Couch 111 - The Simple, Clear, and Informative Couch

(((QM)))

I spent most of today angry at my T for not being what I wanted him to be...

That sucks, it really does. Especially if T is the one "kind" person in your life who makes you feel seen, heard, cared for.

Because they are stupid. I have medicaid since Sept.1 and now they are saying I was ineligible and "taking back" payments so I have more debt to wait to come in. F***ers! Seriously waiting 6 months and take everything back? What the hell? Someone wasnt doing their job and Im going to be penalized for it?!?!

I love when you jump through all their stupid hoops, get approved, and then 6 months later they say "whoops, my bad, you weren't really eligible after all, but it's okay, we just redacted your benefits." Which is exactly what happened to me last week, sorry for the rant!

BB, how is your baby this morning? Thinking of you.

He finally pooped and is eating some hay. And acting like an aggressive @#$%head which means he is feeling better

Glad he pooped

I'm glad he's feeling better.

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Just heard that merle haggard passed away at 79. Same age my dad was when he passed in 2013. 80 seems to be a tough age to contemplate.

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No we beat the dolphins. They just have those itty bitty flippers and theyre not very good base runners!

Three o clock and still waiting on inspector gadget. I was up til midnite, then up at 5 am. At 9 am i wilted again. I could go live in my moms place if i get evicted here. I swear i was this close to a heart attack this morning. Just exhausted. I just have one more pathway to clear (that i dont use, but the firemen might), and to keep trying to de-cootie the bathroom. I did get some of the major poop cleaned up in there. Im a girl, how messy can i be?!

yay!!! :d:d:d:d

Totally wiped out, self destructive-ish and unable to focus after therapy. Cannot remember how to do the trigger thingie.


Feeling so useless and weird and like a loser. I actually told T about something I call rage sex, and asked him if he had ever had rage sex. And he answered. Not sure which of those things is weirder. Keep wishing I would just die somehow in a way that would not look like my fault. This is all just useless and I don't think it will ever get better better. if that makes sense.

(((Mkac))) Sounds like a poll! Im pretty sure my t has. I think his answer would be, when isnt it?? O course, that might say more about me than him.

snort. My T's response was 'no.' He also talks about how sex is a function of having loving feelings for many people. At first I was all . When I am feeling loving, having sex is not what I think of doing. One thing was not really connected to the other at all for me until fairly recently. Makes me feel like a giant weirdo.

((((MKAC)))) You are not alone in that feeling. Sex has always felt like something to be used as a weapon, or to put me in my place, or debase me in some way. I don't equate it with anything good or loving. So stop feeling like a weirdo, okay?

As long as I am moping and not working anyway, I would like to do an informal couch poll. What makes each of you respond to a person in real life or on the forum with concern and compassion and an attempt to help? Sometimes I am totally flummoxed by who gets a huge response and who gets no response at all.

So, is it the person who is searching for ways out of where they are? Struggling for answers and open to help? Looking for ways to open a closed door in their life, or searching for a window to open? Searching for light in what seems like total darkness?

The person who keeps bashing their head against the same closed door over and over, while insisting the door is actually open? The person who keeps bashing their head against the same closed door over and over, insisting they have no choice except to continue bashing? OR who just says they are not actually bashing their head at all even though to all appearances they are?

I've had rage sex. It's kind of like makeup sex. In fact sometimes it's a step towards makeup sex.

nah. Still a weirdo because I am the one using it to express rage. Rage = arousal for me. Totally weird and creepy.

Dolphins are footballers.... I'm confused.

I think unaluna is just a little stressed. Normally her posts are clear as day.

Hang in there, girl!

Well, the former. But I think there is a tendency to be attracted to the latter, because they are in such desperate straits and because you hope you might be the one to help them.

Which was/is the story of my second marriage.

People in the first group?

And i know that! was it the marlins?

Yep. Although they look nothing like dolphins, they do come from the same city!