Therapists and their phones during sessions

T keeps cell phone off, on his desk, and the work phone is silenced as well. I like it that way because it makes me feel like my time is valuable.

His work phone used to ring once and then go to voicemail but he finally figured out how to stop that. Once he did tell me he would have to step out if a call came in, but it was so unusual for him that I assumed it was very important and it didn't bother me.

Neither has an office phone - they both use cell phones. Usually the phones are on vibrate or silent. They have both had it go off once or twice but usually they immediately silence it. Mine has gone off a couple of times too because I forgot to silence it on my way in. It does not bother me.

You know whose phone really distracts me and pisses me off when it goes off in session? My own. Bugs me 1000 times more than T's phone.

My T has his phone on silent and not on his person. Even text notifications startle and disturb me. I never take my phone in to the room.

Thanks, everyone for your responses. It helps to hear other people's experiences and thoughts. Still debating whether to say anything to MC at our appointment today. Maybe I'll see how I'm feeling when I get there. Or if he looks at his phone during session, that would give me a good opening.

My t doesn't even keep his cell phone in the same room with us. He has another office down the hall he stores it in. His office phone is on DND, too. I really respect the way he handles things.

Hi lonesome,I can't take the pole because I am on my mobile. I would be very upset at my t if she had stepped out because somebody rang twice. It is prioritising somebody else over you and it isn't staying in the present with the client who is actually paying for your time.
I would have to say it to her. I really hope you do bring it up with him. How might he respond?
On our last session ( the one where my t went psycho) t answered the door in her apron, I could hear there were a lot of young voices in her kitchen, she showed me to the room and then apologised because she was running late with dinner, she asked if I could wait a moment till she finished. This has become a habit of hers but it really upset me because I could hear them all talking and laughing and I was alone in distress, she was putting them before me and it really hurt. Often people have been around her house, I can hear voices and once or twice people have walked into our room or the doorbell has rang and she answered. She is always distracted. I don't know why it's so hard for her to understand but she doesn't I have said it over and over but nothing changes. She apologises and next week same thing happens.

I checked two.

The first one was: Phone is either on vibrate or ring, and they DO sometimes look at it during session. This DOES bother me.

And the other was they DO sometimes answer a call or text during session and it bothers me.

I'm only talking about T1 here....it has only happened with her.... and when she does answer, it's her 17 year old daughter. I hate that she doesn't silence the phone, and hate it even more that she feels the need to check it during my session if she has a text.

Honestly, I'd start reducing their fee every time they checked their phone, answered their phone or we interrupted during my session. That's an absolute nonsense, especially if they continued to do it after I had said I wasn't happy with them doing it. That in and of itself would make me change therapist.

Ive never had one answer their phone in session, if they did i'd be upset and angry.

I have had one answer while in session. Current T used to leave it on, but now he puts it on silent because I insist on it.

Most of the time, t's various phones are on dnd or silent. Sometimes she forgets to switch her cell to silent, but apologizes if it goes off, and ignores the call. She's only ever answered it a few times, or warned me once or twice that she may recieve a call she needs to take. Other than that, she's generally good about not paying attention to her phone in session unless she's using it to look something up or show me something.

There have been a few times she's been more spacey about it, and she checked her phone more regularly during session, but I assume it was important. She tends to make herself available to her clients, but also is really good about being present in session.

My first therapist answered an about 2-minute phone call during our very first meeting while I was sitting across from him. When he asked me towards the end of the session if there was anything that would discourage me from coming back, I told him straight if he had a habit of answering phone calls. Then I was only halfway out the door and he answered another call on his cell. Thinking back now, that was really weird and could have been more alarming given all the issues I ran into with him later. He did respond to the phone once or twice later as well.

Current T has his phones on "do not disturb" or silent or whatever, I've never heard or seen any sign from it. There was one phone session we had when he told me straight away in the beginning that there is a personal emergency for him and it might happen that we will get interrupted, and if that was the case, we would make up for it later without charge. He only used his electronic devices a couple times to look up something I mentioned to him online. I find his dealing with it fair and respectful.

As clients does everybody silence their phones during appointnents? I do. However there are times it is left on or is on vibrate. If I get a call or text she insists I check sure it is not hubby or one of my kids. If it is any of them she wants me to answer because it is an emergency.

Mine is on vibrate, but it's in my purse, so wouldn't be too noticeable if it went off. I think I've had it out a couple times if my kid was sick, and they were fine with it. My husband will often have his work phone on the table next to him, but on vibrate, during marriage counseling sessions. He's looked at it once or twice, I think. And we both get our phones out at the end to do scheduling, but that's different.

I try to remember to put mine on silent. I used to have it on vibrate, but it would still be distracting. It's one of the things that really bothers me in my group, when everyone's phones go off. T hasn't said that people should keep their phones off, and for a long time it wasn't an issue, but lately, other group members are taking calls in the middle of group even when it's not an emergency. It's frustrating...
I've only ever taken a few calls during session. Once it was work, a few times I answer for my wife if she calls more than once. Once I answered a call from a creditor b/c it was something I was asking T's help in handling. Other than that, I try to keep my phone distractions to a minimum. Sometimes I show her journaling via my phone, but that is usually planned and with the topic of session.

My T keeps her work phone on but ignores it if it goes off. If she is expecting an important call that she needs to take she will warn me at the start and leave the room to answer it if needed.

I'm not aware of my T's phone during sessions at all. He might have it in a pocket or something.

I think the phone has only gone off once. She apologized, got up and shut it off. Another time, all kinds of devices were dinging. One was the computer with notifications, so she shut off the speaker and that's when I saw her pick up two phones to turn down the volume and I said geezus, how many phones do you need? And she explained about the office phone now being a cell instead of landline when she moved. I had a flashing thought that she had two office numbers and gave one to clients she likes and another to people like me, but did not mention it.

If she ever had to step out to take a call, I don't think I be able to refrain from grilling her about it.

Realized I never updated here after talking to MC about his answering a call in session. Saw him Friday, and was unsure of bringing up phone thing. So H took care of that for me. Conversation went OK, I said a few times how it bothered me because it was a client, and it wouldn't have if it had been a family member. Mentioned at one point something about "because of the situation in his family, I understand why you have to check your phone" (his wife has a serious health condition that requires a home health worker—I believe she’s in a wheelchair.) He said the main reason he has to check his phone during session (well, other than family) is for these teenager intensive treatment placements he does as part of his practice, that some of them are really high-risk, in bad places, etc. That it was fine for us to bring up the phone call thing, etc. But I got the sense it wasn't something he was going to change, the having his phone on and looking at it during session when he got a call/text, and occasionally answering it.

He then turned the conversation to the fact that I'd mentioned "family members" so many times in discussing the phone and his concern that us knowing stuff about his family was interfering with the therapy. He said that the support/caring should just go in one direction in therapy, and that it might be going both ways here, which means he messed up (even though some of what I know about his wife was from something I accidentally overheard). It ended up being pretty upsetting to me, but won't elaborate more here--see the In Session Today thread if you want more on that.

LT, I saw that post of yours, but I can't tell if that's a thread where it's acceptable to comment or not (like the Dear T thread). My take on your mc's concern is that he feels badly that all this time his phone has been going off, you've been carrying concern about his family, when in fact it was mainly these other clients' crises. So, he saw a direct result of your knowing about his wife's condition as something that was causing you unnecessary angst. It doesn't matter how you came to know--that it was from office staff--he feels responsible for the fact that it has added to your burdens. It seems like a very human response and not at all how some therapists might turn it into a pathologizing thing about the dangers of transparency and disclosure. He sounds like a very caring guy, LT, and honest about his feelings. I think it's all good.

Thanks, ruhroh. It may have been partly that and also the fact that I was keeping quiet about something that bothered me because I was thinking "well of course he has to look at his phone because of his wife." Whereas if I didn't know about that, I would have said something earlier. He is definitely a very caring, understanding guy--the fact that he's going to talk to me on the phone later this evening because I told him the session left me upset is a testament to that. Though the fact that he's so caring is likely a big part of why I'm so attached...

The only time I have heard T's phone was during a session where I showed up 15 minutes late due to traffic. She was on her phone when I got there and I assume she forgot to turn it off. She apologized and put it on silent without looking at it.

Today was the first time in 2 years that my T's phone dinged! She quickly apologized, grabbed her phone which was not visible to me, checked the settings and looked very puzzled. She apologized again and said that she had the ringer and notifications on silent so she was not sure how she got dinged. I was tempted to tell her about this thread, but didn't as I don't want her to know about PC at all...

In the one year I saw my T, her phone was ALWAYS face-down on her desk, and I never heard it ring or vibrate. She used it ONE TIME, and it was because we were discussing the location of my new job, and she looked it up on her phone's maps app.
I really appreciated that she never used her phone. Even if she had just used it to check the time, I would have been nervous that she was quickly reading a text or something. Instead she used her watch and a clock.