[atisketatasket]

Possible trigger:

who killed themselves?

. And what was that like for them?

For possibly obvious reasons, I asked mine.

No. 3, no, but had some close calls, knows people who have, and it's terrible
No. 2, yes, and it's very hard
Psychiatrist, yes, a new patient, felt she did her best but sorry for the family

It makes sense that a therapist would be more affected than a psychiatrist who sees patients once a month or so.

Anyway, have you asked this? What was the answer?

[stopdog]

I do not know - I assume they have. The woman was a tad over the top solicitous when a client of mine committed suicide. I was not all that bothered by it - but the therapist gasped. Of course - she is known for over-acting - so there is that.

My psychiatrist has, and he said he almost quit psychiatry as a result.

[jeremiahgirl]

I think I've asked him that question and he said no but have had close "moments" with clients. I also asked a home nurse this years ago and she said yes, she had a client who died. I'm sure it was hard on her. I think it's more common then one normally believes. They are vulnerable too.

[SheHulk07]

I remember old T1 saying something when we first started seeing each other about a client who killed himself. I don't remember if he mentioned if it was his client or a colleague of his client. I would guess it would be hard on the therapist, and they may question their own work.

[Electric76]

I hear it happens to many therapists. Theres an actual statistic like 1 in 4 or something. I've never asked any of my T's. Even if they had experienced that, it might lead to difficult emotions of the therapist, the client wanting to caretake for the therapist, and/or the client losing hope in therapy. Basically I think it happens more often than therapists will admit in the room

I always wondered but could never get myself to ask this.

I think so because

Possible trigger:

when I talked about going to my mum's inquest he said he had been to one before in a professional role

Yes my t has when she was training and she almost quit. I heard from someone else about it. I would never ask her.

[musinglizzy]

T1 and T2, I don't believe so. T1 definitely said no. T3 went on vacation over the summer for a couple of weeks, and she mentioned to me that she had a client commit suicide while she was gone. Her office had called her while she was on vacation to let her know. She sounded rather troubled by it, but she didn't go any further into the subject, which I'm sure is probably a good thing. As a client, she probably already told me more than she should have.

[LesFleursDuMal]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Possible trigger:

who killed themselves?

. And what was that like for them?

For possibly obvious reasons, I asked mine.

No. 3, no, but had some close calls, knows people who have, and it's terrible
No. 2, yes, and it's very hard
Psychiatrist, yes, a new patient, felt she did her best but sorry for the family

It makes sense that a therapist would be more affected than a psychiatrist who sees patients once a month or so.

Anyway, have you asked this? What was the answer?

I have never asked this question to any of the psychiatrists i've seen and I would never dare asking it to my current psychologist. I feel like it's not my business, and I wouldn't want to remind him something so difficult and possibly hurtful.

May I ask what made you ask ?

[healed84]

Nope, he get very serious as ideations start to get worse. Once admitting to actual plan an serious thoughts, we sign contracts, more frequent check ins.. And he has called family before. He says that one of the reasons he has never had to deal with it.

I think though, the bulk of his clients are parental evaluations, court ordered therapy.. So they don't stay very long. And maybe he doesn't take in a lot of high risk clients.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I never thought to ask, but I'd be curious to know. Maybe for the same reasons as you?

[Sarmas]

My ex T said she did and that she can't take blame for what someone else does. She told me that she's not psychic and that people are going to react and do what they're going to do and that certain things are out of her hands. When she told me that I sat there and inwasntbsure what to think. I saw it as a cold response and to me it was almost defensive. I know I had thoughts of doing so and I was battling this. In the same token she said that if I have a plan to call her. It's a bit confusing.

[Loco4]

I found out through google search that my T has. I've never brought it up with her, I don't feel the need to.

[awkwardlyyours]

No, I haven't asked.

Mostly because former T got six kinds of weird when I finally 'showed' her how I was feeling (rather than just talking about it in the abstract). She immediately got jittery and really insistent about meds, adding DBT etc. I had little or no trust that she wouldn't try to be even more coercive if I brought up the topic again (it was at the penultimate session I had with her anyhow).

Current T -- haven't asked her but I could. She is rather open and talks very matter-of-fact-ly about the details of the ideation etc.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by LesFleursDuMal

I have never asked this question to any of the psychiatrists i've seen and I would never dare asking it to my current psychologist. I feel like it's not my business, and I wouldn't want to remind him something so difficult and possibly hurtful.

May I ask what made you ask ?

I actually do think it is a client's business if the client wants to know. Any experience as a therapist is fair game for the client to ask about - and if the therapists disagree with that, they have the right not to answer. It's not like I'm asking, "is there a history of suicide in your family?", which I don't have the right to know.

And it is a question of particular interest to those of us who are suicidal ourselves.

[stopdog]

I agree that clients should be able to get the information if they want it.
But I wonder how the information is useful?

[atisketatasket]

It can be an experience question, much like, "have you treated clients with post-partum depression?"

In my case, I am trying to envision the consequences of my suicide for everyone I am involved with.

[stopdog]

Ah. I believe one has a right to choose but I have not found many therapists who believed or would admit to believing any other than the party line. I am sort of fascinated by the propoganda and societal hysteria around the idea of suicide. I would certainly never urge it upon anyone, but I also don't believe in the idea the I am somehow conscripted into staying alive simply because I happened to have been born.

[AllHeart]

My current t did have someone suicide out a couple of decades ago. T said she felt like a total failure. It was very upsetting for her to tell me about it all these years later.

[precaryous]

PrevT said, no.

CurrentT said, yes. I could see a flash of devastation cross her face when she answered me. She has had a client sui.
I don't know what I was expecting asking the question.

Her answer was helpful because intellectually I know if I did it, my DD and grandson would be devastated, as well. But seeing that emotion play over T's face made me rethink the subject. She connected with me emotionally.

I wonder if that's why currentT is the first T I have ever had say to me-
"Here's my cell phone number, call anytime. Email anytime" - as often as I want. And we set guidelines for what she might consider "too much" or over stepping boundaries. I don't want to be a burden.

You would think i should know how it feels to have someone close to you sui-

Possible trigger:

because I know how I felt when my grandmother took her own life in a violent way.

But sometimes when I get into dark places and it hurts so much, all I can think about is getting my own pain to stop.

It's made me rethink the subject.

Also, years ago when I was in a bad place, my family doctor refilled my sleeping med but said to me with an edge in his voice, "Don't you dare use these to overdose"- it never occurred to me that the MD would be angry if I tried something like that.

I guess I care too much how other people feel. But their comments did expand my world view. Is that insight? Dunno.

[awkwardlyyours]

I wonder if the party line (from SD's post) is more driven by the potential for being sued (not that it's entirely that but I'm hard pressed to imagine else that so many Ts uniformly believe the same thing when there isn't the same level of consensus in the general population [am now entirely speaking sans any facts and figures]).

Current T did chat rather amicably with me for the better part of a session on the implications of that line from cummings - 'Unbeing dead isn't being alive'.

[stopdog]

An md getting angry about anything I did would not make me not do something. I would think the md needed to get some perspective on the fact that the md is not god nor my mother and has no ability to tell me what I can and cannot do.

[junkDNA]

Possible trigger:

i met my T in a treatment facility. a few people committed suicide there, one on campus, one on an interstate near campus, and many others after they had left the program. i am not sure if any of them worked directly with my T because he was the clinical director. i do remember seeing him beating up a punching bag in one of the dorms one evening after we had got news that a lady had committed suicide. he was obviously upset. after the man killed himself on campus in 2014 my T texted me a lot as i was going thru a rough time with psychosis. he would text me every couple hours to ask me how i was. i think he was really worried that it might have a ripple effect.

i asked my T if he would be relieved if i committed suicide. its a lie i tell myself sometimes. he said no! i would be devastated!!