[alligned8]

I'm onto my fifth therapist and I keep changing. Only been to two sessions. She seems nice and empathetic and listens to me well and I feel comfortable, there are just a few things I am unsure about her. Wondered if any of you could give an opinion if these things are valid.

She has a bit of a crazy look in her eyes, aren't all therapists a bit weird? I'm worried this craziness is going to become part of my psyche if I carry on treatment as we take on parts of our therapists during the treatment relationship, don't we?

Think id prefer someone who seems totally normal, but are any T's like this and also doesn't having to listen to some horrible tales make the T's this way? Is it unfair I judge her for this?

Another thing. My last 2 T's have made a big deal of the confidentiality agreement before commencing. When I enquired about having one after 1 session she said she didnt normally do it but if I wanted to she could make one up, but she doesnt have one written up already. Is this unusual?

And the last thing was at the last session I noticed the phone on the small table between us was off the hook and on the floor. I noticed this as I got up to leave and asked why it was off the hook. She said 'to stop it going off'. I dont really buy that though, I mean there are many other options, take the phone out at the socket beung one
Also it doesn't make sense as anyone who dialled the house would get an engaged tone.
To me it means whoever is in the house can listen in to our chat i.e her husband or whoever else is there at the time (I can hear someone in the house and its very quiet there which makes me self concious talking in general). I can understand this may be for her security as she's an older woman and I am a young male stranger who she knows nothing about. But this feels like a massive breach of trust and invasion on my privacy. On that basis I dont think I should go back. Its a shame. She offers emdr which I think could really help me and there arent many other therapists like that in my area.

How else that phone being like that be explained though? The fact its the one right next to where we sit. Or maybe I am being paranoid?

Any thoughts on what I can do next would be greatly appreciated. What do you make of the confidentiality agreement and the phone? I will have to approach the subject with her.

Thanks

[Victoria'smom]

I don't think we take on parts of there personality but certainly the skills they give us. Give her 5 sessions to decide. I don't know if it's unusual for her not to have a confidentiality form because I go to clinics but it's a plus she's willing to write one up. I would just ask her to unplug the phone.

[alligned8]

Thanks Miguel

[Argonautomobile]

I'd give it a few more sessions. It's still very early. If it doesn't work out, she may be able to provide you with a referral to someone who will work better. Good luck!

[Waterbear]

Give it a few more sessions, ask her to unplug the phone and explain your thoughts if you can. Easier said than done I know. If it isn't right, keep looking, I wouldn't see it as switching, you are still interviewing them really.

I think that if you feel uncomfortable about the crazy look in her eyes then that is your gut telling you this does not feel right to you. I think that the way that a T looks at you is really important. Finding the right T can take time, but I think that in the long run it is better to spend time searching around for someone who feels right. I have tried out 6 T's. The one I have now seems very normal. I think that being a T is a highly skilled job, and that only a proportion of T's out there can actually do it well.

I see that I'm not giving the same advice as others, I hope that all our thoughts help in your decision.

[annielovesbacon]

I'd say give her a bit more time (and give yourself a bit more time). The crazy look in her eyes could be a gut feeling you should trust, but it could also just be you being nervous about seeing a new T. As for the confidentiality agreement, I don't know if it's unusual, but her being open to writing one up for you is a good sign. And the phone thing, I would just ask her to unplug it next time. If she seems resistant to that I would feel a little suspicious.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by alligned8

How else that phone being like that be explained though? The fact its the one right next to where we sit. Or maybe I am being paranoid?

It's up to T to win your trust.

However, if you want to give her a fair trial, I would prefer you raised your concerns with her.

PS:

There was a microphone dangling from the ceiling of our group therapy room. Also there was a one-way mirror behind a curtain. The facilitators assured me they "didn't use them any more." And with that I had to be content.

[divine1966]

I don't know about the phone and why it's off the hook.

Other things I am confused about. No not all therapists are as you put it not normal. Most certainly not all of us take on parts of our therapists either . I certainly don't.

I also don't understand what "crazy" eyes mean. She looks evil or what?

Also I don't think because therapists listen to some complicated stories they become abnormal themselves. I am a special ed teacher with long experience and I've seen it all and then some, but it doesn't mean I acquired any of the disabilities or illness or special needs myself. It just made me very experienced in spotting what might be the issue with someone, it doesn't take me long and I am typically spot on, but it does not mean dealing with struggling population made me a struggling person myself. Our professions effect us of course but not to the point of becoming like our patients or clients or students etc

If you don't feel comfortable with her it's a different story though

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk