[annielovesbacon]

My T and I terminated (she moved away) last May. I haven't been back to therapy since, I've just been holding onto the name of a new T she recommended to me before she left.
I've been doing okay up until last month... I know i NEED to go back to therapy. But I am just so scared. Scared I won't like the new therapist, scared she won't be as good as my first T, scared she won't understand me...
Every day I pull up the phone number to make the call to schedule the appointment. But I can't bring myself to press "call" and I still haven't scheduled it yet.

For those of you who had to move past a sad/difficult termination to start with a new T... how did you do it?!

I left a therapist that was a very bad fit for me early this year after several rounds of back and forth. I left when I was in a bad place mentally because he was not helping at all and became very self centered and quite abusive. It was a messy and nasty breakup initiated by me, he did not want to let go of me at all. I did not have a therapist for a couple months and felt a bit disillusioned about therapy in general, but then decided to give it another go and started looking with a quite different idea in mind about goals and what sort of therapist I wanted to have. I searched quite a lot and interviewed a few, and I am now very happy with my current T. Glad I did not give up on therapy after the first one.

Could you maybe explore a few potential therapists? Meet with several and choose based on your own impression? I am thinking perhaps that way the anxiety whether it's going to be a good fit or not might be less since you try them out?

Also, my current T and I talk about my former therapy experience a lot, also compare my two experiences. I find that helpful.

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

Could you maybe explore a few potential therapists? Meet with several and choose based on your own impression? I am thinking perhaps that way the anxiety whether it's going to be a good fit or not might be less since you try them out?

Also, my current T and I talk about my former therapy experience a lot, also compare my two experiences. I find that helpful.

I don't think I can... I use my uni's clinic, and it takes a few weeks to even get an appointment, and if you don't know what T you want to be with, they place you randomly with one based on who's available. I don't believe there is an option for trying them out, and unfortunately I cannot afford to go to therapy outside the clinic :/

[Waterbear]

All I can say is I jumped in with both feet really. I did not want to leave my Old T and she did not want to leave Mr wither I don't think and I had the same worries and doubts as you but I just kept interviewing them until I found the right one.

I hear that this is not an option for you but leaving if it is not right will still be an option, so what do you have to lose. You can give it a go and if it isn't right you can leave and still be in the same place you are now.

It is taking time and patience and effort but we are building a relationship between us. I was lucky with Old T that it didn't take a lot of building really, it just seemed to happen but I do have hope, after today's session at least.

I hope you can decide yo do what feels right for you.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I started with a new T during the termination process with my old T. It helped to have another therapist to be there and help during that difficult time. I am now with someone else and its hard. I miss my old T I had to terminate with. This new T is the polar opposite of my other T and I find myself really missing the soft, warm and fuzzy, loving nature of my other therapist. Its hard to not compare them. Its also tough to adjust to someone new but I look at it as a new chapter with someone else.

Your new T might be amazing, you never know.

[annielovesbacon]

Update: I just scheduled my appointment with the T my old T recommended. It's not for another THREE WEEKS (ugh) but that's what I've come to expect with my uni clinic as they don't have the money to have a full staff. I'm really nervous and I wish I had scheduled it sooner because now I'll just be dreading it/be apprehensive for the next three weeks which will be hellish.
But... I did it. So that's good I guess.
Thanks everyone for your advice

[Waterbear]

Good for you. I really hope that it turns out well for you. Three weeks must seem like such a long time but it will pass. I really find keeping busy helps, even though I struggle to get out of my rut and get busy sometimes.