What is a connection between therapist and client?

Yes!! I feel heard. Being able to tell my story without fear of being judged. And to be understood and held in positive regard.

There are other types of connection. This is the type that a therapist offers to me and I value it a lot.

For me, the connection is the following:

She is my therapist and also my confidant. I trust her. It was hard won trust and I didn't give it easily.

The relationship between us is part of the connection, which includes her consistency and her caring for me.

We've developed a light psychic bond. Meaning, I will be doing something random and think of her and it turns out she had written to me in response to one of my emails.

She is connected to all of my parts -- meaning that there are versions of myself that will feel a deeper connection to the therapist than others. But even the skeptical and business competent parts now respect her value in my life.

If a therapist used the term, I think they'd mean something like clicking. Like, do we click? Is there a harmony here? Is there something that remains when we are apart that we can pick up again when we are together? Is there a familiarity? Is there comfort or trust?

In the physical world, we have data connections and electricity connections. It means there is something, a wire or a protocol, that allows the two sides to communicate effectively. It's not a perfect analogy but also fits.

That was the crux of it for me. I thought there was some connection, but it was largely hypothetical and simulated. She might as well have been a hologram or a cyborg. To give it context, I need only think of the next client walking in and her playing a similar role, then the next, etc.

For me a connection is a good rapport. I feel comfortable talking with/ confiding in them and I feel like they understand me to some extent. The conversation flows and is as a rule is not awkward. Basically, I like and respect them and they feel the same about me. Whether they actually like me or not I wouldn't know, but since I'm hyper aware of people's to me body language and tone, I think I'm a decent judge of that. I don't take it beyond the professional, however. My connection may cause me to care about them beyond the therapy room and I would hope for their wellbeing and feel bad if something bad happens to them. That said, I've never had an urge to give one a holiday gift or card and would never think of getting one from them. So while there is a sincere feeling of fondness, it is still very limited. This has not happened with every therapist I've seen, even if I liked them enough as a T, so it's unique to the person.

For me it is about being comfortable with the person enough to want to spend that much time with, having mutual respect, knowing that they have my best interest in mind, being able to talk to them about very painful parts of my life It takes time to build trust but having them caring and compassionate and patient.

SD, from what I know of why you go to therapy, I don't really see how having a connection with a therapist could be useful to you.
For me, I have a lot of trust issues and I cannot tell anyone any private details of my life without a connection with them. So for me, a connection with a therapist means I know him or her well enough to trust them and confide in them so that they can help me.

For me, it is the absence of one that allows me to tell the woman what I do

Why would having a connection with a T make it hard to speak to her about your issues? Do you seek a dispassionate ear?

If it hasn't been addressed yet, can I ask you - do you have people in life you DO feel connected to? What does that look or feel like?

Yes - but they are real people in my life and I understand the point with them.

I thought I had a "connection" with 1 out of 3 of my previous long term Ts, by which I mean that on a more superficial level we were able to laugh about things, which came in especially useful to lighten the mood in dark times and also I felt like T could understand to how I felt and why, and therefore "got me". The connection for me was also evident through non-verbal means such as T's facial expression when I looked up through my tears or the hug I was offered in a difficult session.

However, once therapy was over, I wonder how much of it all was contrived. I don't think I would be able to ever trust in a Ts authenticity again so I can understand people's reluctance to believe in a connection.

For me the connection with the therapist is when I feel we understand each-other and are interested in exploring issues together. The interest is probably key for me as I typically feel that the level of connection is lowered when the therapist does not seem to show as much interest as usually or not as interactive. It is not something that operates on mostly an intellectual level like it does with many of my colleagues, for example. It is an emotional reaction on my side to detecting the T's engagement. My T also has a way of increasing the connection with telling stories about himself that relate to my stories, this creates a sense of similarity (even though I am aware it is contrived for this purpose). I never truly felt the kind of emotional intimacy many people describe about therapy though... I believe that is hard for me to experience in a one-sided way.

I don't really know how to explain it. Other than, in my case, it was something I felt with current t from the first phone call. Something just "clicked" and I knew I would be able to talk to her. I felt understood right out the gate. Unlike with the first 2.

I believe it's as much a connection as any person who's providing a long term service in exchange for money.

Although as a client we usually value our connections because a service would mean less if the only drive was to get paid.

But unfortunately therapists usually thrive for their own personal gain. Each and every individual client is perceived as a new challenge and while they're dedicated to help us, it's also the only thing that defines them as an asset within their work.

And just like any service job we're required to work more than 40 hours per week in, we're not working just to do people favors. We work because we want to provide the best possible service for ourselves and our clients so that they're happy and our reputation and business can prosper.

If we decide to build too much a connection with every single client we'd end up going bankrupt from all the favors we're giving away. And in a therapists perspective they'd be empathizing with each and every one of their damaged clients, which would result in their own self destructing mannerisms.

So as much as we'd like to have a therapist who's supporting us mentally and emotionally, it's safe to say that an intelligent therapist is one who's detached from his/her emotions, because its safest way to survive in that field of work.

Connection in general means bond. My first T used "connection" a lot and I didn't know what she meant but I called it a bond. It meant that I felt something towards her, a closeness like you can have with anyone. I feel a much stronger connection or bond with my current T. We're not strangers; we're not friends but we're closely connected.

My T told me about a book, Love 2.0. People can feel connected to someone they meet in the grocery store or a waiting room. Connection happens and we don't always know why. I love the feeling of being connected to people! It's what makes life worthwhile! Feeling it with my T is special though I'm not sure why.

Trusting a T with your life is huge. I would not trust just anyone. Connection is key. No connection = no trust = waste of everyone's time and money.