Couch 122 - Doin' what we do!

My dreams are fragments that I can't put together. It's bits and pieces of images. Sometimes I can put them together. Sometimes I can't and that leaves me feeling very off.

Sometimes they are vivid. Those are the ones that I hang on to and try to get meaning from.

I don't know how many in one night - I go through periods where I get them every time I fall asleep - so if one wakes me up and I go back to sleep - I will get one again.

Nightmares are a beast. Not much you can do, unles you try lucid dreaming and not eating pizza and telling yourself not to dream about spiders if you see a spider or whatever during the day. I was looking for a nightmare research project to get in on a few years ago and didnt have much luck finding any.

I had the same nightmare every time I would fall asleep over and over again (this was a few years ago). Klonopin right before bedtime knocked that nightmare right out of me.

The same ones?

I'll see if I can find it.

I used to have recurring nightmares as a kid. They were so nonsensical it scared me to death. They even involved body sensations that I can't make sense of, sensations that don't exist n waking life.

I don't know how many nightmares one could have. My t always says nightmares are the psyche's way of getting our attention. That makes me think she's never had a nightmare. I had night terrors as a child, of course I don't remember them, but I've been told that I would be standing up in my room with my eyes wide open and just screaming, but it was obvious that I wasn't "there" - my eyes were blank. I'm glad I don't remember those, of course. But I've had those kind of nightmares too that I remember, where I'd wake up heart pounding, feeling trapped, etc. Some of them were right terrifying.

Off to work with me. See y'all later!

Yes. I have other recurring nightmares but these are new.

They are no fun at all.

Adding riced cauliflower to ratatouille did not add anything to the dish. Chick peas on the other hand, are a great addition.

Does anyone else find themselves eager for the day to be over, every single day? I can't tell if this is the depression or not.

Hi couch, I know I have not been very active lately. However, I just want to get some thoughts from other people on this topic.

Ok so t and I have been going around around on this theme for close to a year. T thinks that certain behaviors that I have been involved is me unconsciously recreating my abuse. I disagree.. So anyways, today we were talking about issues we have in our marriage. And I tell him that I feel like I have no room to criticize, critique, ask for support, because I have behaved so horribly as a wife. And t thinks this is my abuse mindset. So, I do stuff that enables me to feel like it's all my fault, I am bad a yucky.

But, I feel it is completely rational for me to feel like I am terrible wife because of my behavior, and I for somebody who has cheated really doesn't have a foot to stand on when it comes to pointing out issues within our marriage because of what I have done. That rational right???

Healed - I don't think it is all that rational.

Healed making a mistake doesn't mean you have to excuse your spouse for his issues. You both share responsibility in your life as a married couple. I'm sure he is not perfect, because no one is.

On an unrelated note, ice cream before dinner means ice cream for dinner. Blech.

No, not really Just because you made a mistake doesn't make you an awful wife. It takes two to tango, right? I am guessing your husband hasn't been perfect, and usually there are reasons for cheating, not just because "Hey, he/she is HOTT and i want to do them, and **** my marriage!" Well...I guess that COULD be a reason, but clearly your marriage isn't at its best then, is it
Yep, agreed.

I agree as well. But I get it - I am forever saying to t, "But it's my fault he's acting this way....." excusing whatever behavior of my h's that I just told her about. It's so hard even though you know something intellectually to actually put it into practice.

whats going on mcak

If your husband has forgiven you, then you should be an equal partner. You certainly shouldn't be on probation for the rest of your life.

Thanks everyone for your input..there are more details, it's hard to talk about. I had t today, and ever since have been on the edge of tears.. It's be awhile since I have felt like this after a session. Half blaming the prednisone I am on, and not the fact that maybe t hit on a button today and he maybe right a little bit.

Proud mom moment # I've-lost-count: my son just installed a new stereo in his truck, learning as he went, it took a couple of trips to buy the right parts, but it's done and it works great! I was out there for the test and when it worked, his beaming face just lit up the dark!! Not even 18 yet and he's now replaced blown fuses, replaced a broken window with one he bought at the junkyard, fixed the hood latch, changed oil/filter, changed his brakes and rotors, and installed the stereo. He is so smart and talented!

If its YOUR fault, then you feel like you have control - if you stop doing x then he will stop doing y.

But really people do z just because they want to. Like nobody makes trump do whatever it is he does. Or the epi pen lady. Or whoever.

Maybe WE are more reactive than we should be. That probably makes us too predictable.

Thinking this evening about couchies I haven't seen around in awhile and hoping they're doing okay.