T doesn't understand

T doesn't understand the crisis I'm in today.

My walls are crumbling down and I feel suffucated by the pain. I'm overwhelmed from a bunch of unpaid bills, scared, thoughts of suicide, and I just feel like giving up.

I talked to my T on the phone earlier and got calmed down. And then, later on something else triggered me into falling apart again.

So I called and asked T for a session if I could come up with the money and he emailed me back and said that even if I could come up with the money, that he has no available slots.

So now I'm in this stressful, painful, life-changing position in my life and it feels like the world is crumbling on me and I can't stop crying.

And I was supposed to start a job this week and that is being put off until next week. Because I was supposed to take a physical but didn't have the money.

And someone wrote me a nasty email this morning when I asked for help with some bills and that is what triggered this whole episode to begin with. Wait, actually, it's probably the past due bills that are triggering this.

I've had panic attacks today over the unpaid bills. I'm behind on my car insurance, life insurance, among other bills.

I just feel like I want to die.

I really, really know about that kind of overwhelm. I also have difficulties with bills and general executive function when I'm in a period of serious anxiety or depression. It sucks. I'm sorry.

Are you a list-maker? Sometimes in those times I make a list of tasks and try to accomplish the easiest, least unpleasurable ones and that helps a little. I find it easiest to start with stuff that can be done online, then by phone, snail mail and lastly by in-person meeting.

Is there a way you could set up minimal payments like £10 a month? I know it's not a lot but it's still something. That's what I'm having to do with a £600 water bill.

Is there a service like citizens advice that could be a middle man who could help you potentially set this up? I'm sorry I'm not more helpful, I myself tend to be crippled by the pressure of debt hanging over my head. It's hard for anyone, but more so when you have other things going on too.

And I hope you find the money to see your T when he has a slot available. and your physical, I hope that goes well. xx

How much do you need? Not for appointment to see useless pdoc but to pay the most important bill? Like to get physical?

Call these creditors and talk about a plan. Tell them how much you can pay. See if they help you.

Also perhaps bankruptcy is the way to go. I know it's hard but people survive it. My fiancée had bankruptcy few years ago. He survived, lost his house etc it's still tough as he is still dealing It years later but it's getting better. I never had bankruptcy but I work two jobs 70 hours a week so I don't have to do that. Finances are huge source of anxiety for us. I hear you.

Actually my t gave me financial/job related advice when I struggled .

Now why do you need life insurance? Do you have minor kids? If not then I'd stop worry about it and focus on other more important bills. Forget about life insurance

Do you have any family? Anyone? Church? Are you in the US?

Please don't spend your last money on seeing your t/pdoc.

My heart goes to you

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Are you all right?

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Sometimes those guys are just thick.

I guess the question is, do you understand? T cannot help with those things. Yes be could help you in the long term with tolerating life's events.

It could be true, he simply doesn't have a spot. If you're not a regular client them there won't be a fixed slot for your ams perhaps any monies you could raise would be better served in other ways right now?

I can't comment on the tone of the email. We can see rejection as an attack when we're down.

I hope the job works out.

I went to the session and left and cried and cried.

I told him that I missed the way things used to be. It's hard when T's offer things and then take them away.

My next session is April 6.

I'm sad that I pawned my TV but the cable got shut off anyways so it really doesn't matter.

I just feel afraid overall.

. I personally feel you'd be better off using money on essential things like bills. Food. Car payment. Physical. Does your t know you are financially unable to afford him? Why is he keep seeing you rather than finding better options for you? More affordable and helpful, county mental health ? Can you instead of seeing him pay for a session with financial advisor who can help you device a plan? He sucks. He has no mercy or compassion.

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