[ThingWithFeathers]

My t has always shared her thoughts with me, but recently she has started to share some of her feelings with me. It really helps, but also plays on my mind a bit. For example, last session my t said that she worries about me. I have been thinking about this for the last few days. I worry me too but figure no one cares, so it was validating to here her say this. But I also feel guilty about making her worry. I don't want to impact on anyone in a negative way.

I guess I'm wondering how you would take this?

Also what does your t share of themselves with you?

my t shares lots with me and i find it very helpful

[retro_chic]

Yeah, I would feel guilty if my T said that she worries about me but I think there is a part of me that would find it touching too. My T doesn't share any of her feelings with me but she does share her insights. I find them useful and interesting but also overwhelming and confusing. It takes me a while to process things.

My T properly shared his feelings for the first time in my last session. It was amazing - really changed things for me and made it a lot easier to connect with him. Some of the things he said have played on me since then - he did say he worried about me, but I find that hard to believe - or rather, theres so many types of 'worry' the statement doesn't effect me until I get clarification of worry type! But I did make him feel bad, and I hate that. I know it was inevitable, but really the last thing I want to do is make him feel bad, so I keep thinking about it. He said a lot of things that day that really blew my mind though, so its all mixed up together.

[stopdog]

They have both done it. I have no idea why and if I catch it fast enough, I stop them. I don't find it useful and I don't much care about their thoughts or feelings.

My T said he cares about me, and I told him that it makes me feel more responsibility to look after myself. I wouldn't want to let him down (guilt plays into it for me too) so I know I will look after myself. That's got to be a good thing.

[Gettingitsoon]

I know my T cares about me. I think she cares about most (all?) Of her patients.
I find that to be a good thing, I know her comments are coming from her heart as well as from her knowledge and training.

But the worry part worries me!
Been seeing this T for 4 yrs and right now is THE WORST family situation I'm dealing with .
Serious ongoing medical issue with my husband of many years.
It's been central to many of our recent sessions.

Well, T let me know she has a vacation scheduled starting today. Covering T contact info.
But call her on her cell if anything turns bad with his situation/me.
I told her I wouldn't do that. The woman's on a one week vacation, I have family support, I have a P-doc.....I'm not calling her.
Well, she said she'd worry about me and want me to call. I finally said yes but didn't mean it.

Her worry for me is touching? But not useful. Now I'm lying to her which I don't do. I don't want to worry about her worry! Keep it to yourself!

So, last nite, husband landed in ER, and has been admitted to hospital. Several treatments begun, tests, etc he will be "ok". What's the point in calling her? It's a burden to me, not a help.

Vent over. Boy, surprised how strongly I feel about this seeing it here!

[Schizoid_1]

She does not share her feelings with me and has described it as her personal stuff.

[nicoleflynn]

I would ask WHAT does she worry about you; ;and that way you could discuss it.

My new therapist has a very interactive style. He shares a lot of his thoughts, opinions, experiences as they fit in context. I love it and find it much more engaging and motivating than my former T who was much more standoffish and simplistic.

[velcro003]

No, not that I can think of. She has said to me a few times that she can relate to me, usually when I tell her I am a robot person and/or a cactus that can't handle people...I am too prickly. I also have only seen her less than a year, and most of it has been focused on depression symptoms.

[Chummy2]

My T-on-leave didn't shared much personal things with me. She hasn't shared much feelings about me. Once she said that a letter I wrote worried her. But that kind of things she didn't said much. She's so T, she hasn't shared much about herself with me. I wish she would.

Current T does share feelings and thoughts and feelings with me. I've now see her about 6 times and I already now more about her than I know about T-on-leave. I like that she shares things about herself.
This T is a different kind of T than T-on-leave, so maybe that's also why this T shares more about her (schema therapist).

I don't think telling/sharing some things about yourself is ''bad'' for the client. It might depends on the client. But so far with this new T, her sharing has only been positive for me. She also said I could ask her anything I want.
I've only googled her once, while I've googled other T so many times. Maybe the sharing helps.

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

My new therapist has a very interactive style. He shares a lot of his thoughts, opinions, experiences as they fit in context. I love it and find it much more engaging and motivating than my former T who was much more standoffish and simplistic.

This is how my new T is.

[kecanoe]

T1 and t2 share feelings with me. I like it, but it also makes me more attached and I am ambivalent about that.

[junkDNA]

yes he tells me if he thinks something is sad, or if hes nervous about something, or if hes worried about me or someone else, or frustrated, etc... not so much that its all about him though.

T does share her feelings, I liked it at first but now I would say it's too much. Often she will say her feelings about me and lately they haven been very negative and hearing them can have a bad affect in me. My ego strength has improved a lot since seeing her. Now I tell her that that is her counter transference and that's what supervision is for.
I always ask t how she is at the stat of a session and she will say I am feeling good/ bad, this happened blah blah blah!
When she asks me how I am I then say ok, she will always say I am ok, what does that mean and then get annoyed, she will say do you want a menu and she pulls out her feeling menu till I pick one. I am beginning to think I just have no words to describe my feelings with t. I generally have no issue describing my feelings anywhere else but in therapy with her.

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Oh and my t has never said she worries about me so I don't know, I wouldn't like it! I have said it with my own clients when they are in a very vulnerable and fragile place. I sincerely meant that I was worried about them and would think of them often during the week!
It honk that as a client I would both feel guilty and like t cares and if I was planning to do anything to myself that I would probably think twice knowing t was worried.
I usually say that I am worried that such and such will overwhelm you but then try to empower client by saying how resilient and string they are. They gave coping mechanisms and have managed without me for a long time, I honk it's more of my own need and wanting to express concern to my client, perhaps it's a need for reassurance that client is going to leave in an ok place!

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[annielovesbacon]

My T didn't ever talk about her feelings or thoughts, it was all focused on me, but in our last session she did share her observations about me, that she has watched me grow, she thinks I'm "bright," etc. etc. just some thoughts about having me as a client. It was really nice to hear, but I'm glad she didn't do that the whole time I was with her, it would've made me focus on how she felt and how what I would say would affect her, rather than being honest. I'm glad she saved it until the end.

Always shared her thoughts and many times her feelings. For me, it gave the relationship a sense of being real. It did not have the power imbalance of a one up on me. It helped me to heal, and now that therapy has been over, I have a rembrance of those thoughts, feelings and emotions she shared in session to get me through any difficult time that may come up. For this, I am grateful.

[ThisWayOut]

Current t shares thoughts and feelings as appropriate in session. She's always done that. Actually, most my t's have. I tend to worry about making them mad or disappointed,so I think it's been out of necessity if I bring up that worry. Current t and I spend a lot of time talking about the transference because it's almost always present and "loud". That necessitates talking about her actual feelings vs my perception or belief of how she is feeling - reality checks in a way.

I think it all has a time and place. While it can make us feel guilty at times, that just another thing to look at in therapy (if you want to). I wouldn't want t sharing so much that the entire session goes by talking about her stuff, but I appreciate her humanity.

[PinkFlamingo99]

She worries about me, she really cares, it makes her sad when I harm myself

[rainbow8]

My T shares her thoughts and feelings mostly about me, not herself. She tells me that she cares about me. Mostly it's been positive things, but lately she's given me some constructive criticism, and advice, which is hard for me to listen to.

She talks about her feelings about herself, basically, only when I ask. Once I asked what she was afraid of, and she answered. When she was going through her divorce, she told me when I asked also. Afterwards, I asked if she was happy, and I got an answer. If I don't ask, she doesn't tell me because she wants to keep the focus on me. An exception is when she comments on my telling her something about her, like when I said something terrible about her weight, or when I drove past her house without permission. She wanted me to know how she felt.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Yes she has and its has always been helpful and sometimes I have even asked about her thoughts and feelings.

[velcro003]

***Possible trigger warning about sex words***



I REALLY thought my T was going into "thought-overshare" yesterday when she goes "Have I ever told you my masturbation (i hope this word is ok?) story?" I was like UHH, NO. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. But..turns out it was just about when her mom talked about it with her as a teenager...which i find fascinating.

[Bill3]

She will tell me if she is happy for me. Otherwise, minimal sharing of feelings.

She might give me her thoughts about something, but generally (not always) those thoughts are more like what a professor might say in a lecture (she also teaches). In other words, general ideas that I may or may not want to apply to myself.

Thoughts? Definitely. Feelings? Sometimes, but not all that often. He keeps my therapy pretty focused on me.