[Smilie]

What are you afraid that your T might ask or never ask you? Or what are you afraid what your T might see in you that You thought you kept well hidden? Smilie

Oh this one is easy for me. I gave my T all of my poems. I am a very raw, candid type of writer. I wrote series of poems about transference. One of the lines is, "You are probably %#@&#! your wife." Ever since I have given him those poems, every single time he says, "I want to ask you something..." I practically have a stroke, thinking that he's about go, "So.... let's talk about that line where you wrote....." It's so funny because he will literally be like, "Lemme ask you something...." And my eyes will pop out and I'll be like, "WHAT? NO! Not that!" And he's like, "What? I just wanted to ask you...." And I'll say, "Oh. I thought it was something else." God knows what he must be thinking, hahahaha... I know at some point we'll address the poem... not ready yet though.

[Cheri]

So, being an analyst, someday he's going to say: "Tell me your fantasies about me %#@&#! my wife."

[MissCharlotte]

Today I am afraid of nothing. Bring it on!.........

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sister said:
Today I am afraid of nothing. Bring it on!.........


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That's it! That's going to be my motto for today. Maybe I will walk into my session and say it, haha. Maybe I will just walk in and say, "Yeah, I wrote about you %#@&#! your wife. And? AND?!?!?! BRING IT ON, *****!!!"

Ok. Time to calm down.

[lauren_helene]

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pinksoil said:
One of the lines is, "You are probably %#@&#! your wife." Ever since I have given him those poems, every single time he says, "I want to ask you something..." I practically have a stroke, thinking that he's about go, "So.... let's talk about that line where you wrote....."

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Pink, you are one brave girl! I don't know my T's relationship status but I can understand your above comment and fears.

[MissCharlotte]

Pinksoil,

you are too much sometimes, can you imagine saying that?

hahahahahahha

lmao

[sunrise]

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Smilie said:
What are you afraid that your T might ask or never ask you?

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I am afraid that one day he will ask me to stop coming to see him.

And since we have been so focused on nuts and bolts lately, I am afraid that he will never again ask me to delve deeper. I miss the deep work... But I understand we don't have time for that right now. I hope that is not forever.

[RebbieDoll]

i was [i finished therapy last week] afraid she'd see through my former disguise of happiness [but it's real now and therapy's over, so i dont have to think about that]

[pachyderm]

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Smilie said:
What are you afraid that your T might ask or never ask you?

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"Why are you no good?"

After the 1st time my T disclosed an emotion and the 1st time he told me that he reciprocates the connection, I was afraid he would never say that/do that again. He continues to do/say a little more each session, but it still scares me that he will stop.

im afriad..of the question...

I was wondering.. do you think another T might be able to help you better?

...It would feel so bad.

[lauren_helene]

Ester my T once said he'd be okay if I wanted to see someone else rather than him.

It kind of came out of nowhere. I don't even remember what predicated the comment. I had to try and forget he said that because it hurt me a little bit.

[sunrise]

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almeda24fan said:
Ester my T once said he'd be okay if I wanted to see someone else rather than him.

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Wow, that could be really hurtful, especially if you think therapy is going just fine and that your T is really helping you. I think if I were feeling a T were not really helping me and didn't seem to have the tools to deal with my problems, then I wouldn't be hurt if he/she said that. In fact, I might feel relieved and welcome a referral. But if a T I work with well and think the world of and who I believe is helping me said that, I would be devastated. It would be indicative of a huge disconnect. ((((almedafan))))

[withit]

T'would be scary if t asked me, 'Do you want to be loved?"

or, 'do you like yourself?'

thought-provoking q's for me...


Imagine t asking, 'do you masterbate?" I once had a t who asked it cuz we were talking about ex-h who was so friggin useless in bed...that I did a better job solo...

The previous T that I had would repeatedly ask me these two questions:

How vulnerable do you feel?

and

How unsafe do you feel?

Yikes.

[Gracey]

I'm afraid he'll ask me if we can "Go" into a particularly frightening place. We sort of talk around it, and he knows about it, but we've never spoken of it.

I think I'd jump up and bolt.

[sunrise]

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pinksoil said:
How unsafe do you feel?

Yikes.

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That question would certainly do nothing to make me feel safer. Yikes is right! Sometimes my T asks, "what can I do to make it safe for you here?"

Once, very early in therapy, I was sharing a dream about me and T. He asked what it was I wanted from him in our interchange in the dream. Did I want his understanding, his love, something else? This was only our 5th session and he's asking me if I want his love? YIKES!

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sunrise said:
Sometimes my T asks, "what can I do to make it safe for you here?"

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My T asks the same exact question, word-for-word.

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Once, very early in therapy, I was sharing a dream about me and T. He asked what it was I wanted from him in our interchange in the dream. Did I want his understanding, his love, something else? This was only our 5th session and he's asking me if I want his love? YIKES!

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YIKES

Did you jump on the floor, attach yourself to his leg, and scream, "YES!"??

[(JD)]

pinksoil, we can all relate to wanting more love eh?

I have the pleasure of knowing that my T will never ask an inappropriate question, nor will he answer mine should I ask one. I am not afraid of his knowing anything about me, as he is on MY side (if there is a "side" to life.) He wants only good for me, only for me to better my best if I can, and only for me to learn to manage my life in the best way possible. That does take disclosure on my account. He never upbraids me, and always seems to fully understand and finds a way to help me also understand. He doesn't have any "personal" endeavor from my therapy, meaning he isn't in it to gain anything for himself. I may always be in therapy for my chronic pain, but it is becoming easier to manage. I owe most of that to my T.

[lauren_helene]

Want his understanding or love? That's it! I'm going to yell at my T tomorrow...and say 'where is the love?'...giggle.