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#1
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I know I used to try and be compliant but I am not doing that anymore.
Current t and first have said I am one of the most and the most difficult client they have had. I don't think there is such a thing as a difficult client only a difficult t and the way the interacted with me influenced how difficult I was. What do you think? Are you difficult or does your t have the skills and patience to work successfully with you? |
![]() Anonymous37926, growlycat
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![]() 1stepatatime, ABeautifulLie, koru_kiwi, Ma1lgn59, Out There
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#2
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Interesting question. I don't think it would be very useful for a T to tell a client they are difficult though, unless being specific about a stubbornness around a certain event.
However, I do think I am harder work for my T than a lot of her clients, though on the other hand, I think my insight makes it easier in a way too. I do worry that I will be too much for her and she knows that. She has never said that I won't be, that she will stick with me forever etc but did say last week that at the moment I am not too much for her. This was after I made her a card saying thanks for sticking by me and she asked if it was a worry for me that it would become too much for her. I think I am making really significant progress but I don't think she always sees this and sometimes I sense that she is frustrated that things are not seeming to improve. She has never expressed that frustration, I just vaguely sense it, and understand it, because the changes are very small and internal but massive to me. My T works a lot with children but also works with adults and I do wonder if I am the first or one of a few adults who she has worked with for whom the methods of her child therapy are more prevalent than the methods mainly used for adults. ETA I do think she has the skills and patience to work with me, I just hope she thinks it too and in reality actually does. |
#3
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I was an easy client in so far as I attended regularly, paid my bills, was generally cooperative, was dedicated to working hard at my own therapy, we got along, etc. I do think the severity of my symptoms at times was a test of even my very experienced and capable therapists and pdocs. It wasn't so much about me being difficult to work with; it was about finding ways to keep me healthy and safe and alive that challenged them.
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![]() kecanoe
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#4
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He said I was challenging at first but that he has always liked working with me. We get along well and are on the same page. In a practical sense I always pay and show up on time, but some of the things that are going on for me psychologically are complex and multi faceted so I don't think you could say I am easy client in that sense.
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![]() Out There
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#5
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I don't really believe that there is such a thing as someone being simply easy or difficult. It probably depends in what sense/situation/area and also changes over time.
But if I want to answer, I think on the surface and initially I may seem like a rather easy client: I talk easily and in detail about a wide variety of topics and issues, I think I am generally respectful (unless something is really off), curious, seemingly agreeable. But my experience is that as time goes by, the Ts tend to run into solid walls with me that are hard to see through and penetrate (similar in ordinary relationships). I can also be quite stubborn and sometimes avoidant. I can also be quite challenging at times and direct in ways that is not sugar coated at all, my first (rather insecure) therapist certainly did not take that easily and got very defensive often. So, I don't really know. They both expressed that they liked working with me and that I am very engaging but I also sometimes feel they don't know what to do with me at times. |
![]() Out There
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#6
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I'm a difficult client: I sometimes stay silent for 20 minutes, I'm not compliant nor nice. On the other hand, I always show up on time, I always pay on time. I have no idea if my therapist thinks I'm too much for her. She keeps working with me so I guess she thinks she can handle me.
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#7
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Im a difficult client in some ways. But my T has the patience to allow me to feel/express whatever I need. Be that directed at her or just in general. I've definitely challenged her!
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![]() Out There
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#8
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I feel like I am difficult because I'm time consuming.
But my T has also said things like " every therapist dreams of a client like you who wants to achieve deep internal change" So I don't know which |
![]() Cinnamon_Stick, Ma1lgn59, Out There
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#9
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I wish my T tried to work WITH ME but he CHOSE TO WORK AGAINST ME!!
He never disclosed any concerns for me in session. I thought I was like any other client, maybe better, because I never stood him up. |
![]() growlycat
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#10
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I show up on time, leave on time, and pay each week in cash. I have no serious mental issues. I don't stalk them or care to know about their personal lives.
I cannot see how I would be difficult. The first one has called me challenging because I "fight the process" (and of course she refused to explain what the process was supposed to be) and the second has said I am a delight. I consider the difference to be them - not me.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
![]() annielovesbacon, Ma1lgn59
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#11
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There is also the thing that some therapists can be very dogmatic and try to force clients into predefined molds of their liking and theoretical orientation. And when we don't fit and they get lost, it's easy to blame it on the client.
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![]() 1stepatatime, ABeautifulLie, missbella, Out There
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#12
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I have never been told I am a delight because that would not be true. My current t has said she enjoys her interactions mostly but I can be a difficult client especially when I disconnect and go into myself, she finds that the most hard but that usually only happens if she says something judgemental or shaming.
I think it's too easy for ts to blame clients rather than except responsibility for the relationship |
![]() ABeautifulLie, itjustis, Out There
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#13
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I am usually on time so theres that. On the otherhand I often dont leave on time and can sometimes be there for 2 hours instead of the usual 45 minutes or I threaten to leave early. I used to be "nice" and I wouldnt tell her when I was upset at her and there wouldnt be much silence. Nowadays we just sit in silence while I tell her how I feel she hates me. Shes never told me I am difficult but I think otherwise.
__________________
"Do I really see everything for what it is Or is it that I can't see anything with such a bad case of denial" |
![]() kecanoe
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![]() Out There
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#14
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I think I might be, but it would be up to her to say for sure. I do know that she has shown a lot of patience and skill.
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#15
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Other than my google stalking I think that I'm a very easy and likable client. I'm very open, talk easily, and am not confrontational at all. I tend to avoid confrontation but feel like I need to muster up the courage to talk to my T about our relationship and I'm working on it.
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![]() kecanoe
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#16
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I think I'm challenging but in a good way, like a really tough crossword puzzle.
__________________
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman |
![]() atisketatasket, kecanoe
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#17
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Quote:
__________________
"Trauma happens - so does healing " |
![]() Anonymous37925, kecanoe
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#18
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I think I'm a challenging client, but whether that's a good thing or a bad thing appears to largely depend upon the therapist. I've had Ts tell me that I'm an "outside the box" thinker and that I ask tough questions. Two Ts I've had seemed energized and intrigued by this; another T reacted with obvious discomfort and confusion. The difference seems to rest largely with things like the therapist's own emotional development and sense of security as much as their professional knowledge and theoretical orientation.
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![]() Ma1lgn59, Out There
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#19
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I actually asked both my T and pdoc if I was difficult, because I've been feeling like I must be. They both said no - they have a completely different definition of difficult than I do. They both agree that I have a unique combination of symptoms, which can be challenging to understand and get under control, but they don't consider that difficult.
I wouldn't say I'm an easy client, either, though.
__________________
---Rhi |
![]() Out There
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#20
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I pay on time, am punctual, engage as much as I can and am a "good" client in the p actual sense. My biggest stride, at our last session, was when my T finally saw that despite her good intentions, she will not be able to dissuade me from suicide when the time comes; and is starting to accept her role as the psychological equivalent of a palliative care nurse, with the help of her supervisor. I will not me the only person who ends their life in therapy and I am sure that people will find ways to accept this as a professional hazard. But it was the most important step in my therapy for her to realise that this is her role, not to try and persuade me of a different - and then my mind and beliefs, impossible - future. In that respect, I am one of her more difficult clients because she cannot "fix" me.
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![]() 1stepatatime, kecanoe, Out There, speckofdust
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![]() speckofdust
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#21
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I don't know. I'm not really sure what my T's definition of "difficult" would be. Maybe I should ask. Has anybody here ever asked?
__________________
"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of their marvels." - Francisco de Goya |
#22
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Well, when in group therapy "NOPE! I wasn't good in the therapist eyes. Once no longer in group "I HATED GROUP WITH A PASSION!! I returned to trauma therapy 1 on 1. My T said I had a few "hairy moments" but all got better with time. When I occasionally go in now it's A-OK!
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![]() Forgiveness is not always easy but is possible! |
#23
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Quote:
This was pretty much me and No. 3. I'm still amazed at how often she rearranged her schedule so I could have an extra 15 minutes and at the length and thoughtfulness of her email responses. She insisted I wasn't difficult when I expressed concern about the extra work she was doing, though. |
#24
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Quote:
The Sunday New York Times puzzle, when their gimmick is actually hard and interesting! |
![]() MobiusPsyche
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#25
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I was a difficult client in my youth. Frequent ruptures. Not feeling cared about so I'd call my therapist a lot. Lots of quitting and rejoining. 2am suicidal calls. I was pretty volatile and in a lot of pain.
I'm middling now. Much mellower and more secure. But still I sometimes need between session contact. During session I participate and I am generally grateful for the help. |
![]() atisketatasket
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