Premature unilateral termination session

'When my psychiatrist referred me to see you, she told me that you were a very good listener. I hold that opinion too and hope that you would stick to that trait of yours for the next few minutes.

I was thinking about cancelling this appointment but then I decided against it because I wanted to say goodbye. I do not think we have a strong connection and I think you would agree that I have not made much progress.
I have a few confessions to make. I have recorded a few of our sessions without asking you. I would understand if you do not believe me when I say this, I have deleted them. I feel bad about this but I checked your profiles on Facebook and Linkedin.

I wanted to give you some feedback to you regarding our sessions, which I think was the critical factor which made me want to attend this session.' Then I tell her that she is an excellent listener and I am extremely grateful to her for charging me for half an hour while giving me an hour (this arrangement started after I had attended 17 sessions, and I have been on a sliding scale for the past 4 sessions), and helped me through a tough phase in my life when I first started to see her. Then I mention some obvious areas for her to work are: 1) Punctuality: she is regularly late for the sessions (5-15 mins). Not so obvious: I felt abandoned when she did not reach out or check on me while I was having a really tough time in September when I had resigned from my job in August and was serving my notice period. (In her defense, I did not schedule any appointments for a month). She did not suggest that I should see her while I scheduled a session every two months. (Again, I understand that this was my decision it has nothing to do with her). And I tell her that scheduling appointments is difficult as she does not reply to messages timely (usually 1-3 days) and do not reply to emails.

Should I tell her this? Or should I just tell that I want to terminate and go over the key takeaways from our sessions?
PS. If I just cancel the session she might call my mom, and I do not want that.

Are you really sure you want to stop seeing her? Would you consider talking about all those issues in an open-ended way and seeing if you can work with her responses? Only because you seem to have a lot of mixed feelings, from the way you write this.

I do not think I am better at tackling my depression than I was 6 months ago. Actually, I think I am worse. I want to try a different therapist with a different approach.

It kind of sounds to me like you would feel better about things if you got this stuff of your chest. Just do what is best for you because this isn't about her. If you don't want to go to the last session, you could write her an email with this stuff, too. Good luck! Glad you are pursuing other therapists.

Question: Could your making the decision at this moment have to do with your sibling maybe seeing your therapist, feelings about recording...I agree with Pennester. If you don't want to share therapist it's okay to state that. If you need to record surreptitiously with the idea of hoping to come clean one day, then record. You are not hurting anyone. Six months can be a drop in the bucket if you've dealt with depression and other unsolved issues. These are my opinions only, ultimately the decision is yours. At least sleep on it for a few days.

I am confused, as always. I still do not know if I do not want her to see my sibling. Recording without her permission does bother me though. I just feel like starting afresh with somebody else with more vigour and a different approach.

So except for the recording sessions, you've done pretty much everything a curious client does to find out about their therapist (looking her up on Facebook, etc.). And everything she's done (lateness, slowness to respond, expects client to take initiative in contact during difficult times) is stuff people complain about with their therapists all the time. (Not to say it's not annoying.)

I don't know whether to have the conversation with her as you envision it, but if you go to another therapist, you should explain exactly why you left the first one to make sure the next one isn't habitually late, responds more quickly, and will reach out to you.

Most Ts do not reach out like you are talking about.
Even my T , who I KNOW loves me deeply will only check up on me if I request it and set it up ahead of time. Its a way of protecting clients. Some people manage by compartmentalizing their therapy issues.that is broken down if your T "invades" the rest of your life.
So you may want to consider if your expectations there are realistic. My T and I have been working together for 4 years and are extremely close, but unless I was very sick in the hospital or my spouse passed away, I could never imagine her "checking up" on me unless I asked her to.