Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Jun 22, 2016, 10:22 PM
rhode island red rhode island red is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 18
I saw a therapist for 8 years. She literally knew me better than myself sometimes. Last fall, I had experienced some deeply concerning suicidal thinking and she got me to agree to go to the ER. After 2 1/2 days there, the social worker got me a referral to a DBT program. When I got established in one, I was told I couldn't see her while in the program. Before the program ended, I realized i wouldn't be back to see her. I had developed some deep emotions towards her and felt love from her that I could never get anywhere else. It's been 7 months since I've seen her and I still miss her very much. There were things about the relationship that weren't the healthiest but overall, I wouldn't be alive if it hadn't been for her. I can't go back to her. I've changed too much. I just wish we could have had a friendship outside of the office. I just don't know how to let her go-even though I know it really was for the best.
Hugs from:
annielovesbacon, Anonymous37904, Anonymous37917, Cinnamon_Stick, Coco3, growlycat, LonesomeTonight, Out There, rainbow8, unaluna, Yours_Truly
Thanks for this!
ShrinkPatient

advertisement
  #2  
Old Jun 23, 2016, 07:26 AM
Waterbear Waterbear is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: England
Posts: 2,431
Have you actually worked through the loss in therapy? I am sorry you are struggling, I am in a similar struggle and my T acknowledged with me today that we had overlooked a very important thing because we had not discussed my relationship with my previous T, someone who, like you, had shown me 'love' and 'caring' like no other person. I was with her for such a short period of time in comparison to you and your T though and that has been hard enough. I can't imagine what you are feeling but it doesn't sound resolved to me. Hugs if you want them.

Last edited by Waterbear; Jun 23, 2016 at 07:45 AM. Reason: Spelling
  #3  
Old Jun 23, 2016, 07:38 AM
rhode island red rhode island red is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 18
Thank you waterbear. I honestly hadn't thought to work through the loss of her. I've been utilizing DBT skills and radical acceptance is one of them. But I think I'm not done grieving yet. I will talk to my current therapist about it. Thanks for your input.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
Thanks for this!
Waterbear
  #4  
Old Jun 23, 2016, 03:46 PM
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 9,016
Why can't you see her again? Have you tried communicating with her?

I had a T I saw for 4 years. The clinic got bought out and she decided to transfer instead of staying with the new clinic. She allowed me to stay in contact with her via email. I was only allowed one email a year, but it really helped. She stopped emailing back last year, but she emailed for 10 years. It's okay though. She didn't abandon me. I got my closure with her.

I think closure is really important. I didn't get it with ex-T. My current T and I have worked on it for a year. Still miss her some days. And I'm still trying to learn to hold onto the positives despite the negatives. But overall I'm doing better.
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
  #5  
Old Jun 26, 2016, 11:23 AM
InRealLife45's Avatar
InRealLife45 InRealLife45 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,430
Quote:
Originally Posted by rhode island red View Post
I saw a therapist for 8 years. She literally knew me better than myself sometimes. Last fall, I had experienced some deeply concerning suicidal thinking and she got me to agree to go to the ER. After 2 1/2 days there, the social worker got me a referral to a DBT program. When I got established in one, I was told I couldn't see her while in the program. Before the program ended, I realized i wouldn't be back to see her. I had developed some deep emotions towards her and felt love from her that I could never get anywhere else. It's been 7 months since I've seen her and I still miss her very much. There were things about the relationship that weren't the healthiest but overall, I wouldn't be alive if it hadn't been for her. I can't go back to her. I've changed too much. I just wish we could have had a friendship outside of the office. I just don't know how to let her go-even though I know it really was for the best.
why dont you want to go back? you feel youve grown past the point where she can help you?
  #6  
Old Jun 26, 2016, 11:30 AM
rhode island red rhode island red is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 18
The relationship had become too personal. I loved her too much and I know she has feelings of genuine care, maybe love too. I just know it was unhealthy from a clinical point of view. And yes, I felt like I had outgrown her. I needed a new perspective. But I still miss her very much. I wish we could be friends outside of the office but that wouldn't be healthy either. I need to talk to new therapist about all this. I know I'll be okay. It's just going to take time. Thank you.
Hugs from:
precaryous
Reply
Views: 968

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:44 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.