[Petra5ed]

I keep hearing about my therapists family, how much he loves his kids, and how easy that is for him. This touches a nerve with me, my parents didn't find it so easy to love me, and part of me wants the therapist to love me... I've mentioned before this hurts me, but it continues on. It's not that I don't want him to have a family and a happy life, it's that I want to do therapy and be happy myself, not be triggered by insensitive comments and precluded from feeling any sort of connection during a session because I'm re-experiencing the pain and anguish of feeling like an unloved child again.

I know it's becoming a cliché but could T you talk to him about this? That would have the dual purpose of making him think more about the impact of his disclosures and also providing good therapeutic material in terms of your underlying feelings.

[Petra5ed]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

I know it's becoming a cliché but could T you talk to him about this? That would have the dual purpose of making him think more about the impact of his disclosures and also providing good therapeutic material in terms of your underlying feelings.

I thought I had, and yes I will again. What if he knows it hurts me and continues to do it?

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

I thought I had, and yes I will again. What if he knows it hurts me and continues to do it?

Difficult I know, but that's when you have to say, "T, knock it off! Don't talk about those things!" You don't have to sit there and be forced to listen to that stuff if it really does open up old wounds.

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[unaluna]

Originally Posted by winenot3

Difficult I know, but that's when you have to say, "T, knock it off! Don't talk about those things!" You don't have to sit there and be forced to listen to that stuff if it really does open up old wounds.

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Yeah or look dummy you got your notes wrong - I'm the one that does NOT like that - are you confusing me with someonew else? Okay maybe don't call him dummy. Does he think you have a problem expressing anger?

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I have been triggered in a session when my therapist was talking about her kids and family plans she had. It really stung. I feel for you.

[Gettingitsoon]

Feel for you.
I really dislike politics and political arguing.....my T is rather passionate about her political views......I think she KNOWS she should keep them out of session but at times they sneak in.

Mostly diatribes against rotten politicians not providing for people in need.....
She's not shy. Which is OK with me in general......but she can get carried away.
It bothers me I think because I'm always fighting "the system" for my disabled child so it stirs up all that in me.

It wasn't deliberate on her part but she has triggered emotional reactions.

For example, she will be caring and I get angry because her care as part of her professional job is a sharp contrast to the parents and the contrast hurts.

Last session, she gave me half an hour of extra time, and as she said "we have to wrap up", it triggered a deep sadness on how she really does give the client in front of her full attention while the parents were more interested in TV advertisements than their own child.

[divine1966]

Yes, a bit, with one particular topic, my adult kid and one of hers live in the same town ( coincidental) which is very ( trust me when I say very) far from where we live. Despite the fact that both I and my kid have professional jobs in a similar field with the same level of education and we aren't poor, we cannot afford to see each other more than once or twice a year ( granted those are long visits like 2 week vacations but infrequent), her kid has way more lucrative job and can afford frequent visits.

Whenever we are talking about holiday plans and she mentions that he'll be visiting, I think that we will never be able to afford it, such frequent travel is a luxury for us. So I do feel sadness

Luckily topic doesn't come up often and my feelings aren't lingering for too long.


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[Bi-PolarII2U]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

I keep hearing about my therapists family, how much he loves his kids, and how easy that is for him. This touches a nerve with me, my parents didn't find it so easy to love me, and part of me wants the therapist to love me... I've mentioned before this hurts me, but it continues on. It's not that I don't want him to have a family and a happy life, it's that I want to do therapy and be happy myself, not be triggered by insensitive comments and precluded from feeling any sort of connection during a session because I'm re-experiencing the pain and anguish of feeling like an unloved child again.

Hi Petra

Some therapists' are very good at what they do and sometimes you don't realize that they are doing it.
Please follow my line of thinking for a bit
1. Your therapist knows you have resentment towards your parents. From your post here, that resentment still exists.
Perhaps, your therapist is trying to show you that not all families are created equal. Some are loving, and some by their own up bringing have no capacity to show love.
Without forcing the issue himself, perhaps your therapist understands the need for you to purge this resentment.
There is a big difference between venting with no resolution and cutting out the core of the pain in order to see it clearly for what it is, lack of a parent to have the ability to love.
Resentment and anger can be as deadly as cancer. It eats away and festers till it is removed.
There have been times when I was so busy feeling, I forgot I needed healing.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at begin to change.
I wish you good days ahead in finding contentment.