Do therapists care or is it all an act

Yeah, but I think of the case where, say, a teacher notices a student often coming to class with bruises, so they wonder if the child is being abused at home. Or if a child confides in their teacher about something going on at home. Or when a child is failing despite appearing to be really intelligent (maybe a learning disability like dyslexia). Or where a child seems in need of approval or acceptance (not getting it at home). Or has other challenges. Teachers can make a huge difference in a kid's life. So I think for some kids, a teacher could fulfill the same role as a T.

You sure about that?

You just described a typical day in my life as a teacher.

Not to pile on to you Bud (or get way too dorky) but the teacher analogy doesn't really work here.

There's solid evidence about the effect of teachers (kindergarten teachers!) on building non-cognitive measures among students which in turn leads to a substantial increase in later life earnings (the link I've given has the magazine article but a quick search will give a non-gated version of the actual paper).

Mine abruptly ended their affectation of caring simultaneous to my ending my deference to them.

I have some therapists whom I know definitely cared about me. One always made sure I got something from the giving tree every christmas. She would buy me things and give me stuff. When she left, she told me how much she cared about me. Others said they looked forward to talking to me and would hug me and stuff. I guess it all depends on each person's definition of caring. To me these things were caring. I did have times when I would doubt whether or not certain therapists really care or not. As far as talking about their clients I think a lot of people do it. I was in the hospital and i had a room by the nurse's station and I could hear the nurse and doctor saying bad things about me because I had a mental illness. There is caring and noncaring people in all professions.

My belief is that if someone didn't care about the welfare of other humans, it's likely that they wouldn't have pursued a job that has to do with improving the welfare of humans. I do believe there are a few people out there who pursue the job for the wrong reasons, but that's with every profession.

I believe every therapist is going to differ as everybody has their own level of compassion.
But generally speaking I think therapists are too conditioned towards breaking down the human mind as if it were a machine that they've detached themselves from emotion.

It's going to be hard for them to offer emotional support when they only see the blueprint towards finding the core to your problems and fixing them step by step. That doesn't mean that they don't want to help you, but i believe their help is more for their personal gain and not your general well being.

Yeah that was really harsh. She was being honest I guess. She also said it right before a two-month break, isn't that great? I felt like **** afterwards. Still do.

Being a preschool teacher is ALL about forming relationships with the children. Yes, its not 1 on 1, but these children are much more perceptive than you'd think. Am I acting when I am feeling crappy inside, but am still cheery for the children? Not really. What I am doing is trying to put my crappy feelings aside so i can be the best i can be for the little guys.

Hi Lonesome, hope you okay.. I am not sure if therapist care or not? My therapist has discharged me this week! he thought I had not turned up to my appointment. I only was in the ladies! therefore, he didn't come out if his office, for ages then I didn't have much time with him.....then he discharged me .. lately he been cross, saying that I am not trying hard enough to do homework to fight my Ocd. And now I am missing him really alot!..But I am hoping he will phone me, to ask how I am.. whats wrong wtih me.

As far as their venting being truth I would say not necessarily. Sometimes behind very closed doors we do vent not because we don't care but more because we DO care and are frustrated that no matter how hard we try we can't seem to make a difference...

it's one thing to vent because you're frustrated. In the examples I gave they were going out of their way to be nasty. They did not express frustration that their clients are not making progress. They were making fun of them.

I can imagine that you would be frustrated that this woman and her children have been hurt over and over again and you're not able to stop it. Hopefully they eventually get the help they need.

So last year I had a really bad episode. I am fairly certain my therapists and psychiatric did not believe me. Actually with words exchanged I know they didn't believe me. As a result they refused to help me. I had to seek help elsewhere. I was in a really bad place mentally. My argument is if they don't believe me how can they help me?

So I guess the real question needs to be in their venting do they truly believe what they're saying. If you don't believe in your patients, how can you help them? I know they didn't help me. I began to believe I was never going to get better.

I don't think venting to others in frustration is caring. It's an excuse to talk about someone. I have seen it/heard it in context of people saying they are concerned, but it's as toxic as any kind of other group gossip. People feed off the fact that if someone else is saying it, it's okay, like a kind of mob mentality. My therapist said she worked in a clinical setting where this happened all the time. She noticed the ones who did not engage in that, and took her cues from them as to what it means to be a good therapist or mh provider.

I agree. It's not caring at all and it IS toxic. I think to use the excuse of "venting" is disgusting.

I don't feel piled on at all. I didn't bring up the teacher analogy. I can see the similarities between teachers and therapists, but I think it's rather easy to show how vastly different they are. Therapist-client is a whole other world. There are religious, moralistic, psychological, sexual undertones. It can be emphatically guru-disciple or parent-child. And it's the most private of relationships. Nobody looking in. Potentially two troubled people wrangling with their unconscious in a little room. I've never had a teacher who invaded my inner world like a therapist. Therapy relationships can take over a person's life. I don't know of another example where you pay someone to have a relationship with you, and so the question of caring and authenticity seems uniquely relevant to therapy.

I dont think anyone who makes fun of their clients has any business being a therapist or anyone who thinks that having borderline personality disorder is just looking for attention should be a therapist either. I think this particular therapist does not care and that her ignorance prevents her from caring.
I know therapists who care deeply probably a bit too much and I also know some who are detached and disconnected from their patients so like every profession some care about their jobs and others dont give a hoot.

My T is not acting. I know she really cares about me.

As a clergyperson, I share some things in common with ts. You could look at it like I am paid to care. But I do care. When there is a death, I am professionally responsible for preparing for and officiating a funeral. I do funerals for lots of people, some I knew and some I didn't. Sometimes I know the family and sometimes I don't. And even with the people that I know, I do like some more than others. I may like a person more because of shared interests, because of what they have shared with me, because of having worked with them on some project etc. But everyone gets a funeral. And no matter who the deceased it, I feel bad for the family (although once in a while there are families that are not feeling so bad about the death). I would say that I am not as sad as the family is, but I do genuinely care.

I think it is the same for my ts. They care about me. Probably not as much as I care about them. I believe they wish I did not suffer. I believe that they are doing their best to help me. I believe that I sometimes cross their minds when they are not in session with me. I believe that they are ts because the want to help people and not just because it is an indoor, sitting down job.

I believe both that they care and that they have some distance because it is their job.

I think some Ts care, some don't, some are indifferent. I've experienced all 3. I thought ex-T cared (and maybe she did at one point), but clearly in the end she didn't. I think current T cares. She's not all mushy or anything. She has her boundaries. But the things she says and does seem to benefit my needs, not my wants (least not all the time).

Paying someone to "act" concerned is not for me. I don't believe in therapists.

I vent about my friends and family sometimes. That doesn't mean I don't care about them.

There are probably some Ts out there who don't care, or at least care more about some clients than others. Personally I feel certain that my T cares about me. Not in the same way they care about their friends or family, but it's a different sort of caring.

I think the teacher analogy is good, from my experience teaching. Some I liked better than others, but I wanted all of them to learn.

Therapists do care, but they have powerful boundaries to stop them caring too much.

It has to be an act. Mine told me she cared and would love me no matter what, but then called my trauma the S word. The really bad one. After that, I'm convinced it's an act.

I don't pay people to act and I don't pay them to care I pay them to help me. Does not mean that I want them to go behind my back and start making fun of me. not only is it tasteless but that also means that they don't have a strong commitment to helping me nor my best interest in mind. With that said If I am going to spill a lot of my personal life to somebody I prefer someone Who does care about me but I don't pay them to.