Couch 121: An Intimate Chat.

Maybe she signed it with her eyes closed.

Maybe she put the pen between her toes to sign it.

Or her teeth.

I am sure she is fine, art.

need something to occupy my paranoid mind until i see t in a week so i can (hopefully) find out there's nothing wrong with her and it was all in my head. sheesh.

now there's a visual. signing it with the pen between her toes.

eh, it's just because i've been thinking about her kinda obsessively this week for no good reason. i'll get over it. i always do...

I picture your therapist art at the atm trying to sign the check. Unless she uses an app to cash her checks?

New cat threw up. Then she ate it. I thought only dogs did that.

But now I don't have to clean it up!

I don't know what my cat would do - he never gets the chance - the dogs are right there as soon as they hear him start. It is like they think of him as a vending machine.

my two older cats try to cover it up as if there's cat litter on the floor, but the kitten eats it if we don't clean it up immediately. i shudder to think what goes on around here when nobody is home but them.

Boy you really hate therapists.

It reminds me of some Law and Order episodes where the character is basically burnt out from crime ie he is being dropped from the show, so he has this epiphany that his life can be about more than crime.

Do you think maybe defending your clients victimized by ts is burning you out? Can you stop?

Eta omg i just read all the cat puke posts. Seriously people??!

What, you never post anything gross? (I was never so interested in underg's till I met you.) Are you judging us for our interest in cat puke?

Not judging exactly. I just almost added some human puke to the conversation!!

When two ropes are tied, both must bend.

Crocus made a Facebook post 16 hours ago.
She seemed cheerful enough.

That was a dealbreaker? It seems pretty harmless to me.

Reread the first fifteen books.

Good morning everyone. Had a terrible nightmare last night but playing the games here at PC has made me feel a little better.

I do really hate/have no respect for, as a general position, those guys/that profession.
And why would I want to stop helping my own clients? I like helping clients defeat therapists. I like representing the underdog and beating up on goliath. I have no reason to stop. I don't mind hating them. And how I feel about them makes no difference to them.

Finally - the decision to cancel due to increased contempt at their ilk would seem to me to be a kindness to them. From what we read on here, therapists are delicate hot house flowers who whither under conflict and lack of adoration - so I take it that staying away from them when contempt is running high would be a kindness to them - not a negative.

Although not the poster who endured that statement from a therapist, I am not in favor of a therapist who tries to tell me they are all warmish - and also any therapist who talks about themselves, cuddles and clients in the same sentence is way too wacko for me.

What SD said. Plus I'm against anything that even resembles cuddling from a therapist. It suggests they are more interested in acting as a surrogate parent rather than professionally helping a client. Some people might want emotional cuddles. I don't.

Thank you, Lord Grantham!

What if love is the answer? What if making an emotional connection is the answer? What if youre stuck with me? (I dont know what that means )

A temporary professional relationship should not be some kind of love hack.

Umm - youve got it backwards. As to what your focus is. A permanent love relationship should not be a trainwreck. So we do what needs to be done so that doesnt happen again.

Eta - that feels like the smartest thing i ever said. I do feel safe from effing up again, love-wise. Only took 40 effing years. And people DO visit Antarctica now!

I agree that for me it most assuredly should not and would not be something I wanted or needed. I suppose there are others who could find it useful.

So, if I were to parse out the "emotionally cuddling" stuff, here's what bothers me -- the word cuddle (am not against cuddling I swear).

At my first session with current T, when I was going on about former T's crap, she mentioned that former T didn't seem very attuned to me and I wasn't feeling emotionally "held" in therapy. Normally, I would've run for the hills if most other Ts would've said it -- but, her demeanor in general (and the way she said it as well) is all just very matter-of-fact (not at all smothering or cloying).

She pointed out then that given my presenting issues, it's rather hard -- if not impossible -- to continue in therapy in the absence of that sort of an emotional space. At the risk of sounding completely besotted then, she's the first and only T to have gotten what it felt like emotionally to be in therapy with former T.

So, I guess I do believe there is some sort of an emotional space that needs to be created -- surrogate parent creeps me out too and former T's annoyance at my refusal to see her as maternal was weird.

But, to add to what's been said, I think the emotional space needs to be in the context of a professional relationship. At some point, I guess if both T and client feel that it has evolved into something more resembling a "familial" sort of relationship, then that's great.

But, if not, for a T to set off on that path from the get-go shows poor skills. And also, to me, smacks of insecurity i.e., they don't have enough faith in their skills as a T and so, they have to resort to what feels like cheap emotional tricks to work with a client.

P.S. Also, my apologies -- I'm realizing I'm still incredibly hurt and angry at former T and so, at least right now, I'm not feeling terribly generous or expansive.