T called me today after her surgery yesterday!

T had surgery yesterday and had told me she'd be out a month, she thought. Maybe longer, depending... I have been so worried. I left her a message yesterday at 4am--couldn't sleep!-- wishing her well and that I was really going to miss her!

She had told me there would be someone on call if needed. I told her I'd never talk to anyone else! Can you imagine, calling someone you've never even met to talk to in place of T?!? I sure can't! So I was getting ready to call the on-call person to see if she'd tell me if T was ok. Before I could, the phone was ringing and it was T calling me!

She sounded really good !! She told me she will be back in the office Tuesday.. THIS Tuesday! How great is that?! We can resume our weekly Friday sessions next Friday!

But... when I asked if she was okay, she said yes, but that she "would need further treatment" . OMG! When she told me about needing surgery and having to be out a few weeks ago, I risked asking what she was having done. Her reply was that she had "decided to not disclose that at this time". Well, I can only think of one scenario here and that is cancer. I can't think of anything else where one would have surgery, then need further treatment.

Oh, I just want her to be okay! I'm wanting to 'be there' for her. It's going to be hard to not feel like a burden or a bother.

I feel so bad that a few weeks ago I was upset with her because she seemed distracted or not interested. So maybe she was, really, and understandably! And I was angry that she got 2 phone calls during the session, one from a client and one that was a call about "an important medical appointment". I feel like a thoughtless brat now. She must have wanted to wring my neck!

I'm glad she is coming back sooner than expected, but I'm not sure how we will go on from here.

ECHOES, I am so glad your T came through her surgery OK and is sounding good. What a relief for you. I'm glad too she is feeling well enough to return to work sooner than planned.

When you see her next, will you talk about her surgery? If it were me, I would probably be unable to keep from talking about it at my session. I know the focus is supposed to be me, but I would probably want to talk about him. It would seem somehow weird to talk about myself when a person so close to me had just gone through surgery. Do you know what I mean? The therapeutic relationship is so confusing sometimes!!!

(((hugs)))

Wow! What a surprise! I'm glad she was well enough to call -- that bodes well for her recovery even if there is further treatment, though I can fully understand why that is alarming. I'm glad there won't be such a long wait before you reconnect.

(BTW, I'm sure she did not think you were being a burden -- since you did not know what was going on with her and she chose to not let you in, I know she understood your reactions. They were perfectly normal. Any of us would have felt the same.)

It will be a little awkward ahead, but at least you will be with her.

((Echoes))

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She sounded really good !!

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That is the best news I have heard all week. Trust your gut. If she sounded good, then she felt good. She may or may not have cancer. There is really no way of knowing and there are plenty of illnesses that require treatment. So....don't go there if you can help it, until you have had a chance to discuss this with her and reassure yourself on some level. Even if she doesn't want to disclose her illness, you can still let her know you care about her and worry about the relationship.

It's so difficult to be reminded that our Ts are human. It's like our parents when we are little. They seem so big and invulnerable until we grow up.

I'm so happy for you and T that you will be back together this week. Simply amazing.

That's great that she called, Echoes. I'm really glad for you.

Take care,

gg

Yeah Echoes!

I'm so glad she called you too. It will be hard not to focus on the surgery and further treatment next session. I know that I like to spend a few minutes talking to my T and ask him how he's doing and all.

Oh wow, I'm so glad for you!!

Thanks sunny!

I will have to talk about her surgery. She may not want to share any more than she has though. I think her saying that she was going to 'need further treatment' was a way of opening up the subject more, but I could be wrong. I think she has an idea of what will be ahead for her and since it probably will affect her scheduling and possibly my time with her then we'll have to talk some about it.

And I agree, sunny, I could not just waltz in there Friday and talk about my stuff as if nothing has happened. This is her personal life, but it affects both of us.

thanks for the hugs!!! ((sunny))

ECHOES

Thank you Caramee, it sure was a surprise. She said she would call when she felt up to it, but I didn't expect to hear from her for several days at least. That was her guess when we talked about it , that she probably wouldn't feel herself for several days and that she didn't know when she'd feel up to returning to the office after that.

It's more now and from this point on that I worry about being a burden. If she is sick and has her own Big Things on her mind, I had to add to her burden. Something to talk about with her. Thanks for helping me feel okay about worrying about her!

ECHOES

(((( sister ))))

It was such a surprise to hear her sound so perfectly normal! I'm always groggy and fuzzy the day after surgery. I guess I could take that as proof that she is really good and sturdy, huh.

Really, I tried to think of other illnesses it could be but just couldn't come up with any. The fact that she said that she would 'need further treatment' sounds like it is major treatment that will possibly take a considerable amount of her time and will affect her scheduling too. I did mention it to someone who told me they went through something similar with their analyst; the analyst had an organ transplant and they had several large breaks in treatment because of if. Well, that would be so hard, but I just want her to be well, or get well !

Thank you so much; you're right, I can still tell her her I care about her and worry about her. I did that in my message I left for her on her machine. I knew she'd get it before she went out because she was going to change the message on the machine and she hadn't yet. Even though I hugged her at the end of the last session, and wished her the best, I couldn't get out that I care about her and would miss her, so I did that on the phone message. I am such a chicken.

Thank you, gardenergirl, very much

Thank you so much, almeda24fan.

I'm with you.. I'll have to talk about it and ask how she is doing. See where it goes from there.

She says to start the sessions "wherever you are" and that's right where I'll be, wondering how she is and what the future appears to hold in store.

Thank you so much, pink!!

Thank you, fuzzy!!

So glad she's doing well and that you'll get to see her again soon!!!

You are not a burden!!! She is a therapist and will have learned how to compartmentalize the issues of her clients such that it doesn't burden her life. I'm sorry she's been having health problems, that would scare me too. But it sounds like she's doing better...

Sidony