[rothfan6]

Its been over a year, at least, of talking with my T and deciding if I should see a psychiatrist. I finally got up the courage to make an appointment three weeks ago. My T has said from the first conversation that he would write up something that I could take with me. My appointment is in about 9 hrs and my T sent me a message earlier saying he doesn’t think he should write it and wanted to know if I would be ok with that. I told him no and I still wanted it but he hasn’t responded. I don’t know what to do. The letter was like a security blanket and made it tolerable, and took some of the pressure off me to explain why i’m there. He’s bailing on me in a huge way and its really upsetting on top of all the anxiety from the appointment. I should have just cancelled, now if I don’t go I’ve go to pay $75 dollars. I’ll have to quit therapy, i don’t see I can trust him anymore if he bails like this. I cant understand why he would wait this close to when I go to change his mind like this?

[kecanoe]

I am sorry about your t bailing on this, but I would like to reassure you somewhat on seeing the psychiatrist. I was terrified my first visit as well. The pdoc asked me how I was feeling and I told him I was terrified. He just nicely replied that my feelings were the usual ones. And he was kind and caring.

[rothfan6]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

I am sorry about your t bailing on this, but I would like to reassure you somewhat on seeing the psychiatrist. I was terrified my first visit as well. The pdoc asked me how I was feeling and I told him I was terrified. He just nicely replied that my feelings were the usual ones. And he was kind and caring.

Hopefully I can go and mine is as nice as yours. Right now I just feel like cancelling and never seeing my t again. Do you remember what questions they asked?

[Amy Today]

My pdoc is like therapist number two. While pdocs tend to be there for the sciency side of things, most have empathy. They will ask questions to see if they can ascertain a dx, just like a T will. And then they will let you know if meds might help you. You should go.

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

[kecanoe]

Why I was there, how long I had been feeling awful, was I actively suicidal, what I was doing to try to help.

[LonesomeTonight]

I hope you decided to go to the pdoc. How did it go, if you went? And I'd suggest going to your next T appointment and talking about how upset you were that he didn't write the letter for you.

[rothfan6]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I hope you decided to go to the pdoc. How did it go, if you went? And I'd suggest going to your next T appointment and talking about how upset you were that he didn't write the letter for you.

I went, I just got home. It was easier than I thought it would be. She was easy to talk to and understanding. I got a prescription for prozac. It's kind of scary to think about, I could go in and say anything as long as I new the symptoms and get medication. She didn't even use the questioners they had me fill out. My t did send the letter at 1am. I was convinced he wasn't going to and pretty mad at him. I feel stupid now and hate my brain

[Waterbear]

I am pleased for you that it went well and that your T listened to you and sent the letter. That was an honest bit of communication between you and it worked out well. He said what he thought and asked if that was OK. You told him how it was for you and he met you there. Don't hate your brain, it is marvellous but sometimes just needs these positive interactions to improve it.

[rothfan6]

It was a pretty big step to tell him what I needed instead of just accepting and going a long with his idea that he didnt need to write it. So I am proud of that

[skeksi]

I think that's remarkable! And I'm glad he listened and responded to what you said. That's some trust building for you. I hope the medication has a positive effect for you!

I'm so glad you went and that it went well, and that your t did write the letter. Good for you asking for what you need. I hope the medication works for you!!

[rothfan6]

Originally Posted by artemis-within

I'm so glad you went and that it went well, and that your t did write the letter. Good for you asking for what you need. I hope the medication works for you!!

Thanks! Hopefully it does. Now I've got the other hurdle of actually taking it. I haven't got the prescription filled yet. Too many worries. If it does help, feeling ok is going to be really strange.

It is different at first, feeling ok. I remember when I first went to pdoc, my h took me because he was so worried about me - I'd had a breakdown at work and my gp had given me a note for a week off, so i'd be able to get into pdoc, and all i could do upon sitting down in the chair across from him with h next to me when he asked how he could help was to just sit there and cry. h had to tell him what was going on i couldn't stop crying long enough to talk. he put me on Zoloft and trazodone, and thus began the process of saving my life. I am so grateful to him. When the black cloud of depression first started to dissipate within a week or two, I went between not knowing how I felt and feeling weird before I finally was able to believe I was starting to feel better. That black cloud had become so pervasive, so self-perpetuating, I honestly had forgotten there was any other way to exist. It took me another year or so before I felt ready to start talk therapy, and that completed the healing.