[stopdog]

Do you care/want/believe the therapist will remember you after you quit seeing them? Why? I mean in terms of a specific thing that is longed for. What possible difference would it make - particularly since it is not like, for the most part, one would ever know.

I don't remember most specific students - I like them well enough when they are in my class and I care about what I am teaching them- but unless they were total jerkwads - I rarely remember them past a year or two - some I don't remember the next semester. I don't remember most clients either. None by name. I don't see therapists or therapy as having any reason to be different.

[doogie]

Yes, I care and yes, I want my T to remember after I'm gone. I don't know about all Ts. Maybe some just terminate and never think of that client again, but I believe the Ts I've seen do remember past clients, and remember them fondly. I think that the relationship I have with my T in that room is different from any other relationship she has with any other client. I don't mean to say that out relationship is better or more special or anything like that, but I just mean that I am unique and I bring my uniqueness to her and my uniqueness brings out qualities in her that others might not see - just like their uniqueness might bring out qualities that I don't see. I just can't imagine that if you are genuinely invested in a relationship like that that it doesn't leave a mark on your heart.

I think my T will remember me, as I'm a first for her in many ways, although I couldn't list them and the ones I could list I don't care to list as they are private.
I'm fairly sure my pdoc will remember me, as he's said I'm not his typical client. Also, I'm the first he did ECT 'with' for depression, I'm the first he did Clozapine with for depression, and I'm the first in another few ways I don't care to list.
I'm fairly sure my EMDR T will at least remember the trauma I went through - I don't think she's seen [may, or any at all] other victims of medical torture.

[stopdog]

But so what? What good does it do you to believe such a thing?

I don't have to guess at this as I've experienced it in actuality. All three of my long-term therapists have remembered me beyond our time in therapy together. I have corresponded with one for the past 30 years. I ran into another just a few months ago after 20 years away from each other and he knew and remembered me instantly. My most recent therapist and I just ran into each other a couple of weeks ago after not having seen each other in over a year.

Do I "care" if they remember? I don't know. I was never in the situation where I really wondered that they didn't.

Now, I saw a few other therapists briefly. I don't remember their names or what they looked like, nor do I care one way or another. I HIGHLY doubt they remember me either.

[stopdog]

I don't believe I would recognize either of the ones I currently pay if I ran into them outside of their office. I doubt either of them would recognize me either.

I don't really care if they remember me personally. I hope they remember enough to learn from my case.

[atisketatasket]

They can do what they want. No. 1 refers to previous clients, so clearly she remembers people.

I don't care if they remember me but I think it would be important to many clients to know they were remembered if they value the relationship with their therapist.

[Nammu]

They would remember. It's nice but I don't particularly care. I ran into a former T and she was delighted to see me and asked after me.

[stopdog]

No. 1 refers to previous clients, so clearly she remembers people.

Do you believe she is doing it for real or just making them up? "I had a client once who did...." to make a point - does it matter if the client ever really existed? Does it matter if the client existed but the therapist only remembers this one thing about them and not their name or what they came for or so forth? Or that the therapist is not remembering correctly?

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Do you believe she is doing it for real or just making them up? "I had a client once who did...." to make a point - does it matter if the client ever really existed? Does it matter if the client existed but the therapist only remembers this one thing about them and not their name or what they came for or so forth? Or that the therapist is not remembering correctly?

No, too many details were given. And one of them had died recently and she teared up.

I think the woman missed her calling on the stage, but I don't think she's that good of an actress.

[stopdog]

I give them a great deal of credit for acting - that is the one area I give them their due. Particularly since the audience is often so willing.

Details don't matter - I do it all the time while teaching - make up past students or mush a few together for a purpose and I can give great detail about it should it be necessary for my point. I am terrible at names and often can't remember someone who has taken 4 semesters with me. And my sections are not that large.

Originally Posted by stopdog

Do you believe she is doing it for real or just making them up? "I had a client once who did...." to make a point - does it matter if the client ever really existed? Does it matter if the client existed but the therapist only remembers this one thing about them and not their name or what they came for or so forth? Or that the therapist is not remembering correctly?

My therapist clearly very specifically remembers past clients. It isn't just hypothetical or made up. It doesn't matter to me particularly one way or another, but he clearly does remember the ones he as brought up over the years. That does not mean I think he remembers every client or every detail about every client. A. I would think that is impossible, and B. I would have no way of knowing that anyway, and C. I know as a teacher that there are certain students I very vividly remember, by name, for certain reasons (that does not mean I remember everything about them--memory doesn't work that way).

[awkwardlyyours]

Not really. I personally don't care if my current therapist remembers me or not after I quit therapy.

If I had to wager though, I highly doubt she'd remember anything more than some vague, hazy stuff because she's a trifle scatter-brained and spacey even now.

So, at least in my case, I'm not sure I can take her remembering me or not remembering me as anything personal.

[stopdog]

Even if they do - I am still stuck at so what.
I mean I don't believe they usually do but even if they do - what difference can it possibly make?

Yes i care, and yes i want her to remember me. I guess it's because this relationship has been so important to me, i want to have meant something more than a paycheck to her. Such a convoluted thing, a t relationship is.

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[JaneTennison1]

I hope ex T will remember me and how she fouled up. Sadly she probably won't think of me at all except this terrible client she had once

Originally Posted by stopdog

Even if they do - I am still stuck at so what.
I mean I don't believe they usually do but even if they do - what difference can it possibly make?

I don't know that it does make a difference particularly. I mean, unless you correspond with them or actually have a situation where you run into them down the road, how would you know anyway? I run into old students constantly, MOST I don't remember by name because over the past 30 years I've probably taught over 6,000 students. They don't seem at all fussed about the fact that I don't remember them; rather, they usual approach me with "Mrs. A, you probably don't remember me, but my name is _____ and you taught me in 7th grade . . ." I'm not at all embarrassed that I don't remember them and they aren't upset about it either. On the other hand, there are a few students who over the years really stuck in my memory, and I even correspond with several of them via Facebook, etc., but it is a much, much smaller number.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Even if they do - I am still stuck at so what.
I mean I don't believe they usually do but even if they do - what difference can it possibly make?

I'm with you on "so what?" (at least with respect to therapists) but I imagine it is like hoping a former lover remembers you sometimes. Because it means not just that the relationship was important to you, it was important to them too. It means a piece of you is with them forever.

[stopdog]

I don't remember many teachers either. I can only think of the names of 1 from college and 2 high school. Mostly because they were so weird. Not because of admiration.
Two from grade school and that is only because they were completely terrifying.
I would not say it is because they were important to me in any good way.

I can't call up any of their visages.

[justdesserts]

I have no idea if my T will remember me. I hope that if he doesn't remember me specifically, he will have learned something while working with me that will stick with him.

[stopdog]

What would you want them to have learned?

[Ellahmae]

My T and I will not have an ending relationship unless one of us leaves this earth. Even when therapy is still over I'll be the first she transitions into another relationship with. We are extremely close. So she will remember me after therapy because we'll still be 'not apart'.

[Ellahmae]

I do believe that my T does this. Doesn't bother me. I used to teach. I sometimes do this too in my job. I try not to think too much about it.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I give them a great deal of credit for acting - that is the one area I give them their due. Particularly since the audience is often so willing.

Details don't matter - I do it all the time while teaching - make up past students or mush a few together for a purpose and I can give great detail about it should it be necessary for my point. I am terrible at names and often can't remember someone who has taken 4 semesters with me. And my sections are not that large.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I don't remember many teachers either. I can only think of the names of 1 from college and 2 high school. Mostly because they were so weird. Not because of admiration.
Two from grade school and that is only because they were completely terrifying.
I would not say it is because they were important to me in any good way.

I can't call up any of their visages.

That's interesting. I remember a rather large number of my teachers, even from way back in elementary school. I remember their faces and names; I'd say the ones I remember best I remember because I really enjoyed their classes. Now that I think of it, the ones I remember most were reading, English, or music teachers, but I do remember several from other subjects also. Generally, I am horrible with names and faces, but I do remember quite a few teachers very specifically.