What if you traded places and treated your T?

I'd like to know more about T's mother. Why does T tell me she and her Mom didn't have a good fit either? What was your childhood like, T? Where do you feel it in your body? Close your eyes and go inside. What seems like a good place to start today? Let's talk about your marriage too.

What would you like to know if you and your T's roles were reversed?

Honestly, I don't think my T is need of therapy. He has his quirks, but nothing so obvious that I can see him needing long-term therapy. He has a phobia of snakes; so do I. Not something that really needs therapy. I'm really not interested in the inner workings of his mind. He's not that much of a mystery to me, nor that fascinating.

I'd sit there and wait quietly until/while he talked.

What's up with your taste in hair and clothes? It's like you don't want to dress or wear your hair appropriate to your age. Are you having difficulty with the concept of aging? Etc.

(Yeah, I'd be a terrible therapist.)

I have no desire to know about her childhood or personal life. Or anyone's really.

(Another reason I'd be a terrible therapist.)

I think everyone could benefit from therapy. Actually I wasn't thinking this thread had to be totally serious, either.

Mmmm, I often thought about this. I don't think I could treat my t. She is very contrary and gets frustrated with me. I would like to tear her like she has treated me, very badly but I know I could never be that cruel to anyone!
I would like to know why t os so contrary and if she is happy with her husband. I don't think she is very happy and she tales all of her anger out on those around her which is very sad. I would like to give her a hug and tell her everything will be ok.

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Oh god, i can't imagine therapizing my therapist. I know a bit about her past like an eating disorder and a few things from her childhood that relate to me, but i don't want to know more intimate details of her life. She shares enough with me (and sometimes she rambles...) that i have no curiosities to know more.

Do you still have sex?
What's your diagnosis?

Ah, no. For one thing, I'll never be a T, for another I would get really resentful about having to take care of him. He's supposed to take care of me dammit!

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My t had similar upbringing as me as well as has similar life style. The only difference is she stayed married to the same person for life while my first marriage didn't work out. We aren't that different. We also deal with similar issues ( adult kids living very away and missing them). There is no mystery

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I would love to know more things about my T that I would be more likely to be able to know if I was her T. But I would also be a terrible T. But one thing that would be great is that I wouldn't have boundaries around hugging, so that would totally become a possibility. And it'd be great to get to be nosy and know more personal things about her.

At one point during the first year, while I saw her in person the first time, one day I had the idea to sit in HER chair instead of on the couch just to see what happened. I lost my nerve and never did it. This thread makes me again think about doing that - I have a feeling after all this time of being her client, that she wouldn't miss a beat - she'd probably sit on the couch and start acting like me!

Before breaks we actually sometimes do this...I mean I dont really act T-ish but I get to ask whatever questions I want about her life/past. I guess maybe shed refuse to tell me something but so far not. She is leaving for a trip at the end of next week so on my session Wednesday I am going to be asking her about how she got into yoga, and whether she has body image issues and if so how she copes with them.
I don't have the weight of an intense session to deal with while she is gone, listening to her talk relaxes me, and we usually end up both feeling great about it.

Why do you always wear white, black or shades of white and black? Like seriously, summer, winter, fall, spring?

And, are you really drinking tea from McDonalds or gas station coffee over 4 hours? Or, is there something else in those cups?

Also, what deep dark trauma has prevented you from realizing in all these years that Skype is not pronounced as Sky-pee?

Not sure I agree with everyone benefiting from therapy (but that's a whole other topic), but I know you were just inviting a fun thread. Just can't think of anything I would really want to ask him. I think he was pretty open with me, so we had some pretty amusing conversations as it was. Neither of us held back much, including lots of giving each other a hard time just in jest. I tended to not have a filter with him (and him not much with me).

I have so many things I would love to know about my T. I would not want to be her therapist though. She seems really put together.

It would be fun to sit in her chair and see what she does. I don't have the nerve to do that though.

I'd say "hey you couldn't pay me enough to listen to this ****" lol

I think it would be really interesting to trade places with my private therapist. She's so calm, and seems too nice, somehow. Like, no one can be that nice! I would like to see what's behind all of that. I don't know much about her, but I do know that her best friend had a brain tumour and died at 42, which can't have been that many years ago because I believe she is still in her 40s. She told me about her friend's death because I mentioned that my aunt died of a brain tumour when she was 50. She's also told me that she grew up in a dysfunctional family and that she was a lot like me in that she liked to observe people, listen to their conversations, and that she was all about intellect and tried to hide her emotions. She says she has worked to change that so her two sons will be more emotionally healthy and it has made her much happier as well. I'd like to talk to her about how she achieved that.

My uni therapist is much more open about her life. However, it is obvious that she is divorced and that it happened sometime in the last couple of years, but she has never said anything about it. I've just picked up on little things that very much point towards that being the case. For example, she doesn't wear a ring, but I know she was married because she did tell me something about meeting her "husband" once. Now she only refers to him in relation to her children, as "their father". Also, I once gave her my favourite example of a Norwegian word that has more than one meaning (most of them do): I told her about "gift" which can mean either "poison" or "married", and she laughed loudly, then proceeded to say something like, "well, actually…" whilst rolling her eyes slightly. I'm not sure why, exactly, but I really want to ask her about her marriage and what happened to it. I hope he didn't cheat on her or something like that. I really hope he wasn't mean to her in any way. (I have thought too much about this, because I love her and I'm pathetic. )

I know she has been in therapy herself, because she's told me a little about that. I know she has been on and off medication, and that she's struggled with severe anxiety, particularly when it comes to her children. She used to be almost paralysed with fear as she would come up with what she refers to as elaborate "fantasies" about what could be happening to them when they weren't with her (if they were at school or similar). She imagined the worst, and had to take something for that as well, to calm down. She says she still does it sometimes when her daughter (who by the sounds of it is like, 19) stays out late, but that she is able to stop it now before it gets out of control. I guess I would like to ask her more questions about that. I know most parents worry about their kids, but this sounds extreme, and I'd be interested to hear exactly why she is like that, if maybe something in her past has caused it.

I would also like to ask her why the f*** she can't just admit that she's dyslexic. Only a dyslexic person could write some of the emails she has sent me! Also, she's always talking about her dyslexic son, and I'm just like, HELLO. The most hilarious thing was when she told me that she didn't learn to read until she was seven, and then claimed it was because she was anxious about it. RIGHT. AND WHY WAS THAT? "But now I absolutely love to read." Because no dyslexic person likes to read? My best friend is very dyslexic, and she studied English literature for her BA!

LOL! Honestly. The woman didn't show up for any of her A-Level exams, because she didn't feel confident enough to take them, which probably wasn't uncommon back then as learning difficulties weren't diagnosed to the extent that they are now.

Here's an excerpt from an actual conversation we had:

Her: "I like to write using different colours." *brings out pencil case full of coloured pens*
Me: "That's very common with dyslexics."
Her: "Oh really? I just like it because I'm like my four-year-old niece that way."
Me: "Right. Of course."

For someone so self-aware, she is deep in denial on this one. The only other adult I know who likes to write with coloured pens is my best friend, and she has explained that it's because it helps her spelling and processing. Black writing on white paper is not dyslexic-friendly.

There are several other signs of dyslexia. She is often badly organised, doesn't use apostrophes when she writes (although her spelling is better in emails than in texts), her vocabulary is extensive but she often misspells very simple words, and she is much better at expressing herself orally. And holy shat is she good at reading people! Feels like she's inside my head sometimes. She's very intuitive, which is what makes her such a great therapist, I suppose. Dyslexics have so many good qualities, and are often very intelligent, which she definitely is. So really, I want to know why she denies being dyslexic when she so obviously is!

Good grief I need to stop now.

I think I would have to put my hands over my ears and shout LA LA LA because the thought of knowing about his darkest secrets or sex life freaks me out completely.

I'd only want to know whether she has ADHD, as she joked about having it once. She's disorganized, but not hyperactive.

Besides that, I have enough of my own issues without trying to fix hers.

I'd be very kind and attentive. I get him to confess all misbehaviors. Then I would report him to the police. I'd send him his termination letter while he's in prison.

I've thought about this a lot just lately. I'd like to know about all of her past.
She's mentioned things that relate to my therapy and I'd love to know the details. I was thinking of writing a letter of questions to see what I was aloud to know about her and her life and ask her to write her reply.
Our personalities are very similar and I often think if I met her as a stranger we'd be good friends. Obviously that can't happen because of boundaries!


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I have actually thought about this before. T and her mother have always had a strained relationship. Her mom was verbally abusive growing up. Over the years I have said things about my father that seemed to touch a nerve. T always handled things professionally and continued with the conversation but I knew it bothered her by her body language and facial expressions.

I would HATE to be a t and don't want to know anything about ts life; however, I would like to ask her why she dresses in skirts so short they ride half way up her thighs when she sits, and shirts so low cut that I have to look at way too much cleavage. Oh, and by the way, how in the world did you get such big boobs!

T has said he can be a bit paranoid and has to catch himself. I would like to know more about that.