Couch 122 - Doin' what we do!

Ellahmae · Oct 07, 2016, 11:59 PM

You two sound like my T :/ I know it doesn't make any sense but the feelings are there. Trying to work through it. Logically I get it, inside I don't.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

I'm in no way qualified to give advice , but at some point you have to understand you were a victim, but you no longer have to be. You are a grown person who can determine who you associate with and he can't hurt you anymore , you are stronger and older and wiser.

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

If you were preverbal when it started...how can you be at fault?

atisketatasket · Oct 08, 2016, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

You two sound like my T :/ I know it doesn't make any sense but the feelings are there. Trying to work through it. Logically I get it, inside I don't.

I know what you mean. Sometimes it seems as though the logic/feelings dichotomy will never be resolved in me.

Ellahmae · Oct 08, 2016, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I know what you mean. Sometimes it seems as though the logic/feelings dichotomy will never be resolved in me.

Agreed. So confusing and sometimes doesn't feel worth it to fight through and figure it out.

Oct 08, 2016, 12:11 AM

Wow. i thought only my abuser used "love" in such a way. He accused me of not "loving" him anymore, when I stopped things.. Who thinks that way?
Anyways hugs EM and Trailrunner and anybody else/

LolaCabanna · Oct 08, 2016, 12:16 AM

My XT said feeling aren't facts and she was correct. She told me to sit through them and let it work itself out. Logically you see the issue so focus on self preservation and care. They were wrong, point blank no reason to disagree... repeat that mantra until you believe it .

Ellahmae · Oct 08, 2016, 12:23 AM

Was your XT my current T? Feelings are true but they aren't facts - focus on what you know now, focus on the logic don't let the emotion rule - work through it. You'll be okay. I know I'll be okay keep looking forward. It's MY life not theirs, they have had too much of it already - I need to focus on ME and what I like, my relationships, my present, my now. Not the past, process the traumas, work through it but always focus on forward.

TrailRunner14 · Oct 08, 2016, 12:50 AM

Thank you Ellahmae. Can I just say that what you shared makes me very angry? Not at you, in no way. The truth. I can't grasp it just yet.

TrailRunner14 · Oct 08, 2016, 12:51 AM

I am SO angry!!!!! I just don't know how to deal with it.

Ellahmae · Oct 08, 2016, 01:03 AM

My T would be ecstatic if I would get angry.

TrailRunner14 · Oct 08, 2016, 01:12 AM

Mine would too if I knew what to do with it!!

Oct 08, 2016, 04:13 AM

And I'm feeling invisible again. Sometimes I am really not sure whether I exist or not,

t0rtureds0ul · Oct 08, 2016, 05:30 AM

Omg, Im panicking my arse off running late for a meeting that is probably just magical thinking and not actually happening anyway *sigh*

Oct 08, 2016, 07:26 AM

Hi lola!!!! I went to bed early last night had to be at work at 5am this morning for overtime yuck

Oct 08, 2016, 07:26 AM

Hugs EM and TRD and whoever else wants em

junkDNA · Oct 08, 2016, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

I was instructed by T to block him, don't respond. So I did. So under that # he can't contact me again but it was so out of the blue and brought back memories and I'm trying not to let him have any more of my life. He had 20 years

Possible trigger:

preverbal til10 and then a few instances after til 21

. I'm just confused and conflicted and maybe it was my fault? I owe him an apology. This **** really messes with your brain and is soooooooo ****ing confusing.

hey, i get this, i really do.

Possible trigger:

one of my abusers was my dad. i really disliked him, and was afraid of him. we were left alone with him the majority of the time as my mom was MIA at work or whatever she was doing. anyways, he died when i was 10 and it made everyting really complicated and complex.

i understand the confusion and conflict. my thoughts range from... i love my dad...i hate my dad...hes dead now so what does it matter... did he die because my anger killed him...etc.. hugs if u want them

Oct 08, 2016, 07:59 AM

That was supposed to be TR I am not awake

Oct 08, 2016, 11:45 AM

Alcohol good. Crocus bad.

atisketatasket · Oct 08, 2016, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crocus

Alcohol good. Crocus bad.

Did you know the Greeks and the Egyptians used crocus flowers to mitigate the effects of alcohol?

So, by my math, that means, Crocus good.

Oct 08, 2016, 12:56 PM

Sitting in the car at t's. Nervous not sure why...

velcro003 · Oct 08, 2016, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crocus

Alcohol good. Crocus good.

fixed your post

Oct 08, 2016, 02:25 PM

Agh. That was almost an argument. T sorta pissed me off. Should have stayed away. More later...

growlycat · Oct 08, 2016, 02:38 PM

Crocus is amazing!

Art how did therapy go? I'm realizing that I initially dismiss my anger as not a big deal but then it comes roaring back. Maybe it is best to recognize that initial anger.