[sidony]

I keep thinking about how these forums are kind of like group therapy. Every discussion has an audience, anyone can jump in whenever they want or start a new topic, we all react and learn from one another, etc. I notice that I have emotional reactions to other people, that some topics or threads make me angry, etc. I'm very aware of how I feel. I also feel heard when I try to express myself. And all that's very similar to group therapy (minus the therapist leader's presence). We even manage to keep it pretty civil.

But obviously there are big differences: the cushion of anonymity and the virtually unlimited allowance of time to respond. That latter is what enables me to talk on here and feel like I'm being myself. The lack of that is what makes me so unsuccessful in group (I usually completely clam up or say things that I don't mean, etc. because I haven't had time to figure it out for myself).

Oh and one more thing: On here, you can walk away from a thread that upsets you and just stop responding to it. In group, you'll be asked how you feel. And the answer "forget it & move on to something else" doesn't really go very far. So there's a real inability to escape uncomfortable situations. I guess that's why I have such a hard time in group. I even find that I'm trying not to let my facial expressions show any of my emotional reaction since, in general, I don't want to be asked how I feel. (I guess that's me trying to cover for lacking the faceless anonymity we have online.)

And no PMing in real-life group therapy. I hate that you can't contact someone off to the side and figure out how they feel about everything. That'd be cheating in real group.

So those are just some things I'm thinking about right now. I'm supposed to go to group therapy tonight. No ideas whether I'll manage to really talk or not (I never know for sure in advance how I'm going to react though staying silent is a good guess). It's particularly annoying that I'm losing my voice today due to catching a cold.

Sidony

[Gracey]

I can't believe no one has responded to this thread. I agree Sidony. . .about the group therapy dynamic. I like it too b/c I don't get put on the spot and have time to actually formulate an answer that isn't emotionally charged, but then maybe that's the point of Group Therapy.

I quit GT. . .there was an unfair dynamic going on b/t group leader and one of the group (I wasn't the only person who picked up on it) and the final straw came the night I was told, "Well, how you feel about what so and so said isn't really as important as why she felt the need to say such and such." Excuse the bleep out of me? A yuh. . .I don't "do" group anymore.

[sunrise]

I've never been in group therapy so am not sure of all the similarities to PC discussions. There are certainly different personalities here and I like following people's stories from week to week. I am interested in them. (Did you once say, sidony, that you weren't really interested in the people in your group or what they have to say? --not sure I'm remembering correctly.) One of my worst "group" experiences was a monthlong stint on jury duty. Some of the people on my jury were so annoying and hard to deal with. It was torture to have to see them each day and work with them to form a consensus. Bad memories! I hope your group is not like that, sidony.

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sidony said:
I hate that you can't contact someone off to the side and figure out how they feel about everything. That'd be cheating in real group.

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It seems like it would more closely mirror real life too if you could have smaller, side conversations.

Have you seen the group therapy video at the website below? I saw this link posted in another forum here on PC. It has vids of actors playing patients with various psychiatric disorders. The group therapy vid has this poor, hapless therapist running a group in which each member has a different personality disorder. Poor guy! He's so ineffectual with this bunch, it's kind of funny.
http://www.hsc.wvu.edu/aap/Video/video_page.htm
(Scroll down to where it says "A Theoretical Group comprised of all 11 Personality Disorders.")

[lauren_helene]

I see your point Sidony I started out on message boards before entering therapy at all.

You're right you can say what you feel and then run and hide if you feel like it. In person, you say something and it's there...in the room with you.

[sidony]

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sunrise said:
(Did you once say, sidony, that you weren't really interested in the people in your group or what they have to say? --not sure I'm remembering correctly.)

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Yeah I'm pretty sure I would have said that. It's not really all that true though (well, sometimes it is). Sometimes I'm detached and my mind wanders. I'm mostly afraid to engage because I feel like I'm flubbing around trying to figure out what I think at the same time that I'm trying to talk. On PC, I figure out what I think before I start talking. Of course T tells me I can always go back to something that happened before (like digging up an old thread I guess), but I hate pulling stuff in when the context isn't there any more.

I'm really not good at group. I suppose that's why T wants me in there.

I'm gonna check out that video now & see if I can get it to play on my pitifully slow connection....

Thanks, Sidony

[purplemoon]

Sidony,

I have never been in group either. Part of me would be absolutely terrified but after reading the above - I think it might be nice. I love it here people are so wonderful. Of course I come and go - and that probably would be a problem if I were in a group. But it would be nice to have others that understand. I come here because people get it or are in it and I don't think many people get it. Maybe they do and I am just to closed to realize it. I am never as open in real life as I am here - there is the anonymity.