[LesFleursDuMal]

I feel like my T hates me, like he's so sick of me and I'm just wasting his time. I've been feeling like that for a while now and my session today was awful because of sharing difficult things while feeling like he just can't stand me. So I decided that next session I will say everything I feel about it. Did any of you ever said to your therapist that you felt like he didn't like you or hated you ? How did he react ?

[ilikecats]

When I first started seeing my T I was worried she might not like me because of her constant lateness. I told her this, and she assured me she didn't dislike me, and that she was always late for everything. I think it'd be helpful for you to share your feelings with your T.

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[Chummy]

Yes. Somewhere last year I told my T that I'm worried she's such of me and that I must be her least favorite client.

She didn't responded with "I don't hate you" or "I like seeing you" or something like that. We talked about a why I think that and such. She talked more about T's in general. Like; all clients are different, that's what makes this job interesting.
Such things. I know she doesn't hate me, but I wish she would say something about me that starts with "I". I want to hear her opinion about me. I want to know if she likes me.
I've talked more times about this, but I'm afraid to asks her what SHE thinks.

[stopdog]

I don't think the therapist hates me. I assume she is mostly neutral about me - no real reason for the woman to get worked up about me one way or the other. She is paid for her time and I don't imagine she would bother with any strong emotion over me at all.

No i havent but my apt was scheduled out underneath me. when i showed up they tried to make it right the shrink by wanting me to split an hours time slot. i said no walked out and cancelled them as a therapist after that. it all is relevant. they are just people human like you or i. if you feel it is not working or it doesnt click for you then by all means get another t cause otherwise you feel like you are throwing your money away,. tc and blessings

Originally Posted by LesFleursDuMal

I feel like my T hates me, like he's so sick of me and I'm just wasting his time. I've been feeling like that for a while now and my session today was awful because of sharing difficult things while feeling like he just can't stand me. So I decided that next session I will say everything I feel about it. Did any of you ever said to your therapist that you felt like he didn't like you or hated you ? How did he react ?

Yup. All part of the work

[LesFleursDuMal]

I will tell him, as I feel it's really messing with my head and keeping me from making any progress but I'm really scared of his reaction. What if he gets mad at me ? Or tell me he doesn't have to like me anyway ? I don't know if I'll be able to handle it

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[RedSun]

Good luck. As mouse says, I agree it's probably a big part of the work.
But scary!
I think that I annoy my T. Around Christmas, I decided that she was showing me, by being late, thinking I'd cancelled when I hadn't, that she didn't want me as a client. So, I went in and said this. I was ready to end, that session.
My T said that she hadn't intended to give that message, that she wanted to be my T as long as I wanted her to....it was quite reassuring. But I still think I annoy her.

[awkwardlyyours]

Yeah, I did directly ask her at one point -- she very mistakenly assumed that I was attached / dependent on her way way way more than I was (she'd thought I was taking major decisions like taking a job in the area just to continue with her) and that seemed to freak her out (which I totally understand and have sympathy for).

I do have a finely tuned radar for anger / irritation (thanks to my upbringing) and so, I can say rather confidently that I'm almost never wrong in detecting this in people (I fail with reading other emotions but not this stuff).

So, I asked her outright -- she went on and on about how my reading it as anger was really about my issues etc (seriously, we spent the better part of 4 sessions on this -- craziness but I was in this mood of feeling like a dog with a bone!). And, of course she countered with how someone could read it as flattery blah blah that anyone would take such a big decision (like making a career choice) for them etc.

She basically flatly denied that she was angry / irritated and said some milquetoast thing like she was 'curious' (and not angry) blah blah -- that answer was just such a ridiculous deflection that I didn't push it (although I did want to tell her to please not insult my intelligence with such a ridiculously obvious lie but oh well....).

But yeah, I think that last part is the sort of stuff about her that chafes at me at times -- I wish she'd not counter my questions with what seem like very obvious deflections. I'd greatly appreciate some effort going into being "lied" to

ETA: Sorry, I see your question was about 'hate' -- when this happened, I did think she disliked me (hate may be a strong word).