[Creamsicle]

Unfortunately, I've recently lost one of my jobs due to lay offs and am also splitting with my hubby and am now in different financial circumstances. My T is wonderful but very expensive. I'm just wondering how everybody would approach this with their T. I can't imagine asking T for a price break. The subject came up once last year and she did not seem very open to it. So I am thinking that I'm just going to tell her that I have to cut back on sessions but then I am wondering if she will think that I'm hinting that I want a price break. And I'm wondering if I will be disappointed if she doesn't offer and just agrees to cut back on sessions. I'm also worried that if we cut back on sessions and I pay her less, she will give me less in terms of her time in terms of texting me between sessions, which she is good about, and also going over time on our sessions, which she does once in a while when necessary.

I am just so scared to broach the subject because I don't want to lose any of the time that I have with her but know that it's not fair to ask. And also I'm so scared I will be hurt by her responses. And also, she is really a wonderful T, very caring and dedicated, but it seems like a nonnegotiable for her is her extremely high fee and that is very important to her. That is something I don't like to think about about her. How important the money is. I get nauseous so I try not to think about it. But I don't know what to do because I really can't afford this anymore now. She knows all about the layoffs and my financial situation and how much I'm struggling but hasn't mentioned anything with her fee. She also knows that right now I'm kind of in the middle of a crisis due to splitting with my husband and need her support. I am so scared to discuss this with her.

[atisketatasket]

I was in this situation last week with No. 2, for some similar reasons (divorce is expensive), except I couldn't afford even to cut back on sessions, so I just had to tell her I couldn't pay, not even with an extra two weeks or so delay that she offered. So we parted ways.

If you can still afford her, just not as often, I would tackle it that way. And very bluntly. Is it possible, too, that you could offer to pay for continued access between sessions, even though sessions are further apart, like x amount per text exchange? No. 3 and I had a deal like that over the summer with email.

She might surprise you - I still owe No. 3 quite a bit of money, and she's still offering support despite knowing she won't be paid anytime soon - actually, she's refused payment for continued contact and insists I get myself stabilized before I even think of paying her. But I do think it's best to start by making it clear that *you* are willing to be the one to sacrifice and that you are not asking that of her.

My therapist also has a ridiculously high full fee but he offered me a generous compromise at start and we have been sticking with that. I've found that he is well worth the money but would not pay his full fee even if I was a billionaire... it's just too much for a therapy session IMO unless I approach it as some sort of charity act. I understand that you don't feel comfortable asking for a fee reduction again but it sounds like this is a new financial situation for you. If anytime, now is probably a good time to bring up the fee again... your recent financial change justifies it and you could not lose anything but would know the possibilities clearly.

Are you planning to replace the lost job/income? If so, maybe temporarily reducing the number of sessions could indeed bridge that period.

I don't know if this would work for you, but i sometimes do half-sessions for half her normal fee. She's in private practice and i pay out of pocket but maybe something like that might work for you? Yes i agree its hard to talk about though i never like those money conversations with t. Then again as i told her awhile back maybe i need the reminder every now and again of the business side of ot to keep me from wanting something else of her... I wish you all the best.

[Creamsicle]

Thanks so much, everyone. I tried to bring it up with my T this morning, but I froze and couldn't do it. I'm really frustrated with myself.

[Myrto]

I sympathize with not being able to afford therapy. I CAN barely afford mine. My therapist has accepted that I pay at the end of the month (when I get my paycheck) when things are tough financially. Would that be possible for you ? Or even to cut back to seeing her twice a month instead of every week? I hope you'll be able to work sth out with your T.

[JaneTennison1]

I feel for you, I am avoiding my T rather than discuss fees. I said last session I would email when I would like another session, well that was 2 weeks ago. I wish I had the courage to tell her that therapy is great I just can't afford it for a few months.

[guilloche]

Money is such a tough topic, and the ways that Ts react seems to vary so much.

I just wanted to send you some good thoughts. Do you think it would be more helpful to broach the topic via email first, to let her know that you're nervous about talking about it? Would that generally give her a heads up to be more sensitive?

Good luck... I hope you can work something out with her. My last T was in the "ridiculously expensive" camp, and he knew it. We talked about it, and when he raised his prices, he allowed me to stay at the previous price b/c he know that it was a struggle for me (lots of budgeting to be able to afford him).

Good luck...

[Sarmas]

I don't liked discussing finances in general. I rarely discussed finances with my T. I wa son the verge of switching insurances ma figuring out my next game plan when things fell through with my T. I was actually deciding on what I was going to do based on my therapy sessions. At one point I thought that I couldn't afford it and I wasn't about to speak to her about that at all. I would've just asked her what one session was and paid her in cash and figure the rest out. My second choice was see what insurance I wanted next that would cover therapy decently. Once things fell through then things didn't matter anymore. I wasn't going to seek out another T. If I couldn't afford her knowing me I would either make up something to say that I could only see her every other week somehow being that she only works twice a week. However once a week for my issues was little to me and she had issues with emailing and text. Being that she was so disinterested I just needed up leaving. It's tough being in that predicament. You can try to cut a few sessions and ask her about texting. Perhaps you can negotiate something.

[Creamsicle]

Thanks so much, everyone. I appreciate it so much. I did tell my T that there was something hard I needed to talk to her about, but she kind of misunderstood. I think she thought it was trauma related, which would make sense usually, so then she was all soft and gentle with me. And that made me feel even more guilty that the issue on my mind was money and I got so uncomfortable and froze. Now the whole thing is all a mess. I guess I'll try again next week.