[rhode island red]

I saw a therapist for 8 years. She literally knew me better than myself sometimes. Last fall, I had experienced some deeply concerning suicidal thinking and she got me to agree to go to the ER. After 2 1/2 days there, the social worker got me a referral to a DBT program. When I got established in one, I was told I couldn't see her while in the program. Before the program ended, I realized i wouldn't be back to see her. I had developed some deep emotions towards her and felt love from her that I could never get anywhere else. It's been 7 months since I've seen her and I still miss her very much. There were things about the relationship that weren't the healthiest but overall, I wouldn't be alive if it hadn't been for her. I can't go back to her. I've changed too much. I just wish we could have had a friendship outside of the office. I just don't know how to let her go-even though I know it really was for the best.

[Waterbear]

Have you actually worked through the loss in therapy? I am sorry you are struggling, I am in a similar struggle and my T acknowledged with me today that we had overlooked a very important thing because we had not discussed my relationship with my previous T, someone who, like you, had shown me 'love' and 'caring' like no other person. I was with her for such a short period of time in comparison to you and your T though and that has been hard enough. I can't imagine what you are feeling but it doesn't sound resolved to me. Hugs if you want them.

[rhode island red]

Thank you waterbear. I honestly hadn't thought to work through the loss of her. I've been utilizing DBT skills and radical acceptance is one of them. But I think I'm not done grieving yet. I will talk to my current therapist about it. Thanks for your input.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Why can't you see her again? Have you tried communicating with her?

I had a T I saw for 4 years. The clinic got bought out and she decided to transfer instead of staying with the new clinic. She allowed me to stay in contact with her via email. I was only allowed one email a year, but it really helped. She stopped emailing back last year, but she emailed for 10 years. It's okay though. She didn't abandon me. I got my closure with her.

I think closure is really important. I didn't get it with ex-T. My current T and I have worked on it for a year. Still miss her some days. And I'm still trying to learn to hold onto the positives despite the negatives. But overall I'm doing better.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by rhode island red

I saw a therapist for 8 years. She literally knew me better than myself sometimes. Last fall, I had experienced some deeply concerning suicidal thinking and she got me to agree to go to the ER. After 2 1/2 days there, the social worker got me a referral to a DBT program. When I got established in one, I was told I couldn't see her while in the program. Before the program ended, I realized i wouldn't be back to see her. I had developed some deep emotions towards her and felt love from her that I could never get anywhere else. It's been 7 months since I've seen her and I still miss her very much. There were things about the relationship that weren't the healthiest but overall, I wouldn't be alive if it hadn't been for her. I can't go back to her. I've changed too much. I just wish we could have had a friendship outside of the office. I just don't know how to let her go-even though I know it really was for the best.

why dont you want to go back? you feel youve grown past the point where she can help you?

[rhode island red]

The relationship had become too personal. I loved her too much and I know she has feelings of genuine care, maybe love too. I just know it was unhealthy from a clinical point of view. And yes, I felt like I had outgrown her. I needed a new perspective. But I still miss her very much. I wish we could be friends outside of the office but that wouldn't be healthy either. I need to talk to new therapist about all this. I know I'll be okay. It's just going to take time. Thank you.