[stolen_innocence08]

I have no basis for this feeling, I don't think.

I just cant shake the feeling that T is trying to manipulate me in some way, I dont know how. T hass been nothing but good and professional and I feel really committed in my therapy. Why do I feel like this

I used to say this to T.
I think it's a mixture of things - for me anyways - partly because I was manipulated by my mother who was a great manipulator.
Also, as new ways of seeing the things in my life began to happen, it did feel as if that was being orchestrated from outside of me, rather than inside of me because I'd grown to mistrust life, people, anything other than my childhoods 'party line'.

I feel like there is lots of basis for this feeling! To me therapy is all about the T's manipulation of the client- They might be doing it for therapeutic value, but the methodology is still manipulative.

[musinglizzy]

I remember someone once saying that their T told them therapists are master manipulators. I kind of agree with CassyO

I agree with the others . it is all about manipulation of the client.

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Of course there is manipulation involved. I'm a teacher, and when I am trying to move my students from point A to point B, I absolutely manipulate the environment, the sequence of lessons, the discussions and activities, etc. in order to best help them get them to that point. Sometimes it is covert; other times I tell them exactly why I am setting things up they way I am. I don't particularly see therapist's roles all that much differently. They will help steer discussion, help us practices strategies, etc. in such a way as to move us forward in hopefully a productive way. My T most of the time told me exactly what he was doing and why; other times I completely saw it for myself even if he didn't come out and tell me; and, a few times he was not so obvious about it and only in retrospect did I realize why he did things the way he did.

Originally Posted by _Mouse

I used to say this to T.
I think it's a mixture of things - for me anyways - partly because I was manipulated by my mother who was a great manipulator.

This is a great point. I think because so many of us were deviously and maliciously manipulated in the past, we look warily on the whole idea of manipulation when in actuality, manipulation is all around us, and it isn't always with harmful intent. We manipulate others all the time: parents learn how to manipulate situations with their children; heck, children are master manipulators of their parent for that matter. It isn't an evil thing unless in the hands of someone truly setting out to do harm, and we sometimes forget because of our backgrounds that not everyone out there is out to get us.

If the word "manipulation" bothers you (it carries a very negative connotation for some people), try "guidance" or "approach" or "direction" maybe? I never found my therapist's manipulation to be much more than his approach to working with me to help guide me toward healing, to help me find some direction in my life. Obviously that isn't why everyone sees a therapist (SD comes to mind), but a large number of us go to therapy very much to try to find some direction and focus, and the reason we utilize a therapist is that we haven't been particularly successful in doing it alone, so that "manipulation" or "guidance" or "direction" (whatever you want to call it) is what we went there looking for.

[stopdog]

I think as long as you can see the manipulation - just don't play along with it. I do believe they manipulate or try to all the time - whether a client is willing to be manipulated is a different issue.