[LonesomeTonight]

I'm curious as to how other T's handle their phones while in session with a client.

My T and marriage counselor have different ways of handling this. My T keeps her cell phone off and in her purse across the room and her office phone on Do Not Disturb (DND). Her cell has rung once or twice in session, and she's immediately apologized and turned it off without looking at it.

My marriage counselor, on the other hand, keeps his cell in his pocket with the ringer on (though his office phone is on DND). If he gets a text or phone call while he's in session with us, he'll sometimes ignore it, but other times say, "I just need to look at the number." He's explained that a couple times by saying, "I have a few potential emergencies brewing." I find it rather jarring, because I'm nervous he'll have to end the appointment early, and if not, it will take his mind away from our session briefly.

One time about a year ago, he did have to step into the hallway briefly at the start of session to respond to a text, but I know that involved something personal with a family member's health, so I was OK with it. But last week, he got a phone call right at the start of session. He glanced quickly at the number, then a few seconds later, the same number called back. He said he didn't know the number (so: client) but that he'd better answer because they called twice in a row. Answered saying, "This is [Dr. MC]. I'm in session. Is this an emergency?" I assume the caller said "yes," because he stepped out into the courtyard and shut the door, then came back 1-2 minutes later, shaking his head (I suspect it was not in fact an emergency) and apologizing.

This DID bother me. Because it felt like he was prioritizing another client over the people who were sitting in front of him. Granted, we had just sat down, but I wonder if we were in the middle of a particularly intense session, would he have still answered? I admit that part of me is like, "Well, that's good in a way, to know that he'd be there if I needed him in an emergency, even if he's in session." But mostly, it upset me. I think it triggered some abandonment fears, too (for those who don't know, I've had some strong paternal--and at one point erotic--transference for MC, so I know that plays a role).

I'm debating bringing this up with him and am curious as to how other T's handle phone calls/texts during session. And how you feel about it. Please take the poll and explain more if you like!

[atisketatasket]

I've never had one answer a call during session. Ringers are usually off, phone is usually across the room, etc. No. 2's did once ring, but she just turned it off. Psychiatrist does the same.

I understand answering if it's a family emergency; I don't understand answering a client, even one in an emergency - clients can be directed towards other resources if their therapist is not available.

My T's professionalism scares me sometimes.
Once When she was having home improvement done, a workman just opened the door to 'our room' to ask her something. I remember feeling protected but a little afraid of her scolding him.
Her mobile went off once. It was in her pocket. She immediately apologised, and switched it off.
Her focus on me feels nice in those moments, but a little scary. Never really had anyone think I'm worth that much. Well in a motherly role.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I've never had one answer a call during session. Ringers are usually off, phone is usually across the room, etc. No. 2's did once ring, but she just turned it off. Psychiatrist does the same.

I understand answering if it's a family emergency; I don't understand answering a client, even one in an emergency - clients can be directed towards other resources if their therapist is not available.

I meant to include a family emergency option in the poll--like, say, keep ringer on if spouse is due to give birth any minute now or if their kid is home sick, something like that. But tell client about that beforehand. And only answer if it's a name/number you know. And when MC has said he has "a couple emergencies brewing," that implies to me that at least one is probably a client. (Because if he has that many personal emergencies brewing, he should probably just call out!)

[guilloche]

OMG - yes. My T (T, then ex-T, now part-time sort of T while I look for someone else) usually has his phone on, with the ringer off, sitting right next to him.

The problem is - he gets messages on it. Or maybe it's visual notifications of incoming calls? Either way, he sees them - they get his attention while we're talking. And he stops to check out who's calling or what the message is. Having your T distracted by his phone is a really terrible feeling, talk about feeling unimportant and like you don't matter.

It's a big enough thing that when I had a session where he didn't have the phone, once, I walked out feeling better... and it took me a second... but I realized that it was b/c he wasn't constantly checking his phone.

Therapists out there - and therapists-to-be - please, please have your phone off and out of view when you're in session!

It hasn't happened often but I have noticed my therapist and psychiatrist both leave their smartphones on and have on occasion responded to a silent notification.

I'm not sure of my sychiatrist's excuse but I do know my therapist (who is actualy a pdoc too) is on call with the provincial court house as forensic psychiatry is part of her practise.

[Out There]

At the beginning of our session he takes it from his pocket , switches it to silent and puts it on the table where the tissues are. If he makes a note of something he does it on his phone. It would bother me if he was paying attention to his phone during session.

Both my T and pdoc have their phones on vibrate, usually not on their person, but set aside on their desk or somewhere. They may glance at it, but usually don't answer it. The exception has been for my T when there was a family medical emergency going on (I was aware of it at the time), and my pdoc will answer if it is an emergency call from the hospital (he is the director of the psych unit). None of the above has ever bothered me. I never have found it intrusive or unprofessional. I don't get too bothered about that kind of thing as long as it is unobtrusive and handled with professionalism.

[JaneTennison1]

My Dr does the same thing. I figure he makes a lot of time for me and my emergencies so I can't really complain when he does it for others. Both ex T and current T had cell phones off. Current T keeps her office phone on low but doesn't answer unless she knows who it is IE: an emergancy.

[therapyishelping777]

Mine barely gets calls , maybe a low beep on the cell, he will glance over to see who it is and just keep going with the session.. Sometimes my phone rings when I forget to put it on silent.. then I can't concentrate and ahve to tell him I'm going to put on silent then I'm ok. I gotta remember to do the silent thing..

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T has her phone on the table right next to her. The only time she looks at it is when we talk about scheduling. It's always on silent.

When she moved offices, she warned me her phone would be on for clients who might get lost finding the new place. But it was only for that week and nobody called.

[ScrewedUpMe]

I wasn't sure which option to choose...T never has her mobile on but her office phone is right next to me and I mean RIGHT next to me. She says there is nowhere else it can go. It is on and it has rung twice so far during my sessions and each time another client has left a voicemail message saying their name and asking to reschedule etc. and T and I sit there listening to it until it stops!! It is SO cringy! I have tried to talk over it but T says she can't concentrate until it stops. I find it really bad in terms of confidentiality and I will NEVER be ringing that number and leaving a message!

[Merecat]

Mine never has her phone on her person, it isn't even in the same room. She works from home and very occasionally her home phone will ring (can hear it faintly at the other side of the house. I wouldn't accept my T having her phone on for any reason, if a family emergency is that impending I'd rather she went and dealt with that and rearranged my session than be distracted by her phone possibly ringing. Therapy is the one time I expect to be the priority of the person I'm with, that's what I pay for.

[Pennster]

Originally Posted by ScrewedUpMe

I wasn't sure which option to choose...T never has her mobile on but her office phone is right next to me and I mean RIGHT next to me. She says there is nowhere else it can go. It is on and it has rung twice so far during my sessions and each time another client has left a voicemail message saying their name and asking to reschedule etc. and T and I sit there listening to it until it stops!! It is SO cringy! I have tried to talk over it but T says she can't concentrate until it stops. I find it really bad in terms of confidentiality and I will NEVER be ringing that number and leaving a message!

Gosh, that's terrible. Is it an old-school machine? Isn't there a volume control on it?

[ScrewedUpMe]

Originally Posted by Pennster

Gosh, that's terrible. Is it an old-school machine? Isn't there a volume control on it?

She is useless with technology so either doesn't know how to turn it down or it doesn't have a volume setting! Her usual reaction is to let the whole thing play, then laugh it off and go and unplug the phone 'because that's the only way I know how to stop it'! I think she just hopes it won't ring during sessions...

[Sarmas]

Mine kept hers on right next to her facing up. The phone was a foot away. She had the ringer on and also had it on for texts. It constantly would go off. every now and then she would take a look at it to see who called or texted. It was distracting. I would lose my place in our conversation and then try to make it seem as if it didn't bother me.

[BlessedRhiannon]

My T typically has her phone on either silent or vibrate and on a table away from her. She almost never even acknowledges her phone exists while I'm in session. Once, several years ago, she did let me know that she may be receiving a call from her son and if so, she would need to respond to it. She let me know at the beginning of the session, but the call never came, so she didn't have to stop the session. Once, she had to take a call on her office phone but it was very short. Those are the only two times in 7 years that she has paid any attention to either cell or office phone.

My pdoc has an office manager that handles all his phone calls, so she never interrupts him during an appointment. I'm sure he has a cell phone, but I've never even seen it. He typically comes around in front of his desk and sits in a chair across from his patients, so he's not distracted by phone or computer.

[Chummy2]

Both PrevT and current T had their Phone on vibrate and not on their person, but on their desk (which is not where we sit on). I've heard it vibrate during multible sessions. Once or twice they have taken a look at it when it vibrated, but usually they ignore it.
It would bother me if a T would answer their Phone during my session.

[Waterbear]

When we used to meet in the house the phone was never in sight but when we started working in a shed in the garden (better than it sounds) she straight up said that she has her mobile in the room in case of emergencies in the room with one of us, because the phone is a lot further away in the house. It is always meant to be on vibrate and has only ever gone off a couple of times, she never responds to it. Once it rang but she rejected the call, apologised and turned it to vibrate. It is always on a shelf behind her.

I would never ring my T during the working day, even in an emergency because I would not want her phone to go off and interior her or any other client. I only ever text and still try to do that later in the day. Just me though, she has never said anything about it except that I won't always get a response during the day because she doesn't get great reception in one of the places she works.

My T used to have her smartphone near her on the table and with an alarm set to help her manage time. I found it jarring even when she changed the alarm to a low chime.

Can't remember when she started putting it completely on silent. Either way, she either left it on the table by the computer and I don't notice, or has it in her bag tucked away on her side of the table.

Once she left it on and it rang, so she answered it because it's her personal smartphone. She doesn't have a work smartphone. I presumed it was an emergency because she apologised and stepped out.

Her office telephone has rung before, but she rejected the call. Then a nurse knocked on the door and barged in because there was an agitated man rapidly escalating to shouting in the waiting room.

[AllHeart]

My t had her cell phone out once during session because her husband had just gotten out of the hospital and she wanted it out in case he had an emergency. She respectfully asked me ahead of time if that was ok. Other than that one time, she doesn't even have her phone out in sight.

Now my daughter's t has her cell phone out every session. She uses it for time, which is fine. However, she doesn't turn off the ringer. Sometimes she even answers the phone. It's a major pet peeve of mine so she tries to be somewhat cognizant of that. She's older and kind of forgetful I do need to remind her to knock it off periodically.

[SoConfused623]

I think that I've only seen my T's cell phone out once so it's usually in her bag or in her desk. She is so very professional that I can not ever imagine her answering it and I'm sure that if she had some family emergency going on that she would tell me ahead of time but in 2 years, this has never happened. My Pdoc, has her phone on her desk but it must be on silent as I have never noticed it doing anything. Pdoc once did show me a couple of pics of her new baby from her phone, but that's it.

[granite1]

my T keeps her cell phone off and in her purse . but her office phone rings. it drives me nuts. she doesnt answer it but lets it ring acting like it isnt . i ask her if she wants to answer it and she says no . i would rather her just answer it then to let it keep ringing

[velcro003]

I put other, because ocassionally my T checks her phone at the beginning of session stating she was making sure her (young) kids were alright. I am the last appointment of the day. Only once did it ring, and scared the shite out of both of us. Her phone usually is out of sight.

[nottrustin]

She normally has her phone on silent. She never answers it. There was one time she accidentally left her ringer on. She went to turn it off and realized it was her elderly neighbor whom she often cared for. T feared it was an emergency as she never called her during the day. So T asked if I minded if she quickly took the call. I told her to go ahead. She quickly realized it wasn't an emergency and quickly told her friend she was in with a client and hung up. It was strange but since it was a one time thing I didn't stress. If it were a regular occurrence it would bother me. The only other times she has looked at her phone is when we were discussing contact. She leaves her phone face down on the stand next to her chair. I know for a fact she answers patient email between clients if her next client isn't there yet. I prefer email and so we email off and on throughout the day on occasion.