Half hour session today

Kinda weird, but here goes nothing.

I finally feel validated for my feelings about my emotions and about my relationships with people.

Nothing spectacular for most people, but I SO needed it.

Health services on my campus is where I normally have therapy - I was there with a friend, and was about ready to have a breakdown in the waiting room (for no apparent reason - okay, maybe because I was stressed out over my exam tonight and the fact I saw my friend again and he's now gone AGAIN - see Relationships for more info on that).

He said everything I was feeling was normal and to be expected given how I respond to stress and losing people. He's not exactly liking what I'm doing to myself lately (I've done some drinking... by myself) but he did tell me that I'm supposed to contact him if I ever feel the urge to do something again.

Also talked about delaying gratification - which I'm glad he reminded me that it is actually a viable option. Wait a while before doing something - or at least try to. No failing if you can't wait, just trying. So will see if that works at least. Going to ask him about other coping mechanisms (instead of SI) on Monday. We'll also probably get to talk about this 'mini session' which I'm perfectly fine with (okay, I did wind up in tears which I dislike, but overall at least I was coherent and LIKED my T instead of hating him).

I told him that a friend of mine told me that my relationship with my friend (who's now left) was inappropriate and he was also telling me how I emotionally latch onto people and when they leave, it actually IS like part of me leaves with them. Apparently this is sorta normal for some people according to my T - he also said it was normal about my feelings of rejection and how hurt I was because of my past experiences. Haha - best part - he said that the guy I liked probably didn't know how to express himself when I said goodbye to him (I was almost in tears) ... and all my friend could say (when I said I couldn't think up anything expect to say except "I'll miss you") was "I know you will". Which was nice, but upsetting. Basically he said guys can be entirely clueless when it comes to some things in relationships. Absolutely priceless, considering my T IS a guy.

He told me I was allowed to ask for help from others and for support - and that wouldn't make me dependent or a bad person. That relationships are a two-way street and that I couldn't always be giving to people and not getting anything back - that it could lead to problems that way.

... maybe I'm being redundant in this post by this point, but I feel validated. He made me feel normal - which is not something I normally feel in therapy. I feel decent. It feels nice. Can I keep this good feeling (and not the one where I am emotionally in pain because I don't like expressing it yet)?

5 days until therapy again. I'm enjoying the fact I can see him so frequently now, it's going to SUCK when September hits and I might only get to see him once every two weeks. But we'll deal with that later this month - I'll make sure of it.

That is great Christina!!! I'm so happy that you found someone to support you and listen. You deserve it!!

(((((((((((((((EV))))))))))))))))))

Thanks I'm still really happy about this - hope it continues.

(((((((((((((((Sky)))))))))))))))))

Thanks

Very nice pic btw