The Dammit Doll and being on the other side...

My supervisor at my internship has this squishy stuffed elephant that she calls "The Dammit Doll." This stuffed toy is for all the therapists to throw around and punch afterwards if we have a really bad/frustrating group.

On Wednesday I did a group in the mood disorders unit. It was one of "those" groups. Totally frustrating. Pulling teeth. Couldn't get anywhere with anyone. The only answers that the patients were giving were the ones in which they knew the therapist would want to hear. The group dynamic was poor. My supervisor told me I did all I could, and that this is just the place in which these particular patients are at right now. It was a very frustrating group. Very, very resistant.

My supervisor gave me the dammit doll, and instructed me to punch it and yell "DAMMIT!!" Haha, it felt weird.

I thought about how my T must feel when I'm being all resistant like that. How he must want to go deeper with me, but I just won't go there. How he recognizes things in me, just like I did with my patients-- but you just can't get there. It's so weird being on both sides of the spectrum. I wonder if he gets frustrated like I did. But I'm new at this. He's seasoned. I wonder if the feelings are the same.

So....should you gift him a dammit doll?

Pink isn't that interesting. So the T's want to connect and we want to connect and it feels the same almost to both.

All this wanting to connect and then we don't all the time. But you know, if we both of us connected every session then that wouldn't be like real life is. We wouldn't learn anything from it and we would come to discount the connection wouldn't we?

This is just a brain spasm thought I'm having reading your post...

All T's need a T! Dammit!

Almeda said

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f we both of us connected every session then that wouldn't be like real life is

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Almeda, that is exactly what T said to me. He said that it is more often that people don't connect than when they do.

So, is a goal of therapy to "imitate" real life? Real life is part of what puts me in therapy...... .Aachhh......round & round I go..

The way T has explained it to me is that you 'learn' how to have better relationships in therapy.

Then we are to go out have those better relationships with others in our life or make the necessary changes we need to make to feel better.

And as I have learned, there are varying time frames as to when this occurs and is really client specific. For some, weeks is enough time and for others, like me, it may take a few years.

Tulips yes real life is what put us in therapy, however, in some ways decisions we make, mental/medical conditions we have and outside circumstances also play a role.

I'll use myself as an example. I am learning so much about how I relate to men by working with my T. This relational problem has led to many bad decisions on my part in picking the wrong men for me. What I thought was love, wasn't love at all. I was searching for unmet needs from my first male relationship, my dad.

On top of this, there are other issues that further complicate my above issue. Those other issues are what I am still trying to work out. But yes, once I do then real life should be so much better.

I should say though that the work comes from us along with our T's. They can't do it for us, and sometimes we wish they could

My friend just gave me a damn it doll last month. I had never heard of such a thing. But I just simply love it! The doll is just a shape of a doll with no face.This makes it easier for me to beat the furniture and even my children love her and thought it was funny when I used it on them to demonstrate it's purpose.They think it is so cool.Lets just say I am faithful at using her for her purpose LOL.

I found a link in case anyone is interested in ordering a Dammit Doll...they have tons

http://thedammitdollstore.com/DammitDolls.html

Cool! I might buy one for my T, very soon.