The Couch - CXII : The Tao of Couchies

((EM)) Youu do matter.

OK I lied. I want very much for my t to reply.

Fun times. Just got into it with my h over me not submitting my t sessions to insurance. I told him I'd talk to her about it and see if she'll write me a receipt for the sessions I've had so far this year. We'll have to come up with a diagnosis to use and I guess I'll have to trust in the confidentiality thing. I understand his point. If between my therapy, his expensive stomach meds, and my son's therapy that's starting soon, we MIGHT have a chance of meeting the deductible before the end of the year. We're working on my money complex in t right now anyway, so it's as good a time as any to ask for receipts again. (My insurance doesn't cover mental health until after meeting our very high deductible. Sad, isn't it? Mental health always seems to take a back seat over physical health and I don't understand that at all. Why is it any less important?!)

Well couch my mouth hurts so I'ma take a vicodin and call it a night. Hugs to all who want them.

(((Ellahmae))) I'm sorry you're feeling bad. Can you contact your t after hours for support? Please stay safe. You do matter. Sending you safe hugs.

(((Ellahmae)))

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SM - I am sure it is hard to watch your adult child make mistakes that can hurt them. I hope it goes okay.

(((Ellahmae))) I'm sorry you're hurting so much.

Ellahmae, hope today is a better day

((((((Ellahmae))))))

Hopping in your pocket if there's room for another pocket ruder, Breadfish.

Thanks, QM (and everyone else).

It's 2 hr 32 minutes. I'm going to play on the piano for a bit.

I hate it when I leave T with a kind of lump of horrid emotion internally. Grrr. But I noticed as was putting on my shoes afterwards that he'd given me almost three extra minutes which is unusual, so I suspect he noticed something. I wish I were back there now.

Sorry. TMI.

Why TMI? I'm not offended that you take your shoes off in T.

Well, for the third straight morning, I wake up, get out of bed....and the room just spins like a carnival ride for about a minute. I hold very still and it passes. No n/v. I've checked, no loss of strength on either side...no half a droopy face...no slurred words. Damn it.

I'm thinking Ménière's disease, maybe. I see the cardiologist and ENT both on Thursday.
I have had this spinning sensation before- it was much worse in the past. They gave me a pill for dizziness and sent me home with a referral to a "balance clinic."

I hate aging.

That sounds scary, precaryous. Could it be an inflamed nerve in your inner ear? I hope it's something like that rather than Menière's...

Thanks for everyone that pocket rode. The session went really well. Family T was sick, so it was just me, my parents, and my T. I told my parents about the thing and their reaction was really great. Not over-the-top or pitying anything, just kind and compassionate.

It could be an inner ear issue. I feel so normal right now.
I have had these twirly spinning issues...the first time was in my twenties.
If they get worse, I'll call my pcp...but I really hope I can wait until I see the ENT.

breadfish

(who said rebus writing was dead?)
(that's a rhetorical question )

Thanks all. I'm still quite depressed but think I cried most of it out yesterday? I just wish I knew what hit me or why. I am still exhausted. Slept but didn't sleep. My eyes burn and I just want to curl up and hide and have someone play with my hair. I'm so tired and weak and just expended I guess. T again today - we'll see how this goes. Nervous. She'll be lovely as always and I'll be a mess. I might just ask to have a nap and she can do paperwork. I'm glad I'm working through this but it's so incredibly hard at times.

Thanks, Art. I have 24/7 access to her - that's the problem right now she goes through phases where I can tell she's getting too close and then she pulls away and this is one of those pulling away times and I need her so it's just bad timing so she'll let me figure it out on my own and we'll talk about it today. I don't know. Her life is bananas right now and I'm falling to pieces but life is life I guess.

Trader joe fans -I give a thumbs up on the green tea mochi and the chocolate mochi ice cream balls.

I give a thumbs up on all mochi! Love it when my husband goes to Japan and brings it back fresh and delicious!

The trader joe ones have ice cream in the middle.

therapy in 1 1/2 hour .it has been so hard . im just so tired and sad at this point . i dont know what to think of her . dont know if i care right now im just tired and sad
. omg my NP yesterday asked me what makes me the saddest because we dont have time for all of it and that i will have to come back . she wanted to focus on the chest pains all the stress is causing me . my chest main never was caused by just stress . but every time my son contacts me or i have to talk about him the pain comes back . off to see my cardiologist again . i want to talk to her

I take my shoes off at t too.

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