Couch 122 - Doin' what we do!

(deleted the word vomit)

Ah, never mind. I'm just being a big baby.

But my question remains. Does the t have a right to push about money stuff? Like, pushing me and insisting that I need to make more money?
And that I need to tell my spouse that he needs to make more money? I pay her full rate out of pocket and she knows this. It's not like I don't pay
her or something. I always pay in full. I wish I had stood up to her more today.

Hey guys. If you don't mind, I need a truthful opinion.

My son is 20 and he has been in a relationship with my daughter to be for 3 years. I won't go into the details but she grew up in the same dysfunction I did and I can see it and understand it. I've tried to talk with her, when she comes undone, and in the place I'm in myself, it's very hard to help her.

They love each other very much and have eruptions that they have worked through.

About a month ago I found out that a grandchild is on the way. I'm so happy for them! They are both very determined and working to make a family.

There was another rupture with them, and it involved her family, which is all basically drama, and it turned into a monkey circus.

My thought is that they need counseling to give them skills to work through issues without calling in the drama brigade. I've been helping them out, monetarily with things that they need because it's been hard for them. Reasons I don't want to explain.

Is it fair of me to say that if they don't get counseling, to learn how to work through this, together, then I would stop my help?

They are both so head strong and we have talked about this before. They said they would but didn't. Is it fair to put that ultimatum out there? It should be something someone wants for themselves and not something they have to do.

Does this make sense?

I told them I would pay for it if they would go. Is that counterproductive?

I think offering to pay for counseling is very generous. For me, telling them that future $ support is contingent upon counseling would hurt me more than them. If they refuse to go, it would be terribly hard for me to not continue to help them when needed. Especially after the child is born. I speak from experience. We just paid fees for our granddaughter to attend a charter college prep high school and our son is still suffering from things in his childhood (we adopted him when he was 17) that he has not addressed

Thank you. I see him on Tuesday. I can text him but he generally won't respond, and this time I didn't want to text because it just felt intrusive. I wish I knew if he's heard my answerphone message. I wish I knew if his machine works - it doesn't always...

I wish I wasn't so pathetic.