Therapist says I'm abusive

I think she should terminate. Not because you are doing anything wrong, but because you are on the floor begging her not to and she is allowing it to continue. I think that is her being abusive: she shouldn't be allowing this to even continue.she should say the lengh of time left together and work on closure and how you might continue work with someone else.

I agree, at this point she will be doing you a favour, dare I say maybe even acting admirably, by ending her abuse toward you before she does more damage.

I don't see what is wrong with asking that. Seems it is vitally important to have that conversation.

What you describe doesn't sound like therapy at all. It sounds like two triggered people fighting to protect themselves. She is behaving like a client. That is a monstrous betrayal.

My ex T accused me of being "subtly manipulative", referring to the tactics I used to get her attention immediately following termination. The finality and abruptness of termination sent me over the edge. I used whatever means necessary to cope. I could not see clearly at the time. Months later, i could plainly see that her pejorative and punitive labeling of my behavior was a direct result of her own ego having been threatened, and that she was hurling a lot of excrement at me because she was mainly looking after herself at that point. Empathic failure.

No you did not entrap her.

Please work on freeing yourself from her.

I agree with Budfox. Sounds like she is acting more like an insecure client than a therapist. I hope you will consider moving on to perhaps a different therapist if you decide to continue therapy. Too much therapist drama (on the therapist's end) in this one.

I think that's a good idea, and it really is what I was trying to do. I felt like things were okay between us for a while. I didn't bring up any "relationship" related issues...I decided to just let it go, to give us both a chance to be better.

I think the problem is that, after a particular session a couple of weeks ago, I felt really close to her - and that brought back up a lot of feelings I'd tried to let go of. I went from feeling like, "Things are going pretty well" to feeling like, "I really don't know if it is safe to feel close to her." After she made that comment about how if I didn't want a therapist who gets caught up, we wouldn't be sitting on the floor right now - then it became, "It is not safe to feel close to her." And THEN, after last Friday's session (described in the OP), it became, "This relationship is extremely, extremely far from safe, and she cannot be trusted." It escalated from week to week...and it seems like she went on that journey with me. Just the other week she told me that we were building a foundation for me - and that one day, a long long time from now, when I feel ready, I will leave her, and then I will always have this inside of me. She said that to me literally three weeks ago. It only took three 45 minute sessions for her to go all the way from there to quitting. (Or being "right on the edge" of quitting.)

I guess what I'm saying is - I'm not sure if I can manage to just put this aside and talk about a real life problem...because I tried to do that, and it didn't last. It turns out I was still plenty upset with her, and all it took to bring those feelings back to the surface was feeling close to her. It seems like a cycle. The positive interactions lead right into the negative interactions. I don't know how to get out.

I think I probably will try to find a different therapist to see for at least a session or two...I contacted a therapist last night, but I don't really have a good feeling about her so far. I don't know, we'll see what happens I guess.

Thank you all for your wonderful support, it's very much appreciated. I don't know what I would have done this week without it.

I'm so sorry things have been rough! I'm glad you are listening to your gut, even though it means some hard decisions. You deserve to feel safe within your therapeutic relationship.

The relationship is the foundation of therapy. If the relationship is unacceptable, the treatment won't be successful.

Personally, after reading all the posts... I think both you and your therapist have gotten way to emotionally involved with each other. I think she knows this deep down and that's why she keeps trying to end the sessions. While I believe her behavior with you in some situations has been less than professional, I think there's a good possibility she brings up things about you that are difficult for you to hear, and that you take those observations personally and maybe get offended. May I suggest you not censor yourself at therapy. Don't take what she says as an attack. When you're thinking things like this "...went from feeling like, "Things are going pretty well" to feeling like, "I really don't know if it is safe to feel close to her." After she made that comment about how if I didn't want a therapist who gets caught up, we wouldn't be sitting on the floor right now - then it became, "It is not safe to feel close to her." And THEN, after last Friday's session (described in the OP), it became, "This relationship is extremely, extremely far from safe, and she cannot be trusted..."... tell her. Talk about it with her. Listen, and converse.
BUT...If you don't feel safe with her, then you don't feel safe. It'll (therapy) never work for you with here, in that case.
I don't mean to say anything bad about you. I have no idea if you're abusive or not. I tend to give folks the benefit of doubt. I'm just offering a different perspective to consider.
Best to you.

It also sounds like the reverse is true -- OP is bringing up things about therapist that are difficult for her (the therapist) to hear, and she is taking it personally and acting out. That is much more concerning to me. Again, whose therapy is this?

BTW, not sure if I missed this, but I don't recall any mention of the T seeking consultation or supervision. TBH, kinda sounds like a 3rd party should be involved, assuming the relationship is at all salvageable. As someone wrote, clients are encouraged to give their all to therapy, but when the dyad itself is in trouble too often the T does not seek therapy for the dyad itself and instead allows it to implode or terminate.