Couch 121: An Intimate Chat.

Lol! Poor lord grantham was always coming up with these "bon mots", and his mom kept saying, "where did you read that?" He was like, "i made it up myself, shutty!!" i thought it was of that caliber, that violet would accuse you

So this kinda goes along with an observation that I received from one of the facilitators at my drumming group, who gives readings to people, a couple weeks ago she did a reading for me and told me "You can't keep holding onto the chrysalis". I told t that I felt like my relationship with her is that chrysalis - it has been the agent of change, where I turned into a butterfly, but that butterfly can't fly if it holds onto the chrysalis. That's when we started talking about taking a break again, and I got all triggery about 'taking a break' not giving me the closure I want blah blah blah and so I haven't taken a break yet. That chrysalis is damned sticky!!! I guess training wheels are too...

Maybe its not your t who is glueing your wings.

Big Jedi hugs, QM. And, speaking as one who has Dissociative Identity Disorder, you will get used to having that diagnosis. And things will get better.

It is also worth noting that some other diagnoses have dissociation as a symptom. PTSD for example. And there are grounding techniques that will eventually help. It took me a long time, but things are finally getting better.

You are very wise. I hadn't shared this yet but now I think I want to. The gal who did my reading, I asked her for more information, basically she told me that - without knowing the context - she said something about she sees a pot, representing wholeness, but that I have a concern, and the problem is that I am over-concerned and that makes the concern take on a life of it's own and she said it's like if I continue that way, she sees an incompleteness, a "shattering of the pot", no wholeness. And that she sees that I need to tap into the masculine energy inside me that is authoritative, so that I can act with authority even if I don't feel it, and then it will come. (this last bit, to me sounds like my animus, and that is something i've been working with in t, connecting with my animus.)

This spoke volumes to me and makes even more sense to me now that I actually wrote it down.

This. So much of what I used to think was shameful and weird turned out to be totally normal symptoms of PTSD that didn't come up on my Internet searches. I still dissociate a lot and feel broken into pieces of myself sometimes, but I have a bit more control over it and it is not nearly as distressing now that I understand it and can talk about it with my T.

So my son had his first class last night (the new advanced one, after testing out of the more basic one). It's a Machining class, and they're learning how to write the programs that the CNC machines run. He's working on an assignment to write the program that will make a certain part - he showed me a sketch of the part, that has all the dimensions and measurements and stuff. I look at it, and the code i guess it's called that he's done so far and I can't understand any of it. He's so smart.

eta: i sorta feel like forrest gump when he's talking to Jenny at her grave and says "He's so smart, Jenny."

Hi couch. T1's website has gone down. It went down shortly before he contacted me (unsolicited) earlier this year. I asked him about it when he contacted me and he said he was redesigning the website. But months later there is no new webpage. Why does this bother me? I don't know. And maybe I shouldn't worry about it. But I really want to set up a pretend email and email him asking if he's still taking on clients. I don't know why I want this and I wonder why I feel this way. I keep telling myself I'm no longer attached to him and I think that's true but I'm still so damn curious! Can I have an objective opinion on what a bad idea this is?

It's a bad idea. If nothing else, he might realize it was you. And just reopening contact with him in any form would be a bad, bad, bad idea.

Is it because maybe you want to keep an eye on him?

Oh, I think I do want to keep an eye on him! I also want to test him. And to know how he would interact with someone other than me. The best thing I ever did was to break contact with him. I know it's silly but I feel disempowered by not knowing what is going on in terms of his business!

you're right, probably a bad idea. but i can certainly understand the wanting to test him.

It is really nice to see a parent so proud of their child. It warms my heart.

Virginia Tech has the worst looking football uniforms I have seen in a long time.

Clearly you have never watched a baseball game on a day the players are wearing retro uniforms.

I did not even know there was such a thing as retro baseball uniform day. I do like the old fashioned baggy ones for baseball players

And ... I'm aware that our time is up.

Is somebody making a new couch yet?

Just wanted to say hello. A lot has been going on and I've been here but just didn't have words.

May I just say hello?

Trying to think of something more to say but it's just not there.

Glad y'all are here! Thank you!!

Retro uniforms usually involve the tight-pants 1970s style.

Why don't you do it, art?

ok i'm on it!

Couch 122

New thread has been started.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...hat-we-do.html