[emlou019]

Hi All

This is my first thread here, after commenting, hugs etc for a while. But finally got the confidence to step up and start a thread of my own. So here goes....

I was just wondering how people have gotten on and felt after finishing their therapy? Were there any thoughts and feelings about returning, or if you'd be able to cope alone?

I suggested recently to my t, that I'd like to end my therapy. Which in some ways is positive as I've had past traumas and abrupt endings. So to feel that an 'end' doesn't always mean its going to be a negative, is definitely an experience for me. Maybe it has to do with how I am reacting to it too. I feel acceptance. Where as in the past I would have avoided endings like the plague. I'm sure even endings in therapy have their own process, like grieving. Especially if you have grown attached.

I think I'm in a reflective mood...

[brillskep]

I am still working with my first therapist and he's changed so much and suddenly for the worse, that the ending will not be a good one. I have facilitated positive endings for others, but have never experienced one in my therapy. I wish I had that. On the other hand, I had a positive ending (as much as circumstances allowed) with a former friend when our friendship became toxic. It was mutually agreed, very assertive and caring on both sides, and I am thankful to him for allowing me to experience that. Yes, I grieved, and in ways I still sometimes regret it (this ending happened at the end of 2013). I occasionally doubt my decision, but it was the best I could have done at the time and I remind myself of that. I have a bittersweet feeling when I remember it - he was very dear and close to me and I sometimes miss our chats, his support, etc. but it is not overwhelming when I think of it, normally. Even in the first few months after, I felt like it was the healthiest decision I could have made under the given circumstances. Not sure this helps you since it's about a friend and not a therapist ... I honestly think that positive endings are wonderful life experiences to have, even though they do involve loss. I think they can teach us that we can move on without the past losing its value but also not become stuck in the past.

[emlou019]

Firstly, thank you for your reply brillskep and sharing your experiences.

I'm sorry to hear that about your therapist. That must be difficult for you, especially if you had created a relationship there.

Yes, I think it has been an awakening for me and the therapy too. My childhood and of loosing my mother traumatically had caused me to become stuck. Working through that trauma and having a positive ending has allowed me to be able to have faith in moving forwards, help me grow as a person. Not fearing life.

[Paintedsmiles]

My T sessions ended when I had to relocate after maternity leave and I didn't cope with it well. They would have ended two weeks later anyway because you only get a limited number of sessions in the Nhs. I really missed her and felt myself trying to find a reason to convince them to let me travel two hours each way just to attend new sessions. When I finally got to speak to her she said she couldnt have me back because she had decided to leave the practise. My new t is now threatening to put an end to our sessions because I'm not opening up enough for her to help me. I can't talk to her about missing my old t because she knows her!

It's good that you are able to terminate t on your own terms. That shows real courage and is probably the best way to go. Good luck xx

[emlou019]

Hi paintedsmiles

Thank you for your reply.

You sound quite low and not really sure where and who to turn too. The situation about your first t has stuck with you and it sounds like you didn't get closure from that. And now your new t is making you feel pressured and causing you more anxiety. Do you have an option of going private at all rather than nhs? So that you would be able to feel less pressure and be able to express yourself more without them knowing one another.

I think I came to a point in my therapy where I feel I am able to cope without t. I have off days, but am giving myself time.

[Paintedsmiles]

Thanks for your response, I don't want to hijack your thread, but no, I really can't afford to go private right now. I can barely keep the roof over our heads!

Xx