[SarahSweden]

Today I´ve had the fourth of fifth session with my new T and perhaps it´s too early too expect too much but I feel that I´m just reporting things to her. She wanted me to tell her a bit about my relations, to my family and so forth, and I´m absolutely willing to do so but now after the session I just feel empty and disappointed.

She´s within psychiatry, she doesn´t have her own practise, and I often feel in a hurry when I see her. I want to tell her things but I also want to feel a deeper connection. Besides talking about my family I told her about my suicide thoughts (no plans) and she knows about them from the first time I saw her.

But it feels like she´s so accustomed to hear from clients about suicide thoughts, as she handles a lot of trauma patients, that I don´t feel supported. It´s like telling her I had the flu during the week or something like that.

Of course I know I could talk to her but she´s the only T in this facility so I can´t get a new T that easily anyway. I also don´t want to give up already.

But the thing that we talked about today, I could more or less have told her in writing, I didn´t feel emotionally supported.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? For how long should I be prepared to wait before I feel a more deeper connection? Any other advise?

I took ages to feel a connection- like, I don't know, maybe 80 or so sessions? . Im not really sure. I don't connect to people easily though. If you normally connect to people very quickly then this probably isn't the right advice, but I would say stick with it - you're still very early in the process.

I feel kind of the same at times, I talk to my T but I'm often not very connected to her. I think it is me, not her. I think I don't expect her to respond to me, and I fear rejection. I think the connection will take a long time. I've talked to her about the fact that I feel that I could be talking to a stranger. I think it can't be rushed, and that even though there is so much to say it is better to take it really slowly and concentrate more on connecting in the early days and less on telling things.

[Myrto]

It took me three months to develop a connection with my therapist. It's not super long but it's not short either, something like 12 sessions. If this is only your 4th or 5th session, give it some more time. But also, trust your gut.

[SkyBlueSue]

It does feel kind of like you are just reporting to someone, almost like me going to my family doc saying what is wrong with me this week, but it takes time to build a relationship with a therapist. This is a complete stranger.

She has to get to know more about you, feel what and why you have come to her for, what you want to work on, therefore by telling her about yourself she can start to work with you. It took me a good three months to start to trust her as I have a huge problem with trust, so to even let her into my personal world was a biggy.

Therapy sure isn't for the faint at heart!

[caseygirl]

Since trust is a huge issue with me, I did feel like all I was giving her was tidbits of my life in bullet form. Some of the issues I didn't want to delve into as they were so painful, so we didn't really start our work until about 3 months into therapy.

[SarahSweden]

I really hope that you´re right, that it´ll take some time and that she´ll be more attuned and more focused. To feel a person is just collecting facts about you is depersonalising and doesn´t build trust at all.

[unaluna]

Three months is fast! I take three years!

[Yellowbuggy]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

To feel a person is just collecting facts about you is depersonalising and doesn´t build trust at all.

Collecting facts is an important part of the intake process. She needs to know your history so she can help you.