Texting therapist on vacation

I've been seeing my T for about 4 months now, and she is about to go away on vacation for a couple of weeks. I've been going through a particularly rough patch recently, so this hasn't come at the best time. At the end of our last session she said I could text her whilst she was if I wanted, she would be checking her phone every couple of days.

I don't know if I should text her, somehow it seems to be pushing the boundaries a bit, although she did give me permission so clearly it is ok with her. I don't want to annoy her by sending her lots of texts and I want her to have a good break so she comes back rested and able to continue helping me. I have texted her a couple of times before, mainly to reschedule appointments and also once when I had some particularly bad news.

Do you text your therapists on vacation, or keep in touch with them in other ways (email, phone, Skype)?

Yes - Skype and email. It was her idea both times. I didn't do it a lot, though she seemed to think I could have done it more. If she said you could, you can. It's her job to mind the boundaries in the relationship.

No, I would not contact my therapist while he is on vacation. If I had an emergency, I would contact my pdoc or find other means of support because honestly, other than read an email or text, etc., there wouldn't be much he could do while he was on vacation. If it is an emergency, he'd have me contact my pdoc or go to the hospital.

Your T said contact her, so you do what you feel comfortable with. I just wouldn't feel personally comfortable doing so.

Yes, I have done this. All but one time, my therapist volunteered that I could email, with a caveat that she might not have reception at times.

I think it depends on your situation and need. If a therapist offers, then I would take that at face value and make contact if it's going to be helpful. For me, it has worked well and I'm glad I did. Don't judge yourself for it based on what other people do or think. This is between you and your therapist.

Yeh but it's usually just me asking him if he's still alive

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Yeah, I agree with what others have said -- if she said it's okay, do it.

My T has taken a short break for a few days -- so, I missed just one session -- a couple of times in the first six odd months after I started therapy. It didn't bother me.

But, later on, when she took a vacation, she still kept my session -- did it over the phone. I didn't ask for it and in fact, I said I was totally fine with missing it but she said that unless I wanted to miss it, she'd rather do it. So, I went ahead.

She's -- of her own admission -- very protective of her personal time. So, she doesn't offer any out-of-session contact unless it's for scheduling. So, I didn't feel any guilt about doing the vacation session.

This is also not the sort of stuff I'd feel any guilt about -- I figure if they're offering stuff, they believe they're being sufficiently compensated for it (even if it's not straight up money, it could be in their longer-term interest to do so to preserve a working alliance). Or else, they wouldn't do it. Everyone's an adult and so, if they're not comfortable, I would assume they'd be willing to say so and not offer it.

No. There's no contact with either of my T's when they're on vacation. There's only contact with them during their workhours. I can email them, but they won't read it or respond until they're back at work.
If she said you could send her a text, then it's alright to do it. Otherwise she wouldn't have offered it.

If it's okay with her I don't see a problem. Just don't flood her with lots of messages at once.

T1 allows me to contact her when she's on vacation, but I usually don't. Two years ago, however, she was off actually getting MARRIED, and I talked to her that very day (by text). I certainly wasn't expecting to hear from her the day she got married....

I've always been able to have contact with my T on her vacations, except for when she left to get married. I rarely have texted her when she's away though-I have other supports, and I want her to enjoy her time away. I very much appreciate how available she is though

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T1 allows texting during some of his vacations. I text him if I want, but I also know that probably all I will get from texting is knowing that he is there and will be back. Sometimes I need to know that.

T allows me to text no matter what she's doing, where she is, etc. She's always available to me no matter what she's doing in her personal life.

I don't think I've texted during an actual vacation (like when T or MC was out of town), but I did text my marriage counselor recently over a holiday weekend (like a 3-day weekend). And he wrote back. The next session, I said how I'd really wanted to call him because I was really struggling, but didn't want to bother him on a holiday weekend. And he said it would have been OK to call.

I feel like since your T specifically said it was OK to text, then it's fine. They wouldn't offer it if they weren't OK with it. I mean, don't text them every hour just to be like, "Hey, how's it going? I'm bored. Weather is kinda hot today" or something like that. But if you're in a bad place or just want to make sure T is still there, then I'd say go for it.

Oh wait, actually I did text MC once when he was out of town, but I didn't know he was away. I didn't hear back and followed up a couple days later (was concerned he was annoyed with me), and he said everything was fine, that he'd just been out of town and busy, so I was like, "Oh, sorry, didn't realize that!"

I know for me, just knowing that I COULD text her while she is away would be so comforting that I probably wouldn't even have to text her at all. Why don't you just resolve to only text her if it's an emergency or if you are truly troubled..... And as some people said, if she didn't want you to contact her she wouldn't have said that it was ok to do so.

Good luck!

PS: My therapist allows no texting, no emails, nothing but voice messages about re-scheduling appointments and such. She is a blank slate and does not open up about anything... Old school, I think.

T doesn't text anybody. She does phone and email. When she goes on vacation she has always said to email her if there are any issues. One time she was going out of the country and new something painful was coming up midway through her vacation. She told me she wanted me to email her but I told her I didn't want to bother her. To which she said, I get to decide when people can and can't contact her. If ever bother her she will let me know.

If she said it's okay to text then I would hope she actually meant it. I suppose I'd just be clear about what sort of response you're hoping for. I understand they don't even acknowledge the text sometimes unless you explicitly ask for it.

I only call my T to book appointments. Between sessions and during vacations I guess I'm supposed to breathe mindfully or some ****. We've never talked about it.

Hope things work out.

I would tend to take her at face value and text her if you need to.

I have contacted my therapist on his vacations. He has always encouraged me to reach out if I need help, and it's been so useful. I tend to only reach out when I am a little overwhelmed, and I generally try to help myself first by talking to friends or whatever, but if I need help I have learned to ask for it, which has been enormously helpful.

I personally would not. I do not think it is a good habit to get into. Texting is tiring and intrusive to me personally. I would try to find other ways to soothe myself.

I have texted my T before, but mainly for appointment changes. Never wanted to bother her.

No, I don't text my T while he's on vacation.

Its his personal time and I respect it, even when encouraged to reach out.

I would not feel comfortable infringing on someone's personal time. At all.




My T's last vacation I was going through some rough stuff and didn't want a stand in, so I stuck to journaling until he returned and then we addressed those topics.

A problem that some people want therapy work done while texting. Too much room for misunderstandings, I think.

But for an occasional check in, I think it's fine.

My T tells me to contact my Pdoc when she is away. He is in the same practice so its no big deal. I know my pdoc will be able to deal with my issues.

When former T was on vacation for 4 wks, she said it was ok if I emailed her. I did a few times. She responded though not right away. I felt guilty and thanked for her support. But much later I realized she loved getting those emails. Far from being an imposition, it was actually therapy for her and it's what she lives for. To be needed. I believe she became a therapist for precisely that reason.

strictly face to face appointments - emergencies or otherwise.

I would not worry about the therapist - if they gave out their information and said one could contact them -then I would take them at their word. The part that I would think might need caution is the stress of waiting for a reply and possibly getting a poor or unsatisfactory reply. I think texts are inadequate for most communications except for the most perfunctory. I hate typing them and if someone wants a more thorough reply from me, I do it by phone, in person, or sometimes by email (which can still have the same difficulties with interpretation and disappointing responses). So if one can deal with the high probability of a short and delayed response - I see no problem with doing it.