My current therapist is the first one I have had that doesn't appear to rely on attachment in therapy. It has been a new learning experience for me to see how differently therapists work.

I am curious about peoples' thoughts on attachment based therapy? Did you find it was helpful, or hurtful? I like this therapist, and it is actually rather nice to go in there and just work, rather than focus on any attachment that may have developed for the therapist. I do miss that attachment at times, it just felt good. But other times, it felt pretty bad too.

I have found it helpful. I had never had any real attachments to people and certainly no healthy ones.

[BayBrony]

[QUOTE=Aloan;4878087]My current therapist is the first one I have had that doesn't appear to rely on attachment in therapy. It has been a new learning experience for me to see how differently therapists work.

I am curious about peoples' thoughts on attachment based therapy? Did you find it was helpful, or hurtful? I like this therapist, and it is actually rather nice to go in there and just work, rather than focus on any attachment that may have developed for the therapist. I do miss that attachment at times, it just felt good. But other times, it felt pretty bad too.[/QUOTE

How helpful or not helpful it is probably depends a lot and whether you have attachment issues and how you deal with them. For me while very painful at times overall its been helpful

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by Aloan

My current therapist is the first one I have had that doesn't appear to rely on attachment in therapy. It has been a new learning experience for me to see how differently therapists work.

I am curious about peoples' thoughts on attachment based therapy? Did you find it was helpful, or hurtful? I like this therapist, and it is actually rather nice to go in there and just work, rather than focus on any attachment that may have developed for the therapist. I do miss that attachment at times, it just felt good. But other times, it felt pretty bad too.

I think my T would simply work with the attachment if (and when) it arose. S/he seems to take things as they come w/out too much surprise or change in tempo. I'm developing an attachment now, but haven't told T...think it will come up in our next session. Considering my issues and questionable attachments in early childhood, I think attachment to T will be necessary to get through a successful therapy process. But you asked about attachment based therapy...my T just seems to incorporate what's needed in our therapy, not stuck on a specific type of therapy.

[Suraya]

My T doesn't work with attachment which I prefer. It would be really awkward if she ever brought it up. I just want to work on my PTSD, anxiety and depression, not have her talk about my feelings for her or anything. I do get dependent on her at times - it comes and goes and sometimes is so needy - but I think it's for the better that she's not an attachment therapist or I would get too caught up in that.

[bolair811]

I think it is / has been helpful for me. I had a very unstable childhood with a lot of unhealthy messages about the safety of relationships, attachment, boundaries, etc. leading to a raging fear of abandonment. That fear has led me to a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and never allowing myself to be involved in meaningful relationships with anyone. Learning to trust and develop a healthy attachment and stable relationship with my T has helped so much to lessen my fears and challenge my beliefs about being in authentic and intimate relationships with others.

[Crescent Moon]

I went into therapy having no idea that the root of my issues centered around attachment. I don't think my therapist is "attachment based" as in believing that attachment should always be part of therapy. But she did with me, and it was very healing for me.

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by Crescent Moon

I went into therapy having no idea that the root of my issues centered around attachment. I don't think my therapist is "attachment based" as in believing that attachment should always be part of therapy. But she did with me, and it was very healing for me.

Same here. I didn't realize that the severe attachment issues I have carried for decades was the cause of that feeling like the profoundly painful hole in my heart was eternal. It's not. Thanks to my t helping me to get out of insecure attachment that hole is filling and in turn I am able to progress and heal in other areas of life (still a work in progress, mind you). For me, attachment based therapy wound up being a life changer.

[stopdog]

When I first went, the therapist said she thought I avoid attachment and she kept telling me I needed to attach to her. She doesn't talk about it anymore. I never got a good explanation about it from her or that book by Wallin either.

[Pennster]

Maybe this is a dumb question, but what do therapists do if attachment issues show up in therapy and they aren't equipped to work with attachment? Do they just deflect it somehow? Or are they attempting to ensure they don't show up in the first place? In some ways I feel it's a bit like playing with fire because I don't see attachment issues as always predictable, but once they show up it seems to have the potential to get painful very quickly...

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by stopdog

When I first went, the therapist said she thought I avoid attachment and she kept telling me I needed to attach to her. She doesn't talk about it anymore. I never got a good explanation about it from her or that book by Wallin either.

My apologies if I missed something you've posted, but who is Wallin?

[stopdog]

Attachment in Psychotherapy by David J. Wallin, Ph.D.

There is also this one (I find both of these men - Wallin and Muller - to be extremely condescending and patronizing)
Trauma and the Avoidant Client: Attachment-Based Strategies for Healing by Robert T Muller

[musinglizzy]

I have both books, but have not read them yet, although I just started reading Trauma and the Avoidant Client, and I'm enjoying it already! I read through the first two chapters, then decided earlier to day to skip to the chapter on therapeutic relationships. After that I believe are chapters on transference and counter transference. I think this book is going to be a great read, I can tell already!