Touch in therapy

Thanks for this, I love this magazine and am currently a member of their organisation. They are very open to all sorts of healing

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I am making my way thru the long Zur article. I like the way it classifies different types of touch initiated by the t - like greeting, high five, etc. It makes it seem more official, more boundaried ie well defined, and a lot less creepy. Like more formal, not just touchy feely. This corresponds to my experience with my current t. It was not my experience with prev ts who asked for a hug at our last session and i would just feel defenseless and invaded.

My male therapist once reached out and hovered his hand near my shoulder but didn't touch it. It occurred when the session was over and I was near the door. He knows I've been abused as a child and domestic abuse. He asked me once or twice if my parents ever comforted me. I replied no. I told him my surgeon has patted or tapped the back of my shoulder at some of my appointments. He asked if it bothered me. I said no. There are times when I wish for a hug or comforting touch but I'm too chicken to approach the subject.

My T did this a bit, the hovering, then eventually moved to touching my shoulder. Could be he was considering touching you, then held back. It's definitely difficult to ask... (T just started doing that on her own, but it was after like 3.5 years!)

I'm seeing him tomorrow. I'm really scared for some reason. I think it's because he might have changed his mind or he might have different ideas to me or it might not go smoothly or something. My anxiety is through the roof.

Be strong.

Thanks Waterbear. I think I will be OK when I see him as he is kind and safe, but I might have trouble sleeping tonight...

Do please let us know how you get on in today's session.

Thanks, I will update. 14 hours and counting...

In some way, I envy you and others who have touch available to you, but there's also something to it that feels it might not be right for me. That being said, I have fantasized about being distressed in a session and my T putting her/his hand on my forearm, just to offer me assurance that s/he is there and staying w/me. We're just starting our 10th month, so perhaps some of my reticence is the length of time we've been together. I'm so avoidant-dismissing that comfort of any kind is irritating to me, as I simply have to be stronger and more self-reliant.

I certainly don't feel I can give opinions or thoughts on whether or not touch is right or wrong for others. If the T and client take time to talk it through, as you and your T seem to be doing, I think there's less to go wrong during and at the end of therapy.