What could you learn about your therapist that would make you think less of them?

What piece of personal information about your therapist would make you think less of them professionally?

Another thread made me wonder this. Never mind how you got the information - you suddenly know a piece of personal information about your therapist that affects your opinion of them as a professional. What would that information be? Some kind of crime, some kind of personal foible, something against your own individual moral code, etc.?

For some reason I'm thinking "toe fetish" but that might be the insomnia talking.

If she supported Donald Trump.

But that idea is so ludicrous it's unimaginable.

The bar is already pretty low about what I believe about those guys. Abuse to animals, actively trying to convert gays to straight, or putting me in a case study is about all I can think of. And I am not sure even those would make me think less than I do. Seriously the bar is really quite low in terms of what I expect from those guys.
I don't really care about her politics or lifestyle or what she does with other people.

Haha yes being pro trump would do me in. Having an affair on thier spouse Sleeping with patients or being otherwise unethical with patients. Hurting children and animals and the elderly. Things like that

I already found out what lowered my opinion of my T- he gets enjoyment from destroying the lives of others and playing puppet master with everyone around him. He gets a kick out of tormenting clients, and has no moral compass whatsoever. He's racist, sexist, obsessed with sex, and kills animals for fun.

Of course the normal extreme taboos (i.e. cheating, harm to a client, animals, children, or elderly, bullying, assault, etc.).

But it all depends really. I've done something in my past that I feel is unforgivable. Would I accept her if she did it? Maybe.

Even murder I might be willing to forgive in certain situations (i.e. self-defense).

She would have had to do something heinous to make me think less of her.

I think the parts are more interesting than the whole. So would hope there was something I didn't like.

Anything! I don't really have an especially high opinion of my T, and when he did talk about himself I just wanted to cover my ears. I don't want to learn anything at all about him, not because I think I would be put off. I just don't want to know.

Hmm, maybe if she really wasn't as genuine as she appears to be, or if she got off on hearing about the abuse rather than was bothered by it, or was abusive to the people around her. I don't really know. Never really thought about it much. I have professional expectations of her, but not really personal ones.
This is all of course dependant on not having encountered anything personal to date that bothers me about a t. So far, to the best of my recollection, I've been bothered by things that directly impacted the professional (like professional abandonment, burn-out, being unable to see past a (wrong) dx...). Even then, the burn-out didn't make think less of them, just hurt more.

That's a really interesting question. I would be very disappointed if he were a Thatcherite, but I somehow doubt he is. I don't care about cheating and things like that for some reason.
Things to do with his relationships and personal life don't affect me but his fundamental views on life (including his politics) will influence his practice, even subtly, so it affects me more directly. That was interesting to consider.

It might upset me if she were a meat eater, but I'm not sure. I try not to let that affect me about other people, but it's hard, knowing how that meat got to be on the plate and the incredible suffering and cruelty involved.

No, I doubt any personal stuff will make me think less of a T unless I could see how it was directly affecting their competence as a T.

I don't know if this is a strictly personal thing but this threw me for a loop -- that my T could refer to herself in the third person. E.g.:

Me: I'm worried I'll blah blah blah.....

T: If that happens, Bathsheba* will notice and help you...blah blah.

Note (*): Bathsheba is not T's real name -- any resemblance to therapists named Bathsheba is purely coincidental.

ETA: Only happened once. On a slightly serious note, I think she mistakenly assumed I'd dissociated or regressed or something (what can I say? I look like I have I guess even when I haven't).

Admittedly this straddles between personal and professional.
Reasons for disrespect: makes unfounded, speculative, assumptive statements without realizing the difference between fact and conjecture; projects magical thinking; is fundamentally narcissistic; had overwhelming need for admiration or idolizing; explains away mistakes; employs subtle or less subtle manipulation to gain social dominance, and is certain in opinion or about the unprovable.

I've seen all these traits in a couple of therapists I know outside of their practices. They're two of the most attention seeking human beings I've ever met.

I'm also a vegetarian, but since I'm married to a meat eater (and my daughter has developed a love of chicken nuggets!), I couldn't judge based on that. But this made me think of another one--if either T or marriage counselor hunted for sport, it would change my opinion of them for the negative. (Though first I'd have to laugh at the image of MC attempting to hunt. Pretty sure T would be a good shot, not so much him.)

For some reason, politics for me is not a deal-breaker - not sure supporting politician x means you buy into everything politician x says.

AY, the pseudonym you chose for your therapist is Bathsheba? That is psychologically fascinating in so many ways.

Nothing different to add - I would be highly disappointed if my T was an abuser (animals or humans).

Aside from what's already been mentioned, I'd be disappointed if I found out my therapist was extremely judgmental in her outside life. For example if she's at the dinner table with her family ranting about how much she hates people who -------, or people that --------. That would pretty much mean she's judging me with the same harshness and is hiding it.

I don't dare discuss this with my therapist. I don't want to know.

I'm with speck of dust.. if my T was an abuser

something like, "I am currently suicidal myself", or "I'm currently going through such and such"

I am not sure i'd want a therapist to support me (say to stay alive), if he/she is currently trying to end their own lives. it would just be weird

that can work for other sinarios- a therapist telling you not to self harm, when it's clear that they've been doing it just a couple of hours ago

that they're not actually a therapist- that they are, "In it for the money"

they have been reported in the past by clients for various issues that happened in session

That they're an abuser.. Not much else....

I wish I could say I actually "chose" it (or that I have a pseudonym for her) but the honest answer is that I was dashing this off in a hurry this am and looking for an uncommon name close in the alphabet to her real name (to fit my rather juvenile sense of humor).

Then again, power of the unconscious, symbolism etc

I would think less of my T for the obvious things like cruelty to people or animals, or if she committed a crime or was dishonest. Also if she were a totally different person in real life.

I do think less of her because her morality is different from mine. Since most of society believes like she does, not like I do, I have to accept it. I am old-fashioned so it bothers me that T had no objections to her daughters living with their boyfriends, and she herself may be doing that. I believe in marriage first.

I also thought less of her because she got divorced. Not because divorce is wrong, but because I used to think professional Ts would know how to stay in a marriage. I've learned otherwise, and looking back, most of my former T's were divorced.

I find it interesting to see what sorts of different things concern people. I don't usually worry about crimes, or personal interactions (having an affair, judging etc) - those seem usual sorts of human behavior to me - some that were set up to benefit a patriarchy (women should not get to choose sexual partners for example) and I find most activity labeled criminal to be subjective and to encourage certain political bents, etc. It is rather a given that the woman thinks differently and believes differently from me and has questionable values by mere virtue of choosing therapist as a career.

This is a good thread, thank you Atisketasket. I know a therapist whose client leaves his socks in the room after every session. I used to use the room after her and after finding socks a few times I suspected that she had a foot fetish but she denied it, the jury is still out on this one.
I learnt that my t is kind to all of her friends but not so kind to her clients and supervisee's.
I spoke to another therapist this week and my t is her supervisor and she is terminating t because she feels they are not working well together so I learnt my t is behaving like this with everyone in a professional context. I learnt that I take her behaviour personally.