i feel really bad i dont know what to do i am so scared and i feel like i am about to cry and i am trying to hold on but i dont think i can the demons are scaring me and they are mad and it is my fault and i really dont know what to do i feel like i cant ignore them or something really horribly bad is going to happen and that will be my fault too. i cant explain it i just i need i am sorry i just dont know what to do i am meant to be seeing my psychologist in a few days and i kind of want to tell him but then i dont know if that would be bad. i am scared he would send me back to the other hospital again i really dont feel in control i am not i dont know i really dont feel good. should i tell my psychologist? would it be bad the demons dont want me to i cant everything hurts i really dont know what to do would it be bad if i told him ugh i want i am sorry i am so sorry.

My opinion is that no, it would not be a bad thing for you to tell your psychologist.

You are in my thoughts, and I hope so much that you will get some relief from all your pain, soon, and start feeling a little less bad.

But do you think he would send me back to the other hospital again I am scared I really don't know what to do anymore and something bad happened and now I am even more scared.

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by eden1515

But do you think he would send me back to the other hospital again I am scared I really don't know what to do anymore and something bad happened and now I am even more scared.

Let him know how bad the other hospital is. From my recollection he was not happy with them as well. Perhaps he can speed things up with this better hospital in getting you in. I do wish you the best.

I just really feel like I can't hold on anymore I am so tired.

[kecanoe]

I hate that feeling. Sorry you are having to endure it.

[guilloche]

Eden, I'm sorry things are so hard right now.

I think you should talk to your therapist... I think you have to. You need an ally in this fight, and he can't help you if he doesn't know what's going on. Do you trust him, and believe that he is on your side?

Can you talk to him about the hospital? Is there a different one that would be better for you?

Lots of hugs, hang in there... you're in my thoughts.

i trust him more than i used to idk i am just scared i wont make it to the other hospital and end up back in the hospital i was in before. i just feel horrible i dont even know what to do i cant take this everything hurts so much

[bookgirl667]

Yes, if you (or anyone reading this) ever has the thought, "This is so bad I can't stand it," you should definitely tell your psychologist. Let him know how much help you need and how much you don't want to go to the bad hospital. Hopefully, he can expedite getting you the help you need.

i guess i will try i am just ugh i am so tired.

[guilloche]

Hey Eden... when are you scheduled to see your T again? Do you have an email address for them, or a way to text? Would it be easier to let them know what's going on that way? Maybe they could call you then to talk about it?

Take care... I hope you can get some rest, and start feeling better soon!

Originally Posted by guilloche

Hey Eden... when are you scheduled to see your T again? Do you have an email address for them, or a way to text? Would it be easier to let them know what's going on that way? Maybe they could call you then to talk about it?

Take care... I hope you can get some rest, and start feeling better soon!

I have their phone number but it is more for like an emergency and they are terrible at replying anyway but I am supposed to see them in a few days.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by eden1515

I have their phone number but it is more for like an emergency and they are terrible at replying anyway but I am supposed to see them in a few days.

This seems like an emergency based on how you said you're feeling...

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

This seems like an emergency based on how you said you're feeling...

I would still feel too guilty calling or texting like I am being a nuisance

[guilloche]

I don't know if this helps... but I think I'm pretty impartial. I don't know you personally, and don't know your T. Given what you've described, I don't think that calling would be a nuisance at all... it sounds like exactly the type of situation where you're supposed to call.

Just my opinion. If you're really worried about it, maybe you could call just once. Calling once is almost never a nuisance... it's usually repeated calls that bother people.

Hang in there. Hopefully you get to talk to your T soon!

Originally Posted by guilloche

I don't know if this helps... but I think I'm pretty impartial. I don't know you personally, and don't know your T. Given what you've described, I don't think that calling would be a nuisance at all... it sounds like exactly the type of situation where you're supposed to call.

Just my opinion. If you're really worried about it, maybe you could call just once. Calling once is almost never a nuisance... it's usually repeated calls that bother people.

Hang in there. Hopefully you get to talk to your T soon!

I think maybe if I do anything I will text him I am just not sure if I should bother plus idk it is hard to explain.