Worried my T is annoyed with me

I'm worried my T is annoyed with me. I'm worried she's sick of me and frustrated with me and hates me. I've been feeling a lot worse lately, and I'm worried she's upset that I'm not better yet. I've been seeing her for almost a year now, and I'm still having suicidal thoughts and self harming. I'm so scared she's going to leave me, and I don't know what to do. I think she's frustrated that I don't talk more and open up more. I still say "I don't know" very often. Tonight we spoke on the phone, and she seemed annoyed with me. We spoke on the phone yesterday too, and I feel like she's annoyed that I'm so needy and annoying. She also seemed upset with me for not telling the people in the partial hospitalization program that I self harmed yesterday. I just feel awful and I'm terrified of her leaving me or hating me or getting sick of me. Please help.

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I'd just approach the topic head on. Ask her, or say something like, "I feel like I'm not making progress fast enough, do you have any suggestions?" She might be annoyed with you, but that doesn't mean she'll leave you.

what did she do that made you think she was annoyed by the phone call??

i think im annoying my T 85% of the time. i ask him if i am....straight up. or if hes mad at me, or what ever. i ask to check it out and slow down/stop the insane obsessive thoughts in my mind. there was one time he told me i did annoy him, but it was understandable. cuz i was being annoying and because he was honest with me that time i know hes not gonna lie to me if i ask

Are you concerned that she's annoyed or concerned that she will terminate because of being annoyed? Because I see the first as pretty commonplace with any two people over time.

If it's the second concern, then it would be worth asking your therapist under what circumstances she has terminated therapy in the past (if she has at all). Mine recently told me of the two times in over 20 years that she terminated someone, and both examples were extreme and far from anything that would happen with me.

I do think it's possible to annoy someone just by asking them over and over if you are being annoying, but with a therapist the thing is to ask if there is a level of annoyance that leads to termination. I doubt she will say yes. If she does, that would be a good thing. Who needs a therapist who can't handle someone else's emotions and insecurities?

I worried about this a lot with PrevT. I didn't had the guts to ask her if she was annoyed by me. I don't know if she was. It just felt like it. Maybe I expected it, because of previous experiences with T. I never really talked a lot and T's and also group member would often have comments about that. Now I think that if I don't talk much then people will get annoyed by me.

I talked about this with current T today in session. She told me: if a T would feel annoyed by a client, then that T should look at herself. Usually it's something that is about T. A client should be able to tell what she wants to tell. There are usually issues that have been there for years and the clients should be able to talk about it of many times she want. The client should be able to be herself in sessions. If a T would get enough of a client (T doesn't want to see client anymore) then that T should take a good look at herself because I good T shouldn't get to get ''enough'' of a client. My T said that if she feels like she can't be the best T for the client and can't help the client anymore, she would be honest about that.

She told me something like this. I've tried my best to write down what I could remember. But it would be a good things to talk to your T about your feelings. You can tell or show what you've written down here.