pleasant/smalltalkish manner like I'm discussing the weather instead of suicidal ideation, etc. and that it makes diagnosis or assessment really hard. i am very guarded among most people and it's not even a conscious thing. There are only currently about 2 people on the planet I can be "real" with. I can be with my therapist now, but it took a good 6 months of her saying she didn't really "get" how bad things were/weren't because My emotions were hard to read. But I am very direct in my verbal communication.

My old therapist used to constantly say I didn't use language properly to express emotion because I would say, " I feel like..." Instead of just using a word like "sad" or "angry" or "hopeless." THAT drove me nuts.

No one has ever said that to me, but I know people have a hard time getting to know me. I'm funny, but usually in a deadpan and unusual way, so that people who don't know me don't realize I'm being funny. I don't emote very well, or at least in the way people expect. I think my therapist has a hard time "hearing" me. A lot of times I don't say what I'm trying to say, or say how I feel. I use examples, reasons, conclusions, or related issues instead of saying what I mean. I don't do it intentionally at all, I'm doing my best. She's getting better, but once and a while I have to explain the difference between what I said and what I was trying to communicate.

Nope, current t has never said this to me. In fact quite the opposite, she has said on more than one occasion that she thinks she hears my psyche sometimes - and I think it's true, because she has brought things up when I had 'thought' them at her prior to a session. Kinda woo-woo I know, but hey, that's just how we roll.

My long term T didn't see it as his issue but mine. He said I had to learn the language of feelings--I used to speak in a way that was pretty cryptic because speaking directly about feelings was embarrassing and terrifying.

None of my therapist ever said that to me, but I know they've put in extra effort to understand me. My last therapist went so far as to re-read the 13 long volumes of John Bowlby's attachment theory. Also, with her therapist case group she didn't bother talking about me. She sought out another therapist to help her get through me.

Stop dog, you are definitely not the average psychotherapy cliant. I would think the majority of therapists would not describe you as emotional, or one to easily share deep feelings about yourself.

Is this shockingly off-base?

My t and I are very similar and it's very easy for t to understand me. We understand each other very well. Part of it is we come from the same culture and have lots in common. Also I am never hesitant to speak what i think and feel. I am also very straight forward and direct ( unintentionally blunt at times- some of it is cultural and some just my personality). So no no one including my t said this to me.

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