[wheeler]

I often leave my therapy session regretting not speaking about something, and I will often ruminate about my session for some time afterwards. I quit often have to fend off texting her for just some connection.

Anyone else? How do I get pass this?

[Argonautomobile]

I clear some free time--as much as possible--the day of my session. I like to think of it as my 'designated' rumination time. I ruminate. I regret. I journal and do something quiet and solitary. Then the rumination time is over and I do other things. I compartmentalize.

I found my rumination got a lot better as soon as I allowed myself to do it instead of feeling weak or guilty or indulgent for thinking about it. Would something like that work for you?

[ThisWayOut]

I find myself doing this a lot also. It helps if I journal as if I were writing to t and telling her all the things I didn't get to say in session. Sometimes I read it to her the next session, or I text her (either about what was unsaid, or just to find connection to her), or I send her an email with whatever it was I wanted to tell her. It was that way this past session. I ended up doing all of the abbot options I mentioned. I started out just journaling it, but then remembered t had asked me to reach out more if needed, so I text her asking if I could email what I had written... she gave her email again through text, and I sent it off...

I'm not sure if your t would be ok with any of that (well, the out-of-session communication. The journaling and reading/letting t read next session thing wouldn't really be an issue for many t's i don't think), but those are just some of the things that have worked for me. Sometimes it's easier to get to what I need to say, other times I can't get out of my own way during session... I don't often do the emailing thing, but I wanted to be more accountable for talking about that stuff next session. Usually, I just journaling about it and take that in with me whenever I see her next.

[wheeler]

I wish I could talk in therapy they same way I 'talk' to myself when I'm ruminating. I've been seeing this T, whom I really like, for about 8 months now. I wonder when/if I'll be comfortable enough to really talk to her, on a more regular basis.

[nottrustin]

OMG I was going to post something very similar. Sometimes I will email her after a session and mentioned what I needed to talk about so that we could discuss it the next week. She will bring up the topic and I will minimize or pretty much clam up.

[skeksi]

Originally Posted by wheeler

I wish I could talk in therapy they same way I 'talk' to myself when I'm ruminating.

I have this problem, too. I clam up when I sit on the couch, even if I have stuff I desperately want to share.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by wheeler

I wish I could talk in therapy they same way I 'talk' to myself when I'm ruminating.

Ditto. I always plan to, but when I actually get to session I find that I don't feel so bad, after all, and don't want to create a bad mood by forcing myself to talk about it. The session ends. Rumination and regret. Same thing happens next session. Lather, rinse, repeat.

[Soccer mom]

I used to be that way too with ex-T. I would have a "list", get in there and it was like my mind would go blank or I would minimize my feelings "it's not that bad". I would leave my session mad I didn't talk, ruminate and want to text her. I would write everything I wish I had said and sometimes read it in the next session. I found that once I wrote it and got it off my mind, it helped. But, if I was trying to figure something out, the thoughts could last for days.

My current T. allows email which helps. I usually email her that night with my regrets/thoughts and schedule another session. Those items go first on the list for the next session and she knows to bring them up to help me not clam up. I usually then email her the day before my next session with a list like "fear of spiders". I go in to more detail in my session.

My ex-T. didn't allow contact so it made it a lot more difficult. Of course, the best thing to do is to talk to your T. about it and hopefully she can come up with a plan to help you.

[therapyishelping777]

I have a list too, and sometimes, I get anxious about whats on my list and freeze,, then I'll say like "I'm stuck..."... not sure what to say first.. then he'll help me out .

[wheeler]

I did text my T and we'll hopefully talk more about this next week. And I 'regretfully' didn't ask if we could have a sessions sooner than next week.....and so it goes.

[AncientMelody]

Originally Posted by wheeler

I often leave my therapy session regretting not speaking about something, and I will often ruminate about my session for some time afterwards. I quit often have to fend off texting her for just some connection.

Anyone else? How do I get pass this?

I only saw my therapist once a month for the most part, so time was always at a premium. I often journal and would do so more in the week prior to therapy. So the day or two before I would write a list of topics/thoughts I wanted to focus on. We didn't ALWAYS stick right to my agenda and sometimes that was good in a different way. But it made it very helpful for me to feel like I made full use of my therapy time

[Shaly78]

I was actually talking about this in a post today. Alot of times we put off what is hard and what we need to do to care for ourselves psychologically. There is nothing wrong with you made it this far congratulations to you. Now, you probably are aged or just been through a whole lot and realize your mind realizes that you need this time this space to talk...It happened to me as well. It will subside especially once you get used to being your best coach. Unless something is chronic a diagnose(s) this is approach that you have to take. Use your journal, I'm glad you are on this site this is like home away from away in between session help...Lean on your friends and family also for extra help if you have anyone close that can listen to issues. Hopefully your not addicted to speaking you might want to make a career out of it, you'll be saying after several years lol....Your and T words need to be meaningful you also need to take some meaning out of it as well...It can be a good and bad thing.

[Coco3]

I prepare for session by writing down what I definitely want to talk about. I make sure I don't have anything else scheduled after, so I have the time to process what we talked about, to self soothe, to cry, to go for a walk and clear my mind. Also, I write everything I can remember from session in my journal.

Nine out of ten times, I email my T after one or more days. It helps me process too. I write thoughts and insights that have come to me and sometimes to mention things I forget to talk about.