Has your therapist had a client...[TRIGGER]

I'm not at all sure what the actual risk for a therapist losing their license from a client's suicide would be. Certainly they will worry about it, or about being sued, but it seems to me that it would be very hard to prove that the therapist did not do the best they could by the patient. The psychiatrists may have more to fear, especially if prescription drugs are involved somehow.

I didn't ask them these questions to know how they would feel if I did this and adjust my plans accordingly, but to try to get some sense of what it might be like for others I care more about if I did this. As it is, only No. 3 volunteered how she would feel if I did in fact die.

I think for me the question of why ask the T has terribly specific answers based on both the stage I am at (FKM's point about internal conflict kinda hit the nail on the head) as well as the extent to which I allow myself to feel any kind of an emotional connection to the T.

So, given that currently, other than passing thoughts, I don't feel a striking and persistent sense of urgency, I am open to having a general largely curiosity-driven conversation with a T. Further, since it's barely been a month since I've been with current T, any response she gives me is something that'll have little emotional resonance for me. So, it'll largely be a question along the lines of my wanting to know her experience / expertise etc.

At the time that I was less passively suicidal, I distinctly remember feeling little to nothing. Anyone -- including a T -- telling me how they felt would've just been vague, distant background noise at best.

There have been other times though between these two ends of the spectrum when I believe I would've benefited from asking this question of a T. These were times when my internal world was incredibly chaotic and frightening. On the one hand, I was flooded with emotions and thoughts at a speed and intensity that I clearly couldn't cope with -- a part of the reason for the intensity of the ideation. And yet, at another level, I actually had little access to my emotions in any real way -- everything just seemed out of hand. These times have invariably been accompanied by a searing distrust of all my personal relationships -- so, my ability to connect emotionally with someone other than a well-trained T would be rather low. And yet, it is that bridge to an emotional connection of some sort with another person that's been most needed to get me out of the chaos in my noodle.

Talking to a T then -- especially one that I feel any sense of emotional connection with -- about how they'd feel about it would be a way for me to gain entry into my own emotional world and provide a sort of point of reference. Their actual answer -- that they'd feel terrible or par for the course etc -- wouldn't matter as much as the emotional sense of reaching out to someone who can provide a distanced but emotional sense of grounding while having little stake in my real life. For obvious reasons, no one I am actually connected to in my life can provide me with that. So, using the T to orient myself and have a compass of sorts to make my way out of my internal emotional chaos while at the same time not needing to care about the T's feelings would make asking a question like this rather helpful to me.

Well - even if "nobody cares" (usually my go-to rationale) - is THAT a reason to do stg? Even THAT is other-directed. Which im saying is not a good reason. I dont so much owe it to MYSELF as i OWE it to that little weed that tries to grow between the cracks in the concrete - THAT is pure life asserting itself. I honor that.

ATAT -I am sorry you are having a rough time. I admit I don't understand most of the things people are talking about here, but I hope that knowing what therapists think about these things is useful to you.

So, using the T to orient myself and have a compass of sorts to make my way out of my internal emotional chaos

This^. Using the T as a compass--not to find "true North"--but rather to find whether North exists relative to where I am, strikes me as the answer these questions often represent. And the diminished emotional entanglement can make it a safer space in which to ask. And maybe the asking, more than the answer, helps to diminish the perceived need for the action. Hope it does for you, @T@T.

T1 has worked in a closed psychiatric clinic (?) and there have been clients who killed themself. I don't know how well she knew them. I didn't asked any questions at the time. What she say about it: she hopes that that person wasn't alone, that the person had at least one person that cares about her and that that person also knew it.

I have never asked my T. However, when I became suicidal last year, T seemed to be working real hard at maintaining professional decorum after revealing how serious I'd been while s/he'd been gone the week before. S/he nearly screamed at me, "I wasn't even out of town. You could have called. Did you think I wouldn't be able to help?" Considering how low key and together T is in sessions, I would have to guess that, yes, my T has had a client commit suicide. Too, when I told T I'd found one of my patients in his hospital room, dead from suicide, T made quite a big deal out of it and noted almost every word I said about my reaction. It was very hard on me. Think it would be difficult for most therapists.

I never really asked them if they had a client do this but I know it would devastate them. The very first thing you do when you come to the clinic is you sign a safety plan. If you don't follow the safety plan they refer you to a different clinic where clients have more severe mental disorders. There was one lady in group who was actively S******* and attempted many times and she was sent to this other clinic after too many attempts. They take c****** and s****** attempts very seriously at this clinic but you are supposed to abide by the safety contract. You are not even allowed to mention these words in group therapy.

Can someone please tell me what FOO means? hx?

I don't know if my T has had anyone sui near him, but when he thought I was thinking about it he got really nervous. So, I told him to stop worrying and he's calmed down.

I hope the woman is never so off her game that she asks me this question. I would think she had gone mad. The only possible answer I would have is of course I don't think you would be able to help. What would you (therapist) be able to do that was actually useful? Why would you (therapist) think I would need help for such a thing?

But as she knows my views, I would hope (quite possibly a futile hope) that the woman would not add insulting me in such a fashion to her list of flaws.

FOO is Family Of Origin.

hx usually stands for history as in I have a hx of Malaria

sorry for the abbreviations, just coming back to this thread now. kecanoe defined hx as I meant it. Thanks

Thanks everyone for resolving my confusion in terms.

I get what you're saying. I guess if it was a surgeon or other Doctor I could judge how effective or how "good" they are based on the outcome. I guess an increasing number of fatalities in the medical profession would cause patients to run in the other direction. The thought never crossed my mind as to what my t's "outcomes" were. Once I got to know her and she expressed to me her thoughts about losing clients then she brought things into perspective for me. At the time I was having a difficult time and I felt as if she was minimizing my issues and she was MIA. It was at a time where I needed her the most. Somehow we got into the conversation about suicide and expressed to me how she can't blame herself for a clients action. It was the way she said it and it just seemed so cold. I thought to myself at that time that if I was someone else perhaps I would've committed suicide before that session. The fact that she was reaching out and I felt alone was a major issue. When she told me that she had several clients that did then I said to myself that I could see why. She said that my job deals with people life where it's a matter of life or death but she doesn't. I interrupted her because I totally disagreed but then it was the end of time and we never spoke about it again. I disagreed with her. I could be wrong but I think as a therapist you are dealing with people's lives. Words can either be triggering or comforting.

I have never asked a therapist that question. From what I have read, therapists take it very hard. I read about a CBT therapist and author (I don't recall which one) who had to console himself with thoughts that he had honestly tried his personal best, feeling grief and self-doubt was perfectly human, and that the best approach was to learn what he could do better in future situations with potentially suicidal clients. "Grieve and grow" is all a person can do in that situation.