[SarahSweden]

I thought about quirks among T:s like having lipstick on teeth, wearing socks in sandals, having odd socks and so on. Does your T have any quirks? If so, do you tell him/her that you notice them like "excuse me but you have lipstick on your teeth" or whatever the quirk is?

My T sometimes have lipstick on her teeth, I wouldn´t tell her, it doesn´t bother me but of course I notice. Sometimes she has also had socks in sandals, not very fashionable but kind of "she" I think.

[Waterbear]

Not really, no, but I often notice that her toenails are kept better than her fingernails, painted and suchlike. Doesn't bother me in the slightest but I notice because I find it odd, I would expect it to be the other way around.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. This is not at all an issue, it´s just something I notice with my T as I notice similar things with other people. More of a fun thread about quirks and interesting to know about how others see their T. :-)

Originally Posted by Demian BrownMSW/RSW

As a therapist this is a good question. How can you address the issues you have or insecurities about your level of care with the very person whom you dint want to make feel is not doing a good enough job with you? The answer is to bring this issue up in session 1 and ask if you can build this checkin into your sessions at the beginning or end but a good therapist would read you and pick up on any issues you might have and address them with you along the way.

[SarahSweden]

Interesting! I would probably have a similar thought about that, nothing that would bother me either but some things you just notice in people.

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Not really, no, but I often notice that her toenails are kept better than her fingernails, painted and suchlike. Doesn't bother me in the slightest but I notice because I find it odd, I would expect it to be the other way around.

[stopdog]

I don't really notice that much about either of them. I am not that focused on their physical appearance or presence unless they get too close to me. I hear them more than see them.
I would not tell them even if I did notice - it is not my responsibility to take care of the therapist.

[therapyishelping777]

My T like cracks his joints usually probably ankle joints at times and it used to bother me,that cracking sound... and I used to think it was like he subconsciously didn't like me so would do that.. but.. then I put something on the forum a while ago and someone mentioned that maybe his joints really hurt and he doesn't even notice.. I don't really care... hes a great T... but it was annoying for a while.. i just ignore that now and try to focus on whats going on.

[therapyishelping777]

ps. I did not let him know that it bothered me because it is such a little thing and he is so good. I don't think he'd be offended..? but.. I wouldn't want to chance it... I hope he doesn't know who I am in here and reading this...

[junkDNA]

hmmmm.... my T is pretty quirky. he tends to get obsessed about things. like... fishing... or a certain TV show... or researching a topic... etc.. if i bring up the TV show i cant get him to shut up about it, haha

[clairelisbeth]

My T is very well-dressed and well-groomed, no noticeable quirks in her appearance. She likes tea a lot? That's the only thing I can think of, but that's not really a quirk.

My t eats very noisily. It's actually disgusting. She also always has lipstick on her teeth.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Not really, no, but I often notice that her toenails are kept better than her fingernails, painted and suchlike. Doesn't bother me in the slightest but I notice because I find it odd, I would expect it to be the other way around.

It actually makes sense to me. In the summer I do my toenails and it can easily last 2 weeks. On the others hand between work, household chores, dishes etc I am lucky lucky if it lasts 2 days

[LonesomeTonight]

My T doesn't really have any quirks--dresses stylishly, well-groomed, etc. With marriage counselor...one thing is how many of his shirts/blazers are too big for him. Which made H wonder if he lost a bunch of weight at some point. But the main one that jumps out at me is that he'll sometimes wear polo shirts and not button them at all, showing a fair amount of chest hair (and he has dark hair and rather fair skin, so pretty noticeable). Which was...interesting the day after I first had an erotic dream about him a year and a half ago. But anyway... H has said to me that maybe he should suggest to him that he groom his chest hair or something, but, uh, that seems like an awkward conversation! We also have this theory that since he sees lots of teen clients (his specialty area), maybe he's trying to make himself as unappealing/unattractive as possible? With like the loose-fitting shirts, dad trousers, '70s chest hair... And he used to have shoes that were basically falling apart--T commented to me about them once, like, "OMG, have you seen his shoes?!?" But he seems to have fixed that issue.

Oh goodie! A chance to re-tell one of my favorite t-stories. The first year I saw her in person, she wore black ALL the time. I didn't say anything. But one day I went in there dressed head to toe in black myself. She took one look at me and goes "Are you making fun of me?" I replied, "Probably." And we laughed.

[awkwardlyyours]

She appears to have a penchant for wearing shoes with a ginormous flower (flowers?) on them -- the color of the flower(s) keeps changing though (red, black etc).

I am not sure if it's a quirk or something women routinely do / wear -- everyone else I know wears terribly boring, strictly functional footwear.

The flower(s) is distracting.

And, no I haven't commented on it -- I once nervously blurted out to former T that her toenail polish was distracting (it was some weird bright blue) and then instantly realized that I sound like I have a foot fetish (I swear I don't....I mean okay, not more than average at any rate).

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T always sits with her feet up under her. Once before, I caught her popping her toes. She also always holds a sweater. She doesn't wear it, just holds it in her lap.

[ruh roh]

I can't think of any quirks I've noticed. If I did, I would not say anything because I'm sure I have many more quirks of my own and would not like having them pointed out.

[Argonautomobile]

Man-spreading. Ugh.

[retro_chic]

My T seems petty much perfect and normal to me with no noticeable quirks. She does wear a lot of black and grey, sometimes black and white. Also, until recently I had never seen her wear pants (always a dress or a skirt). I wanted to say "wow, you're wearing pants today!" the first time I saw her wear them but I didn't for some reason. Also when T got her hair cut and was wearing it down for the first time I wanted to comment but didn't.

[ilikecats]

My T doesn't have any quirks that I can think of. She's a little bit quirky in general though. And I love it. She does wear skirts and dresses a lot, like me, which I think look really pretty on her. I think I've only seen her wear pants twice in the 13 months I've seen her, but that was under a skirt too. She's really into dancing too, so sometimes she does funny dancey movements, which I enjoy. She tries to get me to move too sometimes, which I enjoy less but still go along with.

I would not call it a quirk but my T visits the bathroom all the time, sometimes even in the middle of my session. I believe this is probably a medical issue for him and I would never mention it, not something he can change easily I guess.

One that I find funny: he sometimes has a glass of water for patients prepared sitting on the table by the coach. Often the first thing he does when I sit down is that he grabs the glass of water left over from the previous client and tosses it on the potted plant next to it. Initially there was always a fresh glass of water prepared for me when I entered but he does not bother anymore because I never drank from it.

Former T would always come to the door when I enter the room and never sat down before I took my place on the coach. But he was quite slow moving, meaning that often there would be like 30 seconds between me and him sitting down, and I would often start talking immediately. For some reason, that stopped his movement and he would not take his seat if I spoke but remained standing looking down at me. That was moderately annoying and I sometimes asked him to sit down, or there was a minute of awkward silence in the beginning.

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Not really, no, but I often notice that her toenails are kept better than her fingernails, painted and suchlike. Doesn't bother me in the slightest but I notice because I find it odd, I would expect it to be the other way around.

That would bother me - not that a T would paint his or her toenails (their feet, their decision), but that they would have bare feet when they were working. To me, personally, that would feel unprofessional.

[Waterbear]

That's interesting. I am glad that it doesn't bother me because it happens a lot. She dresses smartly but casually and often has sandals instead of closed shoes. I can see how it would bother some though, each to their own as they say!

[t0rtureds0ul]

Aside from the whole psycho stalker deal, I would say a quirk of my ex T's is that he has no sense of rhythm. In two years it only really showed up once, and I found it incredibly endearing. He completely understands and utilises the importance rhthym has in my life, and so it really wasnt an issue (other than I wished he didnt understand the importance of rhthym to me)!

In terms of clothing, my T nearly always wears shirts with long sleeves, even in the hottest summer weather. And it's not that the air conditioning is set to particularly cold. But he did wear short sleeves once and I noticed he has a really nice upper arm tattoo. I often secretly wish he would show up in short sleeves again so that I can study the tattoo more... but no such luck. I imagine perhaps he wears the long sleeves to work because some clients may not like tattoos and it might influence how they see him. Or like it too much. It actually also had an effect on me: I kept being flooded by erotic fantasies during the day after the session when I saw his tattoo (and a bigger chunk of his arm obviously). I find my T very good looking and I like tattoos. If he flashed it again, I might compliment on it and we could talk about tattoos perhaps. Or my fantasies wrapping those arms around me...