Do you consider that doing therapy means one is brave or anything of that nature?

I think it's brave, because I am way too chicken to try it again. :P I admire people who work so hard to do something that terrifies me. I couldn't go through what some folks here have gone through. I would have quit, changed my name, my number, and moved out of state just to make sure the therapist would never ever be anywhere near me again.

I agree!!

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I think that is very true.

There have been several mentions from people equating bravery only with war, etc., and that is the context they see as brave. Some of us, however, have lived through serious acts of violence against us though. We've had people wage war against our safety, literally threaten our lives and lives of our family, and aspire to instill complete fear in us.

Others of us battle seriously from within as the result of those acts against us. We suffer flashbacks and other serious, rather terrifying symptoms as the result of the war that was waged against us earlier in our lives.

So for many of us, speaking up now when we were threatened into silence, trusting now when all trust was violated, even looking at the violence we experienced when those memories create abject terror in us because of resulting PTSD, absolutely is an act of bravery.

I would like to say that to go back to those points of impact in our past, and look at how we felt and what happened to us, sometimes is no different that a soldier on the battlefield facing the enemy. It doesn't take bravery to push it to the outside of our consciousness and act like it's not there, or be triggered and not acknowledge the reason that we are not ourselves.

It does take bravery to learn that we now have choices and that WE can choose and make those choices. It does take bravery to actually stand up and MAKE those new/right choices. The choices WE want.

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I am of the group you describe with PTSD, but I still don't feel my choice to participate in therapy is brave. I do feel my decision to join the military was brave.

It appears that, according to the poll results here, that how a person feels about this is a personal decision rather than a result of the level of trauma a person has experienced, how distrustful a person is, repression tendencies, etc.

It seems more of a matter of personal opinion than personal history.

An interesting thing to me is that the therapists have tried to convince me that I have ptsd and that some past experiences were more violent, a lot more, than I consider them. And for me, those things never resulted in me thinking I did not have choice or that I was a victim in any way. They may have had other impact - just not that impact.
And those thing were not really part of, in any way I can see, what I decided to try therapy for.

For me bravery does not enter into any part of it. If I was going to see any part of it as bravery for me- it would be because I force myself to voluntarily go pay someone who is decidedly dangerous and possibly an active enemy. But I don't even see that as brave particularly.

Yes exactly, we are all different and have different reasons for going to therapy. I guess it depends on that on whether we consider it brave. Say some went to try and lose weight, is that brave? It would depend on the person and the circumstances.

I am in the pulling puppies out of a burning building as what would count as brave for me.

War is not the only example proffered here. Brave implies that if you take an action, there is something on the line for you - your life, a loved one's life, your job, your home, your country, etc. I don't think a process like therapy or life changes can be brave, because bravery is an event, how you respond at a certain moment or to a certain stimulus, not a process. I could accept the decision to start therapy as brave, but not the therapy or the "work" itself.

I have had violence done against me in the past. Resisting even when he was threatening to kill me would probably qualify as brave. And I just don't think therapy or changing my life compares to any bravery that I showed then.

I doubt whether the issue for which one goes to therapy determines whether you think it's brave or not. It's due to the individual. There is nothing wrong with those who say it's brave, and equally nothing wrong with those who say it's not.

This was not meant to be a right or wrong question - just a how do you see it question

For me it was not. I found it terribly patronizing (in hindsight) when my last T told me I was courageous. I was not courageous, I was pathetic and stupid and misguided.

The only time I was courageous was at the end when I started talking back to her bulls**t. That was when she cut me off. I guess she could only tolerate so much courage.

I find the idea of using the intensity / depth / extent of personal trauma as a benchmark for whether or not one is 'brave' in doing therapy to be rather problematic -- if one feels one is brave, so be it. If not, not.

Else, my general take is that we know so little of the personal, private hells that even someone right next to us has gone through (or is going through) that to somehow set up a hierarchy of suffering based on our incredibly limited (read largely non-existent) knowledge of others' lives is to not only demean the suffering of others but also our own -- basically, because it somehow smacks of the assumption (that I freely admit I find rather gawdawful) that the actions arising from suffering and consequently, the original suffering itself is somehow ennobling.

I understand that I may well be in the minority here but I find there to be a small, slithery, slippery slope from that point to somehow placing the suffering, along with the events that led to it, on a (very icky) pedestal of sorts.

I'd rather then just leave it as to each his own -- I did not take SD's original question as being anything resembling a value judgment and so, other than stating my personal, idiosyncratic preferences, I see little else to do.

I don't consider it a brave thing that I'm talking to a person about my issues. My t, and past t have never told me I was brave for doing so. They said it was a huge step for letting someone into my tiny circle of trust, even so, that tiny circle of people never knew of my secrets. Brave would be fighting some sort of war, or bungi jumping, lol things I'm physically afraid of ect..

I feel like maybe some people are tending to take the question as being more about whether it's brave in general rather than just brave for you to be in therapy? And others are speaking more about themselves?

I am definitely answering for myself. To me it's almost the opposite of brave to be in my therapist's office. It's like, there I can finally be sad for myself, let myself depend on someone, let someone know how bad I am really feeling, and stop bearing all my burdens alone. I don't have to act brave, feel brave, or be brave to sit in the room with my therapist and accept his help. And I am extremely grateful for this. It feels like refuge.

But my therapy is as unique as everyone else's, so I imagine most people have a version of therapy that sounds very little like that.

Just an edit to say thanks for this question! This is a really interesting and thought-provoking conversation!

I think the things I do that I consider to be 'brave' are courageous
regardless of whether I am in or out of therapy.
Right now I am -practising the virtue of courage- and I am not 'in therapy' (although I have recently seen one therapist, will be starting with a new one soon and also have frequent contact with my ex t by email). But I am doing some intensive and painful inner work that involves facing very difficult things about myself, and it is taking sheer determination, pushing on through the overwhelming fear, and grit. It is so intense that everything else has fallen by the wayside. This -must- be done. And it is one of the hardest things I have had to do in my fairly challenging life.
But it is -not- 'doing therapy'. It is simply my work. It is done with the support of a therapist on the sidelines (ex t) and I hope also to have the support of the new therapist soon too.
But I must reiterate I am -not- 'doing therapy'.

I am doing me.

I judge whether or not I'm being brave by the degree of fear I'm experiencing. So it's something that I define for myself, based on what I have to overcome internally to do something, not what the thing is itself that I'm taking on.

That's along the lines of what I was thinking too, so maybe I am part of the minority here as well.

It seems like an air of superiority surrounds the notion that those who go to therapy could be viewed as somehow better than those who don't despite experiencing similar issues. I feel grateful or lucky for being in therapy, not better (or worse); braver, for making that choice.

And on the other side, I don't think going to therapy is a sign of weakness or neediness or incompetence or stupidity, etc.

Not a pleasant thought, but that's one way that line of thinking can be interpreted.

I agree, and I really haven't said anything different than that. All I was expressing is the viewpoint that some people experience just the act of dealing with their abusive past as a very internal courage as just looking at it and confronting those issues can be very terrifying and require very personal and internal bravery.

Others see bravery as more a outward physical act. It's a variance of personal perspective, not a contest (as some have perhaps somehow interpreted what I said -- incorrectly).

My interpretation of the question was actually facing, and working through, to achieve wholeness and healing for the broken parts of us. That is brave however one chooses to take that journey.

Please forgive my replies to this thread if they have seemed biased towards ones who choose to work with a therapist/counselor. The counselor that I've been working with is the only person I have talked to about the trauma in my life. I don't think I would know how to do it on my own.

Yes i think that people who are willing to face difficult issues and work hard on them are very brave.

I know - just trying to head off any incipient tensions. 'Cause, you know, I'm a uniter, not a divider.

To me, Stopdog, it's been very enlightening and soul searching. Thank you for starting this thread and your question. I've thought about it much today and followed and commented as thoughts came. The post here have helped me, actually feel brave and to understand other people going this and their thoughts.

Thank you!!

Going to therapy a luxury. A priviledged thing.

Many people in the world go through things we cannot even fanthom... and there is no therapist to call. They are glad to make it through the day.
Just like going to doctor with disease and being able to get treatment for it is not being brave, it's just one of the things we have and don't realize many do not have this choice.

Smart decision, sure (but then you need sometimes make smart decision to leave a bad therapist).

Honestly, I am not in therapy and seeing some of them pull this "brave" crap, it makes me reluctant to go. It'd become agressive and would want my money back :/

Going to therapy is brave in proportion to how much you fear it.
No fear, no courage required.
Great fear, great courage.

This is a thought provoking question. I suppose one implication of the idea that it is 'brave' to go to therapy is the implication that one is not brave if one stops.