Do Therapists Have Favorites?

Yes, they do.

i would suspect that they do. as far as being my Ts favorite, i dont know. i think he enjoys working with everyone for the most part. i do feel a bit special since i am his longest client , ( 5+ years). when he resigned from the residential treatment center that he was the clinical director of, and i was his patient there, he called me and told me he was resigning but that he will see me in his new private practice and he wouldnt abandon me. he didnt offer that to anyone else. so i felt special to him.

I think it would only be logical that they would have favorites and not so favorites. Just human nature.

I think they do. Or they have at least clients who they like a bit more than other clients.
If you're in group therapy or in-patient, you can see how some T's treat one client different than an other client. I've seen it.

I was talking to my T about this. There was some stuff that upset me and I told her I want to be her favorite.
When we discussed my thoughts/feelings furthur, she said something like ''I don't know if T's even have favorite'' I don't know how a favorite would look like''. Something like that.
My T didn't say if she has s favorite clients. She talked a bit around the subject. Saying things like all clients are different and that's what makes my job so fun/interesting, if all clients would be ''easy'' and just say what's on their mind, that would make her job too easy and not really challanging.

She said something like that. My T would say if she has favorites. I doubt that. She must like some clients more than other clients. She's a human (as far as I know). Maybe she avoided that because I'm not her favorite and she doesn't want to lie? Or she has been teach to not express her opinion about the client to the client?

One of my thoughts was ''if she would really dislike me, she wouldn't have ask me to come with her to her new workplace''. Her reaction to that was: ''I think a T, so not me but just in general, I think a T would ask someone they really dislike to move as the only client with them to their new workplace''. So my T doesn't say what she thinks, no she talk about T's in general. So annoying. But I'm a bit too afraid to aks ''but what do YOU think?''.

I want to be my T's favorite, or at least one of the clients she likes most. I've been her longest clients. I moved with her to her new workplace, twice. She's my favorite and best T. I want to be her current favorite client. It would hurt if I would find out that I'm nothing other than a paycheck to her. I'm already doubting if she even cares. She does a good job as a T, but does she cares about me? Even a little bit? I'm also wondering if she isn't getting sick of me. Lately I've been having a bit more ''feelings'' towards her. Being agry because she's a bit late because of the client before me. Thought I was more angry at the client than at T. And now I've anger towards her, but I haven't express it yet. If I do, I'm worried she will get enough of me and doesn't want to take me back after she comes back from maternityleave (if I want her back, I don't know that yet).

I think they do have favorites. I doubt I'm one of my T's favorites, but I also don't think she dislikes me. It would be awesome if I was one of her favorites, or to know that she looked forward to seeing me each time. I think she has said that she looked forward to seeing me when we were talking on the phone a couple of times, but I don't know if she really meant that or if it was just a thing to say at the end of a conversation. I just hope she doesn't dread our sessions.

I'm sure they do. I just hope they are professional enough to work equally with each client. I'm a teacher and I always have favorite students. sometimes it's hard to work with the "tough" students, but I have to be a professional and give them the same attention as my other students - sometimes even more.

I feel like they can't help but like some clients better than others, but ideally, they wouldn't let that affect how they treat them.

My T hasn't said I'm a "favorite," but she has said that I'm a good client because I actually am willing to do the hard work that therapy can take (while some clients just want her to magically fix everything for them).

Our marriage counselor recently commented that he, H, and I have "a good working relationship," in talking about how he gets anxious/concerned about meeting with some clients. And he's actually said on a couple occasions, "I like you guys!"

When I was having intense transference issues for MC, my T was asking me if I wanted to know whether I was "his favorite." I was like, "I'm sure I'm probably not his favorite, but I'd like to think I'm at least in the top third." I think that probably is the case, but for him I suspect it may be because our minds work rather similarly. So he sees some of himself in me (like he'll say, "I do that, too" in response to something I say, and he's shared that he also has an anxiety disorder. And other stuff). Plus he mostly works with teenagers, so I'm/we're probably easy compared to some of them. :-) Then again, I've had moments where I've been rather challenging to him, like when we had a misunderstanding that hurt me, and I kept saying I was OK with things, then the next week would need to talk about them again. And he easily could have tried to refer me after I shared about the whole transference thing (particularly since we're in marriage counseling and it was initially erotic), but he didn't.

OK, I'm totally rambling--think I'm just trying to figure things out in my own head by typing...

Of couse they do prefer some patients over others.
I tend to not think too much about this because it's incredibly painful. I get jealous and it's excrutiating because I want to be her favourite of course.
I'm sure I'm not though. I'm challenging, sometime I barely talk, I'm angry, I'm very depressed. Not exactly fun for her.

I have come across several therapist blogs where they do admit to having some clients they like more than others, so yes, most of them probably have "favourites" (even if they wouldn't admit to it!).

I certainly never had any aspirations to be the favourite, but with my uni therapist I have to wonder if I am. For example, she told me that she won't usually respond to emails, but that she responds to mine because I'm "precious" to her. And there was one time she had to cancel a session, and the week after she said that she feels like we have a very special relationship and she felt bad that she wasn't there for me the previous week.

She has also told me that it is an honour and a privilege to work with me, that she's so glad she gets to do it, and that she hopes she can continue to do so for a very long time. She loves working with me, she says, and she tells me she's proud of me for being willing to do the hard work. She gets frustrated with me, but only because she can't "get through" to me and make me see how "precious" I am.

A few times she has told me that she thinks about me between sessions, and that she often worries about me. She's also said that she wants me to be her girl and that she loves me, so you know… there's that.

Does all of this mean that I'm her "favourite"? I don't know. She does say that she appreciates how she is able to connect with me, and that she feels like she can be real and honest with me. According to her, the world needs people like me (which I really don't think is true, but ah well!).

She does seem to be a caring and nurturing person in general, though, so I'm sure she is loving towards all of her students and other clients. I guess it is inevitable that therapists will bond with certain people, they're only human like the rest of us, but I'm convinced that my uni therapist treats everyone with warmth and kindness, and is fond of every person she works with.

Yes, I bet they do, and I'm pretty sure I'm not one of them and I think about how my T probably acts with the ones that he does like and I get so discouraged and angry.

Do you think therapists have favorite (and least favorite) clients? Discuss.

Wow! That sounds like a lot! Are you comfortable with that amount of attention from your T? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it--nothing like that!--I just think having T bend the rules for me, telling me I'm special, that she worries about me outside of session...On the one hand it sounds very flattering and pleasant, on the other kind of...suffocating. I'd worry it would make me (unhealthily) dependent.

Maybe I wouldn't want to be a favorite, after all

Just because my ex T did things with me which she said she had never done with another client doesn't mean I was her favourite though.
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Yet I know I wasn't one of her favourites, but was likely a challenging client. This is because she told me she would get frustrated and irritated with me due to my defenses and my anxious rapid speech. She also said she felt overwhelmed with my letters and issues raised. And she also said she felt frustrated and lost because she couldn't devise a treatment plan for me.

Maybe I was the client she dreaded most?

I'm sure Ts all have some clients they like better than others.

My T means so much to me and plays a huge role in my life right now so it would be nice to know that I'm important to her too. I'm not sure being the "favorite" is what I want...Plus, I doubt I'm her favorite since I'm always so serious in session...I would be content knowing that I mean something to her too, that I'm not "just another client". I think I'm probably her most consistent client though, we only had 3 weeks all of last year that we didn't meet and it was because I was out of town.

They sure do. Mine favored a prettier client. So much so that he risked his career to please her. He would do it again too because he has no scruples.

Oh, not at all! I am not comfortable with that amount of attention from anyone, and she knows it. I don't feel like I deserve it, which I think makes her want to give it to me even more. I'm sure she just wants to love me until I can love myself or something like that!

We are currently working through all of it in our sessions, because I have tried to quit my mentoring with her a couple of times recently. I feel so much despair about it, and just want to protect myself from how vulnerable it makes me feel, which made me want to run away from her. It kind of scares me, because I can't stand the thought of losing her one day and I just want to keep her forever, which she is aware of at this point as I've finally told her (jeez, did that make me feel pathetic!).

I feel quite ambivalent about it, because I do love her, and the fact that she makes me feel like I am worth something is what saved me this summer when I felt like I had no one else to turn to. But at the same time I don't know what to do with all of her kindness and compassion, because I'm not used to it and I don't think I should be on the receiving end of it. I think that's why I probably need it?

I'm sure some people are easier than others. Just the same as a class of kids. But they all deserve the same attention, as hard as it is

I would agree with the others who have said it's only human nature to have "favorites". As to why a T would have a favorite would be different for the individual T, I would guess. Some would like a "challenge", some like "easy" clients, whatever it is, it's as individual as asking their favorite flavor of ice cream.
I don't think it should affect the therapy itself, if the T is a "good" T. I would think that if feelings towards a client came up for a T, they would (or should) work with a supervisor or their own T on that issue, whatever it is.

My T, during our annual review, said she enjoys working with me, and I'm interesting and a challenge, and a few other things. Does that mean I'm her favorite? No way. But it was certainly nice to hear she likes to work with me! I know I don't like being with me a lot of the time...

Maybe you weren't her favorite client for 'it's Monday morning and I have a hangover and oh God I wish everyone would just cancel,' but she must have enjoyed the challenge. People who don't usually just sort of check out. They don't run over time or put that much emotional energy into treatment.

Yikes! I can imagine feeling the same thing in that situation! Do you have another T to talk to about this? Have you ever thought about getting a consult from someone else?

I started thinking about that question ever since I started seeing my T (a year ago). I'm a perfectionist, and a huge people pleaser. I get so upset if someone I like doesnt like me back. My T has mentioned multiple times that I am an "ideal client" and an "ideal student/child". It makes me feel good about myself when I hear that. Like others have said, I'm sure that T's have favourites but try to limit the amount and keep it professional because if they liked and disliked clients and gave their treatments based on that, it would be very unethical and wrong. Just like we have our favourites, they have theirs!

And I think it is important to remember that "favorites" doesn't in any way imply that the therapist hates all the rest. It isn't nearly that black and white.

I have "favorite" students for a variety of reasons. It doesn't even necessarily mean I "like" them the most as much as it may be they intrigue me or challenge me in a way that I enjoy. And my "favorites" change from time to time too. It's a fluid thing really. I suspect it is that way for pretty much everyone, including therapists.

When I think about my three sons, they actually are each a favorite but for different things. For instance, my oldest son is my favorite son to discuss philosophical things with -- he's just that kind of thinker. My middle son is my favorite son to go shopping with and also the one I probably talk to most personally and deeply (kind of both ends of depth there I guess). My youngest son is my favorite so to share my love of music and learning with; our brains are so much alike that way. I would guess therapists kind of have favorite things about different clients: this one has a great sense of humor; this one is the one who provides the greatest professional challenge and I find that stimulating; this one has a really kind heart; this one has a great mind, etc.

Then maybe I am my private therapist's "favourite" as well because she almost always lets the session run over those 50 minutes. Last week she let me babble on for 70! And because I am often 5-10 (or even 15!) minutes late, she lets me stay longer because of that. She lurves me.

My private therapist has to hear about this all the time. I feel really sorry for her. In this week's session she actually started laughing because she didn't know what to say in response to my uni therapist's behaviour. She is very baffled by it, and says it sounds like my uni therapist is "enmeshed" in the relationship she has with me.

I really don't know anymore. I guess I'm just going to try to work through it with my uni therapist and see how that goes.

Not related to the thread topic, but just gotta say I like Argonautomobile quoting as many replies as possible to respond to them individually. I know it takes more time and effort but I find it quite validating.

Sometimes I make a post and I'm not sure if the thread starter even saw it, or what the OP thinks of it. Just wanted to say thanks, made me happy.

Is it a good thing to be a therapist's favorite? I would find that to be hard to keep up. My dog handles it fine, though, as dogs do. She said he is her favorite canine visitor.

Is it a good thing to be a therapist's favorite? I would find that to be hard to keep up. My dog handles it fine, though, as dogs do. She said he is her favorite canine visitor.