[Schizoid_1]

I have been seeing a new T for the last two weeks but am really struggling with coming to terms with not seeing the last T (who I had been seeing for a year). I feel like an emotional wreck and have been unable to shake off the despair.

Did you guys manage to get over your past Ts? Did you get in touch with them? Do sessions aimed at closure really bring closure?

Back Story: T suggested a couple of weeks ago that therapy with her approach is not working (after I refused to talk about my SI) and that I should think about her referring me to someone else. I had dreaded that moment for weeks but was desensitized to it enough that I had compartmentalized the thoughts/emotions and agreed to her suggestion halfheartedly. At the end of the session, she asked me to read a book, think about the session and get back to her with an answer after I had put more thought behind my decision.

The next day, I informed her that I was planning to meet a new T (and not the one she referred). Pdoc had referred the new T to me and my T did not think that seeing her would benefit me because I cannot afford to see new T 3x a week.

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry this is a struggle you are facing right now... switching t's can be difficult even if you are in control of the terms...

Personally, i've found closure sessions helpful, when they are actually closure sessions (I've had some that were handled poorly on either or both ends). It still sucked to switch, but a good closure session can help, but then again, I'm also a person who needs that closure.

Is therapy 3x's a week necessary for you (not what t says, but what you find helpful and supportive)? If you feel you can do without it, and you like this new t,then it may be worth trying. Another question though, did you tell t you were going to take her up on the referral because you felt rejected, or because you really believe that there's no real hope with that t. it sounded like she was trying (poorly) to get you to think about what you want/need from therapy. Am I correct in reading that she gave you the choice to continue therapy with her, or take the referral?

[Schizoid_1]

She said that seeing a new therapist was going to be my decision and that she was not going to impose it on me. She suggested that I meet new potential Ts and then take a decision. Then after a few days, when I asked if I could give her reference on a university form (university admitted patients on a low fee), she refused and said that I should give new T more time. I felt like since I was not seeing her anymore, our association had ended and that I should not contact her and it really hurt.

I am seeing new T once a week and would like to see where it goes with this frequency.

[kecanoe]

For me, sessions for closure didn't help. My t was retiring and gave lots of notice; he wanted me to be able to process it with him. We tried for about 6 months, and then agreed that each session was retraumatizing me. The next session we went over some testing that I wanted to review and in the last few minutes, said that I was done. He was kind and respectful. I needed to just quit.

[Waterbear]

I am not sure I ever had a closure session. We had a session that ended up being the last one, for now, but it wasn't focussed on closure. I was going to go back but thought it would make the transition even harder to be honest. We parted on good terms and with her leaving the door open though so I know if I need her then she is there, but neither of us want anything to interfere in the work I am doing with new T, and we both think that seeing her would interfere. It has been hard accepting that I couldn't continue to see her but, with New T being who and how she is, it has been made easier.

It is a hard situation but with time it does get easier.