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  #1  
Old Aug 04, 2007, 10:55 PM
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Gracey Gracey is offline
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Ok. . .

I have therapy on Wed. I am supposed to bring my daughter in with me, and play with her while T watches and offers guidance to me. DH and I both think this is not such a good idea due to the face that I probably won't let go enough to actually play, and also I'm worried about crying in front of her and her not understanding what is going on. She's only seven. So, T and I spoke, and he said it's fine to come without her, but to bring my own "toys" and coloring book and crayons and such; we're still going to play. Oh yeah, and a box of Crunch Berries and milk so we can eat cereal for lunch.

So. . .my nightmares the last few nights have been on me. . .grown up me at 32. . .laying on the floor, coloring, and all of a sudden, something incredibly childish (awful) happens.

I'm beyond freaked out.

Ideas? Suggestions? Games? Childlike things to do? A lobotomy please?
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  #2  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 01:06 AM
freewill
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tired here... so I'll try.. to help...

relax.. relax... relax.. relax..

when you get there... relax... and your "littles" will take it from there.. let go of your "what if's" they really truly do not matter... your T is a kind person or you would not be there.. so what is the fear...
look at yourself as you look at your daughter,,, you certainly wouldn't think twice about her coloring or eating cereal..

so why should you think twice about it??? or even once about it..

so relax.. the "littles" will be there..

and my choice... beyond a shadow of a doubt.. PLAY DOUGH the best.. it is relaxing with the hands.. absorbing... entertaining..
  #3  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 09:30 AM
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MissCharlotte MissCharlotte is offline
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I do not think it is a good idea to do anything you are not comfortable with.

Maybe you and T can discuss first, why you don't think this is such a good idea. It sounds like you are not ready for this and need to go another route in therapy first?

I remember when T wanted to do some sort of anger release activity and I tried but finally just told him I didn't want to do it!! He was very in tune to my needs.

Good luck Gracey.

Here goes nothing. . .
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  #4  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 12:02 PM
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Gracey Gracey is offline
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The thing is, we've talked about it. And talked about it. And talked about it. He knows how I feel. I understand WHY he wants to go this route. The thing is, I think he's right. I don't have a problem with him being right. . .I'm just weirded out over the entire thing.

I don't know how to be childlike/childish whatever. He expects me to come on Wed and "play" and I'm at a HUGE loss. I do grown up quite well.. .can even managed giggly adolescent (just read some of my other posts) but child? That one is waaaaaaaaaay out there.

My inner child is sitting on a beach somewhere.
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  #5  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 12:51 PM
freewill
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You might ask your T if he knowledgeable about play sand therapy... they use this with adults, as well as, children - it is very effective..

you can goggle it or ask me.. via Pm..

my last two T's used it very effectively with many of her clients..

that may be useful for both your T and you.
  #6  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 12:52 PM
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Gracey Gracey is offline
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He does. He sees adults, but kids are definately his thing.
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  #7  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 12:54 PM
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Perna Perna is offline
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If your inner child is sitting on a beach somewhere, bring one of those zen gardens with "sand" or rocks or whatever and rearrange them? I'd bring "box" of damp sand and some molds and make a sand castle? Find a coloring book with beach scenes?

Why is your child on a beach? What's the association that you put her there? My grandparents had a beach cottage we'd go stay at and there's all sorts of "beach" associations I have to it and directions I could go with that one :-) Maybe bring one of those child "magnetic" fishing games where you literally fish? Think of your "hobbies"/interests now as an adult and figure out how a child would experience them for the first time. You didn't spring full-grown into your adulthood/interests/skills. Pick something and go find out what the child version is?
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  #8  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 01:51 PM
freewill
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Correction to my Post..

Sand Tray Therapy.... that is what I meant... so sorry... sick today...

goggle.. that..perhaps..
  #9  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 02:01 PM
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Gracey Gracey is offline
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Why is your child on a beach? What's the association that you put her there?

Years ago I was doing some imagery work, and that's where she was. That's also where I left her.

I don't knwo what the association with the beach is. hadn't discovered Cape Cod at that point, although I love it now. I just don't know. She's there. . .alone. Secluded.
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  #10  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 05:26 PM
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i'm late coming to this post. i think it would be hard to be a "child" again, but it might be the best thing that could happen to you. i was 40 when i "discovered" my childhood. and i went into therapy, again, immediately.

it's interesting, but i don't play well with my granddaughters. i have a hard time letting go. so, we read alot and play in the creek and cook. i understand your problem with this.
  #11  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 05:32 PM
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Gracey, did you have a favorite toy/doll/game when you were little? If so, google it. Sometimes you can find it on ebay.

Google the years when you would have enjoyed playing the most, and see what "fads" there were, like clothes or the kind of bike everyone had to have.

What music you lisrened to and what candy you liked.

Sometimes you completely forget about stuff until you see it and say "Oh that's right! I loved that game."

That helped me get in touch with mine. Here goes nothing. . .
  #12  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 05:38 PM
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Gracey Gracey is offline
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I don't play with my children at all. We do museums, I'll let them paint with me sometimes, we go to movies. But we don't play.

Petunia. . .I don't remember having anything special except the doll my grandmother made for me, which I no longer have. As far as games. . .when we weren't with my mother, we lived on the farm with my grandparents. We played outside, in the trees, etc. Not a lot of toys or such.
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You are not too much for them. They are not enough for you.
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  #13  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 05:45 PM
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Trees are a good start. Write down what you liked to do. Swing from the branches. Climb all the way to the top. Chew on bark, lol.

Seriously, don't worry about going in there and being "forced" to play. Trust me. It won't work. Tell T a flower told you that.

Did you ever play jump rope? Have a favorite song that went with it, like Miss Lulu had a steamboat? Here goes nothing. . . A book?

You have to start small. Maybe you played games in the school yard, or passed notes in class. Or your favorite color crayon was robin's egg blue.

If anything comes to you, write it down, bring it in to T.
  #14  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 05:51 PM
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Gracey Gracey is offline
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IT makes me crazy. I *shouldn't* have such a difficult time with this. Other people play. Normal people play. Why can't I play? GRRRR
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You are not too much for them. They are not enough for you.
~E. Bennings
  #15  
Old Aug 05, 2007, 06:04 PM
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I did the same thing. Here goes nothing. . .

I was resisting. How could I "play happily" when all I saw of my childhood were the horrible things. How could I let that "inner child" do anything fun when it was ALL HER FAULT? No one cared about her and she was forced to grow up early and being "a child" was like being "a baby" and that was just pathetic.

It took me a long time to realize the poor little thing had no control. I had to clear a lot of crap away before I could play. I had to stop resisting.

I was afraid to tap into anything other than the hurt.

The hurt was familiar.

Happiness was terrifying. Here goes nothing. . .

Edited to add-- You're trying too hard." Here goes nothing. . .
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