Couch 111 - The Simple, Clear, and Informative Couch

Apr 06, 2016, 06:17 PM

Today I am going to play Monopoly with my youngest, try and tidy up the storage room, I just stand at he door usually and throw stuff in, and tke my eldest to get her travel shots as she goes to Vietnam in September.

Apr 06, 2016, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

Need some support. Well grandma is back at the facility, unhappily is seems, and not eating enough. We've concluded that when she passed out she thought she was finally dying. She has been ready for a while kinda sad but dont blame her at 94 and virtually no quality of life...I'd be ready too. The tears are coming and going tonight. Ugh! This may sound strange but please send peaceful vibe or pray for her peace if thats more your style. Thanks.

I'll keep her in my prayers that she finds peace and rest, and I'll also keep you in my prayers as you go through this journey with your grandma.

unaluna · Apr 06, 2016, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

It was more like a pun + Spoonerism.

Also you got the book wrong.

Yeah but on porpoise!

Eta - why do you keep setting me up?! Okay, i'll marry you! Sheesh

atisketatasket · Apr 06, 2016, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Yeah but on porpoise!

Eta - why do you keep setting me up?! Okay, i'll marry you! Sheesh

Don't you know I'm your straight man?

CantExplain · Apr 06, 2016, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BunYip

CE are you taking your meds

Good to see you so happy anyway.

I am indeed taking my meds, but I'm down to two a week. I don't know what's going on, but I like it!

CantExplain · Apr 06, 2016, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BunYip

Were they helpful?

Yes. I found that anger wasn't my only option.

"There are alternatives to fighting" - Obi Wan Kenobi

CantExplain · Apr 06, 2016, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

Because they are stupid. I have medicaid since Sept.1 and now they are saying I was ineligible and "taking back" payments so I have more debt to wait to come in. F***ers! Seriously waiting 6 months and take everything back? What the hell? Someone wasnt doing their job and Im going to be penalized for it?!?!

That's awful! I hate Michigan too!

CantExplain · Apr 06, 2016, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

Feeling so useless and weird and like a loser.

((MKAC))

Can you be more specific?

CantExplain · Apr 06, 2016, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

snort. My T's response was 'no.' He also talks about how sex is a function of having loving feelings for many people. At first I was all

. When I am feeling loving, having sex is not what I think of doing. One thing was not really connected to the other at all for me until fairly recently. Makes me feel like a giant weirdo.

Strange. I thought all Ts accepted that sex can be used to express many emotions besides love.

CantExplain · Apr 06, 2016, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

As long as I am moping and not working anyway, I would like to do an informal couch poll. What makes each of you respond to a person in real life or on the forum with concern and compassion and an attempt to help? Sometimes I am totally flummoxed by who gets a huge response and who gets no response at all.

Two kinds of people get my support:
1. People who remind me of myself, and whom I greatly respect, eg your good self.
2. People who seem especially vulnerable and in need of support.

But when I'm in a supportive mood, I'll support anyone.

CantExplain · Apr 06, 2016, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

nah. Still a weirdo because I am the one using it to express rage.

Rage = arousal for me. Totally weird and creepy.

But not at all unusual, in spite of what your T might say.

CantExplain · Apr 06, 2016, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

Dolphins are footballers.... I'm confused.

Another reason they can't play baseball.

CantExplain · Apr 06, 2016, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

I think maybe it is because I have so very much rage that when I am actually experiencing, it feels like I have to DO something with it. Also with the CSA, there was a link between sexual acts and rage that T says tied them together in my psyche.

Anger often masks other emotions, eg fear. But if you feel that anger is the only safe emotion, it could even mask love. In which case it would be the sex that is real and the rage that is fake.

(I can spout psychobabble as well as any T!)

JustShakey · Apr 06, 2016, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

As long as I am moping and not working anyway, I would like to do an informal couch poll. What makes each of you respond to a person in real life or on the forum with concern and compassion and an attempt to help? Sometimes I am totally flummoxed by who gets a huge response and who gets no response at all.

So, is it the person who is searching for ways out of where they are? Struggling for answers and open to help? Looking for ways to open a closed door in their life, or searching for a window to open? Searching for light in what seems like total darkness?

The person who keeps bashing their head against the same closed door over and over, while insisting the door is actually open? The person who keeps bashing their head against the same closed door over and over, insisting they have no choice except to continue bashing? OR who just says they are not actually bashing their head at all even though to all appearances they are?

On the forum I usually respond to people I identify with, though I try to be careful that I am not over-identifying. If I have no idea what might help or if I am not in a communicative mood I'll just offer hugs.
I stay away from most threads on the main forum these days. More often than not I find myself getting frustrated. I accept that I'm just not in a place where I am capable of providing support in those cases.
In real life I keep people at a distance. Not good I know, but I'm working on it. I will help with concrete things like gas money and food, but it freaks me out to let people too close. I'm afraid they'll demand more of me than I have to give.

DelusionsDaily · Apr 06, 2016, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I'll keep her in my prayers that she finds peace and rest, and I'll also keep you in my prayers as you go through this journey with your grandma.

Thanks Lola. I really appreciate it. That's my biggest hope for her that finds some peace however that happens. I think when she finds peace I will. Mine shouldnt depend on her but it does.

Apr 06, 2016, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

But not at all unusual, in spite of what your T might say.

He never says I am weird. He talks about my responses being normal given the circumstances in which I grew up.

precaryous · Apr 06, 2016, 08:02 PM

Today has been a long day...many phone calls, many people coming and going...much anxiety for me. Arrrrrgh I'm trying to reduce my stress..but today was not the day.

Good outcome, though...I have a new washer and dryer...and oooo are they fancy looking!
And the washer doesn't leak! Ha! Score! They are large enough to accommodate my queen size comforter...I'm so happy!

Someone from church brought over another meal. They have really helped me! I told her thank you, I feel I am well enough to take over from here.

Lots of scheduling doctor appointments today..on the phone quite a bit. Scheduling physical therapy, blah! I hope it can include swimming or pool time. I could get excited about swimming exercise rehab!

I am keeping T in the loop about all the activity. I am looking forward to our planned session on Friday. The theme is safety, peace and comfort. Can you imagine a whole hour where you feel safe? Hurry, Friday!

divine1966 · Apr 06, 2016, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

Is there anyone here that paints? How did you learn? I bought an acrylic set wanna try it out but not sure where to start.

Hey I never come to this thread and accidentally came across this post! I paint. But not acrylic. I used to do oil and watercolor. Now I do dry medium usually ( graphite, colored pencil etc). My suggestion is to maybe take a class? Or online tutorial for starters?

Apr 06, 2016, 09:31 PM

The yankees are certainly playing some baseball tonight. 16 runs already. sheesh!

Apr 06, 2016, 09:37 PM

So one time when I had too much to drink I sent a facebook friend request to the guy I had a major crush on in high school. He accepted. Anyway I think he maybe once replied to one of my posts and that was a long time ago after I friended him. Today I posted something positive about being thankful for my coworkers and friends and he replied something about the glass being half full or something and I swear I almost giggled. Ha ha.

eta: I did refrain from replying "It's half full now that you replied to me!" I would have to down half a bottle of wine before I could do that though.

09:57 PM

On the Poem a day front: I started 2 different sonnets today and scratched them both out. Then I finished one of the poems I started to t. Then I wrote another one using no particular type. Then, I sat outside, closed my eyes, and imagined t reading the poem I finished. I am NOT giving it to her. Because I am a big fat dork!!

CantExplain · Apr 06, 2016, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

He never says I am weird. He talks about my responses being normal given the circumstances in which I grew up.

That's not very reassuring!

precaryous · Apr 07, 2016, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

As long as I am moping and not working anyway, I would like to do an informal couch poll. What makes each of you respond to a person in real life or on the forum with concern and compassion and an attempt to help? Sometimes I am totally flummoxed by who gets a huge response and who gets no response at all.

So, is it the person who is searching for ways out of where they are? Struggling for answers and open to help? Looking for ways to open a closed door in their life, or searching for a window to open? Searching for light in what seems like total darkness?

The person who keeps bashing their head against the same closed door over and over, while insisting the door is actually open? The person who keeps bashing their head against the same closed door over and over, insisting they have no choice except to continue bashing? OR who just says they are not actually bashing their head at all even though to all appearances they are?

Good question.
I am like JS in that I tend to respond to someone I identify with...
Sometimes I have to make sure I am in a good place myself before I respond to a thread. My goal (not always successful) is to try to be helpful and/or supportive.

I try to ask questions in an attempt to better understand what the poster is asking for or posting about. Sometimes I stop posting to a thread that has turned argumentative or if I feel any response from me will probably be unhelpful.

granite1 · Apr 07, 2016, 07:42 AM

omg i was browsing amazon last night to order some books and got on my face book to find they had posted all the books i looked at and downloaded so that everyone could see and comment . im so humiliated . all my friends on FB could see etc... how can they do that when i have that account linked to FB. what an fing morning already

DelusionsDaily · Apr 07, 2016, 07:50 AM

Hey couchies, how's it going? I actually got a good night sleep for the first time in over a week last night. Lets hope it stays that way tomorrow night after not taking Tegretol tomorrow morning. Hopefully it will be ok.
I actually feel reasonably good this morning! Yay! I've been so tired the last week from lack of sleep...I forgot what its like to feel refreshed in the morning.

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