[Bipolarchic14]

I see so many people on here concerned with something their therapist did or did not do. They forgot to deliver what they promised, they laughed when they should have shown concern, they did not respond to an email etc. I think people forget that therapists are human beings with flaws just like everyone else. My therapist said something very logical. If you are upset about something or wonder what was meant by something your therapist said, just ask them!

Going to a side story for anyone interested. To some degree they are putting on an act to express concern. I remember one time I had a really bad group therapy day. I was sobbing like the entire time. Really embarrassing. So when I went to my individual session, as soon as I sat down, she had that look of deep concern and asked how I was doing. I was having a much better day so I was like I am doing fine. Her look immediately changed to happy. It was so weird.

[Waterbear]

In answer to your simple question, a simple answer. Yes, quite probably.

[Waterbear]

Your story does not to me mean that it is an act. Can one not go from genuinely concerned to happy when faced with another person in front of them. She could have been genuinely concerned that you were struggling and then, when it turned out you were not, she was genuinely happy for you. I am not sating that there is not sometimes an act, but are you not over thinking her actions?

Sorry if this sounds mean in anyway, it is not meant as such. I am guilty as ever of a large amount of over thinking and wish I could reduce this but it is who I am and I think learning to accept it may better serve me.

I don't think I over think things. When my T does little things, sometimes they trigger a huge amount of emotion. I wouldn't have believed it possible if I hadn't experienced this. The little things seem to trigger emotion in me that is from a very young age. I agree with you that the best thing to do is to talk about it. I think it needs a talented T to be able to respond to it. It's also so hard to bring things up. I wouldn't say I over think things - more that I over feel things.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

I don't think I over think things. When my T does little things, sometimes they trigger a huge amount of emotion. I wouldn't have believed it possible if I hadn't experienced this. The little things seem to trigger emotion in me that is from a very young age. I agree with you that the best thing to do is to talk about it. I think it needs a talented T to be able to respond to it. It's also so hard to bring things up. I wouldn't say I over think things - more that I over feel things.

I understand this but you are recognizing it as a trigger which is healthy. I am talking about people who take their therapists actions as a direct offense. One person mentioned her therapist would get back to her as to whether they could fit her in. When the therapist did not rather than call them and say hey you did not reach out she thought it was the therapist overlooking her, if I remember the situation right, with my memory who knows! Let's face it, everyone forgets things, sometimes there is not a deeper meaning then that.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Your story does not to me mean that it is an act. Can one not go from genuinely concerned to happy when faced with another person in front of them. She could have been genuinely concerned that you were struggling and then, when it turned out you were not, she was genuinely happy for you. I am not sating that there is not sometimes an act, but are you not over thinking her actions?

Sorry if this sounds mean in anyway, it is not meant as such. I am guilty as ever of a large amount of over thinking and wish I could reduce this but it is who I am and I think learning to accept it may better serve me.

True. It was just weird to see the transition. It seemed fake! Weirded me out. I would far rather someone not show empathy at all if they are just acting.

[Chummy2]

I know I'm overthinking things often. I find it hard to trust T's about whether they like me and really care and are really interested in me. T's can't just say everything to a client and I doubt if T is always honest.

[atisketatasket]

I'm not so sure the problem is the actual over thinking so much as the not dealing with it directly (as you say, asking is a good way to deal with it). That way things fester and the situation might get worse.

We all over think in every kind of relationship, therapy is no exception. But therapy might be a good place to learn how to deal with the consequences of over thinking with communication.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I'm not so sure the problem is the actual over thinking so much as the not dealing with it directly (as you say, asking is a good way to deal with it). That way things fester and the situation might get worse.

We all over think in every kind of relationship, therapy is no exception. But therapy might be a good place to learn how to deal with the consequences of over thinking with communication.

Good point. It should be a safe place to learn how to communicate concern better and to learn things about what triggers you

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by Chummy2

I know I'm overthinking things often. I find it hard to trust T's about whether they like me and really care and are really interested in me. T's can't just say everything to a client and I doubt if T is always honest.

I have the same issue with concern on whether they like me. I can be a real b**** when hypomanic. So I would not blame her if she did not like me. I don't think I would ask if she liked me. If she said yes I would not believe her. If she said no I would be hurt.